How much housework does your OH do?

ManOnTheMoon

1sttimer - I had 2 partners who did NOTHING. In the end it (along with other things granted) destroyed our relationship.

When your kids - eldest was 13 at the time, does more than her mother, just by helping her dad occasionally, you know their is a problem.

Fortunately my current partner shares the load with me and the girls help out. That may not be much help to you, but it's affecting your relationship enough to post here about it and your OH simply will have to do something or it will all blow up one day and possibly destroy your relationship.

Trust me, it was easier when their mothers left as 1. I noticed no difference in the amount of work I had to do on my own and 2. It was easier as I didn't have to work around a slob getting angry because an adult had no desire to help herself, her children or partner.

I wish I had answers as to what to do, but as my relationships ended, I can't really.

Other than go on holiday for a week without him and see if that shakes him a little.

penelopedee_2

DH cooks and washes up every day, sometimes empties the bins and generally keeps downstairs looking tidy (without hoovering though). He will also do the lawns and diy with a bit of gentle nagging and as he's out of work he is in charge of childcare.

If I want anything specific done I write a list and put it up next to the meal planner, and he'll do it when I'm at work.

Everything else I do, I love doing the laundry but hoovering - hate it, good job we've got laminate flooring.

Newly_retired

We are both retired, officially, but I do 2 days a week voluntary work and have several other commitments. He has a p/t job but mostly works all the time, 6 days a week. Therein lies the crunch. I feel my work is devalued and my efforts not appreciated.
He looks after the garden, between 1 hr - 6 hrs a week in summer, far less in winter. I never do more than deadhead the flowers.
He does DIY jobs as required - or not. We paid for someone to install new bathroom and kitchen last November. Still waiting for him to finish off little jobs before we decorate. He hasn't done any decorating for about 10 yrs. He is actually very good at DIY and can mend most things.
He sorts out all my computer problems and mends anything that is broken.
He will drive me anywhere if required( I also drive myself) and Ii do ask him to do this when I need to as it is one of the few things I know he will agree to do.
He pays the main bills by Direct Debit and won't shop around, except when it is for gadgets for him or his work.
He loads the dishwasher most days but does not do hand washing or wipe surfaces.
What do I do?
I unload the dishwasher, do hand washing, clean the sink, the loo, the floors, in fact do all the cleaning, washing of clothes, take piles upstairs but I don't put his away. I do most of the ironing though he is meant to do his shirts.
He is a collector and hoarder. When I dust ( not very often) I resent having to dust over 50 objects that he has collected that I don't actually want in the house. I clean less and less. He doesn't see dust, though he will hoover up if he does some DIY job and makes a mess.
I do the shopping but he will pick up anything HE needs. He has lots of needs, but I can make do with what we've got. I do almost all the cooking, though he will cook occasionally and will prepare veg if I ask.
I look after our savings and pass on MSE advice which he generally ignores.
Am I happy with these arrangements? No.
I have given up nagging as it has no effect. He says I am too fussy.

Newly_retired

He does bring me a cup of tea in bed every morning. I do appreciate that.

lisawood78

None at all, except for DIY type things, BUT he works 5 days a week away in another country and I work at home, doing P/T administration for our company.
He does the housework where he lives in the week though.

Tropez

My partner and I have only been living together a short period.

I work from home but this often involves some odd hours and such. My partner is out of the house most of the day, usually not getting in until 10ish and so doesn't do much house work at all.

I have a cleaner/housekeeper to take care of most of the cleaning, making the beds, laundry etc. simply because in all honesty, I'm fairly lazy when it comes to motivating myself to do this but I like the house to be kept clean and it is a minor expense really. And I'll use the excuse that it keeps someone employed during the recession and keeps me free to concentrate on my work

My girlfriend texts me each evening to let me know whether she needs anything cooked for her when she gets back home and if she does I'll do that.

I also take care of anything to do with the computers or electronic stuff (like setting the alarm for her... she doesn't get on with electrical things! lol). I also take care of watering the garden... though I have a gardener for the more important things that I'm rubbish at.

My partner hasn't done much around the home since she moved in but then she doesn't have to as everything else gets taken care of. She has hoovered once or twice when she felt it needed doing and has unloaded the dishwasher as well when I have forgotten to. Generally though, because of the amount of time she works, I would rather do everything myself (or have it arranged so that it is done :rotfl:) so that I can spend some quality time with her when she gets home and at the weekends.

lauren_1

My OH needs coaxing and seldom does anything unprompted, if i say im going to wash up he always says do i want him to dry or if he see's me tidying he will offer to hoover which is good. He doesn't wash clothes and seems to make 99% of the household mess but he will do something if asked.

LillythePink

My DH uses the "I do the outside, you do the inside" excuse not to do anything - the thing is, he still expected me to help him in the garden!!!

I do 99% of everything around the house - at our previous place, I think he put the bins out 5 times in 3 years!

I work FT, study and look after my daughter while he just does f all.......well, he does service my car when it needs it!

PinkLipgloss

We both work full time.

We each do our own washing/ironing.

When one of does the cooking - the other does the washing up.

In terms of household cleaning - I'd say OH does a bit more than me!

1sttimer_2

Well, thanks for all your replies, I seem to have lots of you with OH's like mine and I'm more than jealous of the ones who have such wonderful helping partners.

The other week I'd stripped the bed in the morning to wash the sheets etc and hadn't made it straight away (I was late for work) and at night time he went to bed about 1/2 hour before me and when I went up, he was laid on top of the unmade bed! Because it has been so warm, we only needed a sheet and pillowcases - his excuse was that he didn't know where they were kept! We've only been in the house for 30+ years!

I will admit he sometimes empties the dishwasher - but I think that's only because he needs clean glasses etc! He's been known to put in the dirty ones without fully emptying the clean ones because he's not noticed that they'd been washed!!!

He does actually do things when I've asked, but I would really like him to take some initiative when jobs are needed. He will renew lightbulbs if he can't see properly, but if it's light enough - he'll wait till I ask - honestly! He doesn't do DIY unless it's necessary, although he likes to buy the tools needed! We have enough tools to stock an ironmongers! We had to renew our downstairs loo about 6-7 years ago and at the same time decided to update the cupboards (got a worker in to do that), then he wanted to have the walls tiled so that it didn't need decorating so we bought some and had the boxes of tiles stored in the hallway for over 4 years! I eventually got a friend to put them up and i painted whatever needed to be done but I'm still waiting for the (already bought) laminated floorboards to be put down.

When we bought the house, we had to do quite a bit of decorating (I said we, but I meant me!) and I was putting up a decorative border in the bedroom and needed help - so he put a plank between two different height step ladders and when i got to the end of one, he moved one set of ladders and the plank for me to continue. Very helpful! He did buy me a platform set after I almost fell off.:D

It is very frustrating when you need something doing and he is totally oblivious to what is needed. I don't want to nag, but after asking nicely a few times for a job to be done, it's hard not to get just a little cross at him. I used to blame his mum, but at 59 I think he's old enough to take responsibility for his own actions.

I have tried to think of one job he does without being told, and I really cannot think of one - he'll even push the rubbish down in the bin rather than empty it and put a new liner in! When he vacc'd the house Sunday, he ended up in our bedroom, and that's exactly where the very full vac is now! So do I empty it and put it away, or leave it there till i need it next! What on earth can I do with him:rotfl: