am i being mean

Icey77

My parents never allowed me to have my BF to stay. It's only since I moved out and went home for a special occasion such as Christmas that I've been allowed to have the BF stay with me - we'd been living together for 6 months by that point

As for the sex bit, I'm now in my mid thirties and will not entertain the idea of having sex in my parents house. It's bad enough that the bed squeaks just turning over, I certainly don't want my mum to hear me and the BF "at it" :eek:

ManOnTheMoon

TUS wrote: »

If my child was mature, we had discussed contraception and I thought the relationship was serious ... I would allow it at 16. If you are feeling uncomfortable its likely one of those three factors isn't quite right.

That's how I see it too, although I still say not whilst younger children are in the house and i'd rather they waited and i'd rather it was a serious relationship, which is why my eldest girls carry contraception as i'd rather that, than be a grandad just yet and as someone else pointed out, a flat rebuff may only make them find a spot in the woods etc.

It's useful to speak to children as soon as you think they understand about such things and explain any reasoning or anything they want to know. Don't rely on Sex Education in schools, it's not thorough enough.

Owain_Moneysaver

Icey77 wrote: »

As for the sex bit, I'm now in my mid thirties and will not entertain the idea of having sex in my parents house. It's bad enough that the bed squeaks just turning over, I certainly don't want my mum to hear me and the BF "at it" :eek:

"I thought I'd wait until you'd finished, dear, shall I bring some tea and toast up and do you want the sheets washed?"

Ladyhawk

Definitely not being mean!

My parents (not religious at all) would not even let me have my boyfriend in my room... during the day... with the curtains and door open when I was 20!! It was quite rediculous! And the one time he stayed over he stayed in the guest room. We respected that though. Except for once when my boyfriend came round to visit one morning when my parents were at work. I was getting ready for a shift at the pub so was in the bath and he was there chatting to me. My dad came home unexpectedly and my boyf scuttled into the spare room and sat on the bed reading a book. My dad went balistic!

Oh well... maybe it was because that particualt boyfriend was such a complete loser!

System

I echo what others say, your house, your rules. I've never been allowed to sleep in the same room as bf, even one i was with for 3 years and lived with :eek: but i have younger brother and sisters and they have to set an example of sorts.

Though if my parents ever come to stay with me i'm making them sleep in seperate rooms...

I got around it with an ex by staying o0ne night at my house and spending the other in a hotel!

r.mac_2

I agree with other posters that its your house and they must respect your rules. at my parents house I was never aloud a boyfriend to stay in my room - although they were welcome to stay in the spare room. My now-husband was only able to stay in my room once we were married, even though we lived together when we were engaged! This was fro two reasons

1. I have younger sisters and
2. it was against my parents 'beliefs'

Coveredinbees!!!!

Not mean, I would say the other parents are being irresponsible. If it was my daughter I would be wearing his nuts for earrings.

ellay864

My 18yr old DS and his 17 yr old gf sleep together in his room when she stays over. He's been really open with me and I know they're being responsible and I know they will have sex anyway (its school holidays and I'm at work for starters!) so I would rather theres no sneaking around. My other DS isn't 16 for a few months but I also know he is sleeping with his gf. I wasnt surprised when he did eventually tell me and I was glad he could tell me. But I wouldn't let them sleep together if only because it is underage (I know they're being careful). I cant use the argument about them not knowing each well as they've been together 18 months (longer than DS1 and his gf) so I'm waiting to see what'll happen when they both hit 16. I have beaten myself up over it a bit but I really dont see how I can stop them having sex if theyre determined to unless I give up my job and stalk him:(

Wickedkitten

There's no way in hell that I would. They might be over the legal age but they are still not adults.

Morglin

julie03 wrote: »

i have a 16 yr old son who has been in a relationship for 6 mths

we know they are having sex but when she stays over i make them sleep in seperate rooms, but when he stays at her house they sleep in the same room.

i am not altogether comfortable with them sleeping in the same room plus i have an 8yr old and 3 yr old to consider

am i being mean in this decision

Do what makes you comfortable.

Just before I got wed for the second time, my husband to be and I stayed the night at my parents (we were both the wrong side of 50!!!!), and they asked that we sleep in seperate rooms, even though we were living together lol:eek:

But, that was fine, and we respected their views, old fashioned or not, that only married people should share a bed.

Lin