It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

pagangirl

Hugs 365 - hope you not hurting too badly - still shakes you up tho. Hope things get better soon.

Ceridwen - what do you class as retirement age? I'm 57 this year, always assumed retirement would be 60, but government moved the goalposts, now my pension age is 63 1/2 - will get no state pension/pension credit before then coz I checked :mad::mad::mad: (and no guarantees they won't up the age range again). Not a happy bunny.

You cannot claim any JSA/Housing Benefit/Council Tax Benefit if you leave work voluntarily (and they would contact your employer to check), so I would have to have at least 3 1/2 years savings behind me if I want to finish at 60. :eek: (yeah, right, that's me screwed then)

All I can say is 'Good Luck', hope you manage it.

ceridwen

pagangirl wrote: »

Hugs 365 - hope you not hurting too badly - still shakes you up tho. Hope things get better soon.

Ceridwen - what do you class as retirement age? I'm 57 this year, always assumed retirement would be 60, but government moved the goalposts, now my pension age is 63 1/2 - will get no state pension/pension credit before then coz I checked :mad::mad::mad: (and no guarantees they won't up the age range again). Not a happy bunny.

You cannot claim any JSA/Housing Benefit/Council Tax Benefit if you leave work voluntarily (and they would contact your employer to check), so I would have to have at least 3 1/2 years savings behind me if I want to finish at 60. :eek: (yeah, right, that's me screwed then)

All I can say is 'Good Luck', hope you manage it.

As I understand the benefit rules - the DWP can disqualify people from benefit for "up to 6 months" if they are deemed to have left a job voluntarily. So - you wouldnt be disqualified for the full 3.5 years from 60 to 63.5 - just for the 6 months from 60 to 60.5 and then they would have to start paying you JSA/Housing Benefit/Council Tax Benefit from then on until you are deemed entitled to your pension at 63.5.

I think you would have to sign on and actively look for work - despite your age.

Could you get enough savings behind you to last you for that 6 months + 3 "waiting days" when benefit isn't payable anyway? (bearing in mind that the maximum amount of savings allowable before benefit starts being cut is £6,000).

So - there's several questions there:
1. Could you manage to live for 6 months 3 days on no more than £5,999?
2. Could you live for 3 years after that on just benefit level income?
3. Could you actually get together £5,999 savings before you get to 60?

v8monkeyboy

Morning all,

Feeling a bit down today. OH is away on a course until next weekend. Last night I checked both our bank accounts, and we have fallen below our threshold of what I consider to be the accceptable amount of money in the accounts. Then I saw he had withdrawn £60 to go out last night. On top of the £40 a few nights earlier.

I am so angry I could cry. I'm sat at home, trying not to spend any money now that he's bringing home so little, and I'm still waiting to hear back from jobs. I've got £10 in my purse which I'm trying to make last on food and fuel and he's spending like he's still bringing in the same amount of wages he was before. We simply can't sustain this level of spending.

It's not like he's 21 for god's sake! He's 33 nearly 34!!!!

mardatha

So many kids are being stomped on because insecure people need someone to feel superior to.
************
This is SO true and not only just kids. This seems to be endemic in this country today. And people need to bring it out in the open and shame the ones involved !

penelopedee_2

v8monkeyboy wrote: »

Morning all,

Feeling a bit down today. OH is away on a course until next weekend. Last night I checked both our bank accounts, and we have fallen below our threshold of what I consider to be the accceptable amount of money in the accounts. Then I saw he had withdrawn £60 to go out last night. On top of the £40 a few nights earlier.

I am so angry I could cry. I'm sat at home, trying not to spend any money now that he's bringing home so little, and I'm still waiting to hear back from jobs. I've got £10 in my purse which I'm trying to make last on food and fuel and he's spending like he's still bringing in the same amount of wages he was before. We simply can't sustain this level of spending.

It's not like he's 21 for god's sake! He's 33 nearly 34!!!!

Hugs. Don't let it get you down, you can only control your side of it. My DH isn't much better so now we have completely separate accounts and I give him pocket money for each week. He's ten years older than yours too! I thought he would complain about it and find it demeaning but he says he prefers it as he knows exactly what he can spend and when. It always gets spent though, never saved.

beingfrugal

My DH used to spend so much, I would ask him to bring some milk and find carrier bags of rubbish we didn't need come through the door too. It took a big financial disaster to wake him up. We're both extremely thrifty now, have to be. Point him to the direction of the Bankruptcy board, read their stories and hopefully he'll relise that anyone can 'go under' at any time.

Me? Lost my home, can't get any worse than that. Maybe your DH is just keeping up with everyone and doesn't want to appear 'skint' not right, but at least an explanation for his actions.

gailey_2

v8monkeyboy wrote: »

Morning all,

Feeling a bit down today. OH is away on a course until next weekend. Last night I checked both our bank accounts, and we have fallen below our threshold of what I consider to be the accceptable amount of money in the accounts. Then I saw he had withdrawn £60 to go out last night. On top of the £40 a few nights earlier.

I am so angry I could cry. I'm sat at home, trying not to spend any money now that he's bringing home so little, and I'm still waiting to hear back from jobs. I've got £10 in my purse which I'm trying to make last on food and fuel and he's spending like he's still bringing in the same amount of wages he was before. We simply can't sustain this level of spending.

It's not like he's 21 for god's sake! He's 33 nearly 34!!!!

Ahh sorry its bad whats he spending money on.
I only say that as hubby as trips away with work usually conferences and takes money out for service station and all the managers meet for drinks that night where hubby picks cheapest drinks, last trip he had to pay for own dinner upfront and claim later like travel .

When I went away in past for work sometimes it does cost some money.:mad:

Im lucky rarly goes out to pub with freinds maybe once every 3months. and spends less than tenner.

But I agree its been harder to get him into moneysaving mindset but hes been better over last year.

He does spend quite a bit on fags which I disagree with.
His misc spending used to be high as whenever he filled up with petrol he used to buy crisps, choc, pop.

Now he fills up in sainsburys and earns nectar points.
He takes packed lunch to work and squash in a bottle.

He still has wobbles in supermarket if he goes alone or with daughter and pester power.
A few times hes come back with not much meals stuff but donuts, biscuits, pop and crips.

We now shop mostly at lidls.he will look at reduced section now he wouldent before and I forced him to go foraging with me nothing better than free food, look round your way surprising whats about.

I think old style, money saving can take finetuning start gently and gradual then become more hardcore hubby thinks im crazy at times.

I have to nag him to switch and save money which bugs me.
I have to deal with xmas/birthdays.

But money wise we a team and these days speak honestly about or finances.

maybe when he gets back go through budget sheet.
check everythings realistic as I do grocery challange but overspend.
Discuss what money was spent on maybe in future give im misc pocket money or ask him to submit purchase plan for discussion, approval.

men like kids sometimes we just have to hope we taught them right so they can get by when we not with them.
:rotfl:
Busy day for me as kids part miles away debating walk or bus.
want to cook and freeze lots
some cleaning.


will update later when shattered.

Lindy_-_Loo

my OH is the same, last week asked him to get cheese in netto as it on offer for 69p, he spent £7 on pringles, nuts, cookies etc. Sometimes I think he forgets how we have a budget and only his wage - learnt my lesson, if you want something doing do it yourself!

we dont have pocket money as there isnt enugh available income for that but we do allow treats, a little a month.

gonna be a long day, 5 year on couch with a sick bowl, 3 year old hyper, complainnig he cant go to nannys, nanny wont come incase its a bug she doesnt want it and I have to pack for holiday! OH home 5.45 pm from work, 8.5hrs and counting...

beingfrugal

Lindy_-_Loo wrote: »

my OH is the same, last week asked him to get cheese in netto as it on offer for 69p, he spent £7 on pringles, nuts, cookies etc. Sometimes I think he forgets how we have a budget and only his wage - learnt my lesson, if you want something doing do it yourself!

we dont have pocket money as there isnt enugh available income for that but we do allow treats, a little a month.

gonna be a long day, 5 year on couch with a sick bowl, 3 year old hyper, complainnig he cant go to nannys, nanny wont come incase its a bug she doesnt want it and I have to pack for holiday! OH home 5.45 pm from work, 8.5hrs and counting...

Yip, I used to despair! We only have Dh's wage now as I stay home with my girls but we have a budget and a daily look at our account. We talk about what we spend, what we need, what's coming up etc and because of that we both know the ins and outs of our finances. Funnily enough though, we're much calmer, happier even for feeling in control

babyboysmommy

beingfrugal wrote: »

My DH used to spend so much, I would ask him to bring some milk and find carrier bags of rubbish we didn't need come through the door too.

Mine is the same. When we met he was in a lot of debt (just the mortgage now) & he still would spend beyond our means given the chance. I cut up all his credit cards, closed various accounts etc so he now had very little chance of spending anything! Even now, years later I don't ask him to go shopping unless I have absolutely no choice as he never sticks to the shopping list & will buy extras as a treat or because it was on offer. I've said many times it's not a bargain unless we really need it!

For us I have taken over complete control of our finances & whilst I thought he'd hate it he was happy to leave it to me. The fact his debt was paid back way quicker than he'd ever have hoped, we have all we need & a little of what we want helped. It did take time to win him over to OS living but he's reaping the rewards so apart from the odd slip up & he's on board. It's not been an easy ride getting to this point but was well worth the battles in order to win the war I have never spent beyond my means, hate being in debt & the day the mortgage is paid off will be one I'll celebrate so our attitude to money was radically different when we met but I proved more stubborn than him :rotfl: