It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

ginnyknit

SmileyT good luck with the competition, you must post some pics of your garden when it wins!

Silver charming I believe that everyone deserves a chance in life and Im damn sure it wasn't your choice to be in care. How sad that people still judge others by their misconceptions. I have worked with poeple on community service for many years and when I tell people I have done 4000 hours they think Im crazy. I met some lovely people who made mistakes and treated them with the respect I treat everyone with, I was paid back in kindness and thoughfulness. I strongly believe the saying 'there but for the grace of god go I' and also - 'what goes around comes around!'

kidcat

With regard to uniforms, I found my kids primary school uniform suplier to be dreadful quality so took the logo into a much better supplier and buy from them, it works out cheaper and much better value than the official supplier. High school I buy a badge and sew it onto a M&S blazer and again buy the PE kit from my alternate supplier. The PE kit is exorbitant cost though £60 upwards for a full kit boys/girls.

JayJay14

Ceridwen - re the mortgage.

As far as I can tell you can only get housing benefit if you pay rent, not with a mortgage (I may be wrong ) and this is how you get help now, not through the old DHSS type of claim where they added the mortgage interest on to your money. When I clicked through on the website for what to do if you have a mortgage it just seemed to say 'go to your mortgage provider for advice' - doh.

I work full time so OH cannot get income assessed job seekers, even though my income is barely enough to cover the housing payments let alone food and utilities. The only thing I can see we would qualify for is Council tax benefit. Still if we have to downsize we have a lot of stuff to sell.

Silvercharming - thank you for your post, I can't believe that teacher, it makes my blood boil. We have neighbours who have stopped telling schoolfriends parents that their children are adopted, because there have been some who have made their kids stop playing with them because of it. You just have to wonder at the mentality of people who think that sort of behavoir is acceptable.

Larumbelle

Thanks Ginny & Esther. Regards that teacher, what kept me going every time things got really tough was proving him wrong - and my father - and everyone else who said I couldn't do it (which was almost everyone). I don't recommend doing a degree course purely out of stubbornness though lol.

In those days (only 1997, but thankfully things have changed now)social services were allowed to disown you as soon as you turned sixteen and if you were in education you couldn't get any benefits. I got 10 A's at GCSE but was told to drop out and get a job or go on social security. When I said about getting an education they said I could do an evening course. So I ended up doing a succession of any job that would have me to support myself, but I had to fight a bit even to be allowed to do sixth form - I think they were wary of me having no bounderies! s it happens the people who were most supportive were teachers, just not Mr Seymour lol. There were a couple who crashed me food and bus fares to keep me from dropping out, turned a blind eye when I cut class to work, turned up to bring me back everytime I dropped out, dealt with social workers for me... I owe some of my teachers so much.

wigglebeena

silvercharming wrote: »

And in sixth form when I was applying for uni one of my teacher told me not to bother applying to his old uni as they wouldn't let people like me in. Then said that only a handful of kids from care made it through university each year and what on earth made me think that I could be one of them?

That's crummy behaviour. Bit of an insecure snob, was he?

Larumbelle

wigglebeena wrote: »

That's crummy behaviour. Bit of an insecure snob, was he?

Absolutely! As it goes, his uni did offer me a place but I turned them down and went somewhere better

When I actually went to uni it worked the other way and some people muttered I'd got my place because of 'quotas'. Not the ten GCSEs or 5 A Levels or academic achievement, of course.

gailey_2

Do wonder in life why people so judgemental, middleclasses seem to label anyone working class or on estate as a chav.

I remember watching secret millionaire and sometimes people into bad way and its not their fault.

Credit crunch hit banks but seem to be ordinary people who are suffering.

I went to uni despite my mums negativity that should get a job but jobs rubbish in hometown and 90percent part time.

I think there are cases in paper, tv or sometimes people we know that milk system but most are hardworking, do want to work and support their family.

Losing a job can devestate familes as gives people a purpose, pride, income and confidence/social no one ever seems to think about the other benefits of being in employment.

Since I stayed at home with kids I do miss not working was such a big part of my life.

well not done as much as I wanted today but will keep going and hopefully by bedtime few meals will be batched cooked, kids bathed and asleep at reasonable time, hubbys dinner on table at 9m and downstairs tidy.
Today last day so now officially summer hols.
Got stepson sunday for whole week so not sure how much canb achieve with 3kids.
Im trying to batchcook all my meat and fresh this weekend so next weeks meals just freezer to microwave and need to go posting leaflets but hubbys week off which be good and bad.

mary-op

Originally Posted by silvercharming
And in sixth form when I was applying for uni one of my teacher told me not to bother applying to his old uni as they wouldn't let people like me in. Then said that only a handful of kids from care made it through university each year and what on earth made me think that I could be one of them?

There's no accounting for the ignorance of some people is there. I'm a foster carer for teenagers and a lot of them do have problems with formal education but a lot also go on to university .......if they don't -well so what! My kids didn't and one is now a tutor at an art college....the other works in a factory but he's happy with his young family and to me thats what counts.
The kids we've cared for often come back or phone and let us know how they're doing........I'm proud of them no matter what. To me its how they turn out as 'people' -not what qualifications they may or may not have.

Best wishes to you and I'm so pleased things have turned out well for you x

ceridwen

silvercharming wrote: »

Here you go

Terence Blacker

Cut and paste it into your post and I'll delete this one

Thanks for that...errr....would you believe I never learned how to cut and paste?:) - so I'll leave your post up if you don't mind:)

ceridwen

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

We own our house and consider ourselves extremely fortunate to have been in a position to buy, we bought a house that needed a lot of work for a good price 3yr ago. However we are considered as 'stuck up' amongst some of my so-called friends, as they all rent but we have never ever made a big deal of owning, we used to rent, theres no shame in it.

Kate xx

:cool: You mean they're jealous then......:cool:

I bet they would buy themselves as quick as a wink if they had the money to...."With friends like that who needs enemies?" is the phrase I am thinking of here...

Real friends would congratulate you and be pleased for you that you had managed to do so - and admit that they were just a tad jealous, as they hadnt been able to yet or couldnt think of a way to do so ever. Real friends are happy about any achievements we manage to make....but you know that anyway...:)