am i being mean

Karate

Is it just because of the younger children? Or because you feel uncomfortable with the idea? How would you feel thinking they might be having sex during the day while the gf is over anyway?


Just to add my own experiences, I was allowed bfs over to stay from the age of 17 (when I had my first serious boyfriend). He stayed over after about three or four months. I was allowed to stay at his also.
My current partner has told me his mum also allowed gfs to stay over from the age of 17 (when he had his first serious relationship, young child in this situation also-lock on the bedroom door solves any problems. I don't know any 16 year old that would want mum etc to hear them having sex anyway lol. ). Neither of us have ended up pregnant/got someone else pregnant.

I would worry that the likelihood of not using contraception would increase if they felt they had to have sex *elsewhere*. If they both kept condoms in their own bedrooms they are more likely to be used as opposed to if they had sex on the park bench late at night type thing, add to this the risk of getting caught- criminal offence?

claretmatt

Do you buy the condoms or do you make your son pay for them?

Mely

Fang wrote: »

Your house, your rules.

Though my parents didn't have that rule, mainly because they wanted to be sure that if anything was going to happen it would be in a safe place.

Safe place? As opposed to the middle of a motorway, or something?:rotfl:

Mely

Julie...you are not being mean. Its your house,your rules. I would never let any of my daughters sleep with a boyfriend under my roof. When they get married of course it would be fine....but untill then no way! I hope your son and his girlfriend are using effective contraception.

janninew

What a mean mum you are!! Ha ha - Only joking!!;)

Agree as other have said - your house, your rules!

My parents let my boyfriend stay over when I was 16, we had been together for 2 years and were a sensible couple. Not sure what I will do if my daughter asks (not something I have to worry about for ages yet!)

I do remember my best friend at the time also had a boyfriend, but her parents wouldn't let him stay over, they weren't even allowed to be alone together in the house! She moved out at 17 (not sure what the reasons were) She was married last August, to the same man she has been with since being a teen. I'll never forget her telling me that she told her parents when they came to stay for the wedding, they weren't allowed to share a bedroom at her house as they aren't married (been together over 30 years) I couldn't believe it and thought it was very petty (but hilarous as well!!) She gave them the same line they told her years ago 'my house, my rules!' :eek:

That story still makes me chuckle when I think about it!! :rotfl:

julie03

we have discussed contreception, i would prefer they use extra protection ie the pill, as they already have had one split, but this is not my decision

the younger children are an issue as i have a 8yr old with dyspraxia and aspergers and he can be innappropiate enough as it is.

but its more the fact that to me they are still kids, even though they don't think so, so far they have split up at least once a month and i would prefer to wait until i know the relationship is alot more serious.

the GF does live 3 bus rides away, this is why they stay over each others quite a bit

Karate

I would agree then about the 'seriousness' of the relationship, ie splitting up every month, and also with your 8yo and would continue to have them in separate rooms, although explain thoroughly your reasoning.

thorsoak

Your house - your rules! When b-f/g-fs slept over in brother/sisters room - ifswim!

Our rules were that yes, you can entertain b-f /-f in your room - BUT YOUR BEDROOM DOOR STAYS OPEN (and smaller brothers/sisters are around)

It was only when #3 son was last man standing (aka last one boomeranging) age 25, he asked could his partner stay with him in his room for a couple of nights en route to somewhere else that this rule was relaxed.

wantai

Mely wrote: »

Safe place? As opposed to the middle of a motorway, or something?:rotfl:

that cracked me silly! :rotfl:

pigpen

I wasn't allowed my XH to stay over ever.. he stayed at christmas AFTER THE BIRTH OF OUR OLDEST SON!!!! .. but other than that he stayed at his and I stayed at mine. We got our own place fairly sharpish!

I would not allow my children to have people staying over.

I am allowed to sleep with OH at his mums.. but he is 29 lol