Clearmydebts - new chapter to becoming debt free before moving home

clearmydebts

I think I would move back once the next baby is born or maybe just before Xmas and Oh could travel back and forth. It does seem like the only compromise available that would make everyone semi-happy rather than me just being miserable and depressed.

I'm not sure if his boss would allow him to do that. Failing that he may be able to request compressed hours and work Monday - Thursday and then take Friday off. I think all work places have to at least consider flexible working requests.

starnac

RE going sick. If it's pregnancy related they can make you start your mat leave early but it not then they can't. so for instance if you were to go to your doctor and he signs you off sick with exhaustion/stress then i'm pretty sure they can't make you start your mat leave early as you could have that without being pregnant.

In my case I've got SPD and if I go sick later on with that then I'm sure they will try to make me take my mat leave early as it's pregnancy related.

Hope you sort something out soon and you feel a bit better ((((((()))))))

clearmydebts

starnac wrote: »

RE going sick. If it's pregnancy related they can make you start your mat leave early but it not then they can't. so for instance if you were to go to your doctor and he signs you off sick with exhaustion/stress then i'm pretty sure they can't make you start your mat leave early as you could have that without being pregnant.

In my case I've got SPD and if I go sick later on with that then I'm sure they will try to make me take my mat leave early as it's pregnancy related.

Hope you sort something out soon and you feel a bit better ((((((()))))))

Thanks Starnac,

I don't think I will go to the doctor as I don't feel awfully stressed yet. I am going to speak to my boss tomorrow and point out that the fact that I and other colleagues are constantly building up TOIL means there is a flaw in the expectations of part-time work and I will also tell her that I don't want to be contacted on my days off unless there is an emergency.

I am also going to tell her that I am not going to apologise constantly for things that are outwith my control.

How are you feeling? At least I only have 6 weeks left to work. I am going to leave at 34 weeks!

savingholmes

Hi CMD it sounds tough at the moment...

Most babies are born late is my impression, but even if your friends could have Max for a few hours or drop off and pick up from creche that would help.... If it is really such a big concern would you consider either a) a home birth or b) a domino delivery - where they agree to let you out within 6 hours of the birth? I did the latter - you still go into hospital but it is agreed in advance it is for the minimum amount of time... A friend of mine has had 8 successful home births... not something I would fancy but something to consider?

Cinny91

Hope you're feeling a little better this morning CMD. It really does sound quite unfair Good luck talking to your Boss today. Fingers crossed they get the message, it does seem really weird how they expect you to work. To me in your posts it just seems like you're horribly homesick. Keeping my fingers crossed your OH can change his hours and you'll be able to move home.

Birdie85

I read through this yesterday and thought of nice things to say then forgot to actually say them!

I agree that you sound so homesick, it seems like a good interim plan for your OH to change his hours (fingers crossed he'll be allowed!) so you can go home where you belong.

With the job stuff, make it clear that you are part time, you can only do x amount of hours of work a week and that it is down to the management to prioritise what gets done. And that you shall be taking your lieu time shortly so that you don't lose it. I'd really annoy them and have to keep 'going to the doctor for pregnancy related issues' during work hours i.e. sneaking long lunches!

zigmeister

Oh CMD you sound so down *hugs*

I hope you manage to work something out that makes things better for you and your family. Did you manage to speak to your boss today?

clearmydebts

savingholmes wrote: »

Hi CMD it sounds tough at the moment...

Most babies are born late is my impression, but even if your friends could have Max for a few hours or drop off and pick up from creche that would help.... If it is really such a big concern would you consider either a) a home birth or b) a domino delivery - where they agree to let you out within 6 hours of the birth? I did the latter - you still go into hospital but it is agreed in advance it is for the minimum amount of time... A friend of mine has had 8 successful home births... not something I would fancy but something to consider?

Hi SavingH,

I would definitely consider a home birth if we lived in a house and owned it but would feel weird giving birth in a 3rd floor rented flat. Also the hospital is quite a bit away so if I did need a transfer then I would worry that it would take a while to get there. I like the idea of the domino delivery though, I would prefer to get home to my own bed asap.

I suppose these are things I could be discussing with my midwife but I haven't met her yet! It has been locums so far so I will be 30 weeks pregnant by the time I meet her. So much for building up a relationship....

clearmydebts

Cinny91 wrote: »

Hope you're feeling a little better this morning CMD. It really does sound quite unfair Good luck talking to your Boss today. Fingers crossed they get the message, it does seem really weird how they expect you to work. To me in your posts it just seems like you're horribly homesick. Keeping my fingers crossed your OH can change his hours and you'll be able to move home.

Hi Cinny,

I did feel better this morning as I went to see Bridesmaids last night. I went by myself as I fancied my own company and absolutely loved it. Best film I have seen in a long time.

I did speak to my boss this afternoon. She is just rubbish, when I express concerns she makes out like everyone else is doing a better job. In fact I have spoken to all the other girls that do my job and all of them are feeling stressed and overworked. She just doesn't want to hear it. And she must have said about 4 times 'I don't want you to think I am getting at you'..... Well she is 'getting at me' all the time.

Anyway - I told her not to text my personal mobile phone on my days off and she said she wouldn't. Then 1/2 an hour later a text from her came through on it??? !!!!!!???

I have a 1:1 with her next week and I know she will ask me how I am getting on. I think I will be honest and say I am demotivated because I feel like all the things I haven't done are constantly being pointed out, and never the positive things I have done.

Rant over :mad:

clearmydebts

Birdie85 wrote: »

I read through this yesterday and thought of nice things to say then forgot to actually say them!

I agree that you sound so homesick, it seems like a good interim plan for your OH to change his hours (fingers crossed he'll be allowed!) so you can go home where you belong.

With the job stuff, make it clear that you are part time, you can only do x amount of hours of work a week and that it is down to the management to prioritise what gets done. And that you shall be taking your lieu time shortly so that you don't lose it. I'd really annoy them and have to keep 'going to the doctor for pregnancy related issues' during work hours i.e. sneaking long lunches!

I like that Birdie - go home to where I belong. It sounds so right

I am going to request TOIL for next Friday when I go in tomorrow. I probably have worked up an extra 15 hours in the last 2 weeks.