It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

ceridwen

I know where you are coming from RAS - the "kids just happen" argument - you wouldnt believe we live in the 21st Century would you?:cool:. To me/you/most people its blindingly obvious that one CHOOSES to have children or if the inexplicable happens and there really honestly IS an "accident" that you decide to proceed with - then you recognise your responsibilities and knuckle to and "do the best you can". You recognise that, having had the child, then you are responsible with a capital R and get on with making sure that things are right for the child and you "make like a parent" bigtime and ensure that their needs are dealt with and (without turning them into "spoilt brats") that you put their needs first and ensure they get what they need.

In the end - and maybe many years down the line - that child will sit there and think "Okay - I know very well I wasnt planned - BUT they did what they could for me and tried to be good parents" and in the end you come to respect/love them for the fact that they understood their responsibilities and got on with it.

I do find it very difficult personally to understand why anyone wouldnt sit down and think "If I get pregnant - then I am responsible for someone for the next 22 years" (ie 18 years + gap year + 3 years at University potentially). Its a LONG time to have to put someone else first...

parsonswife8

RE the headlice problem.. saturate the child's hair in cheap hair condtioner for about 10 minutes, then comb through with a fine tooth comb.
Repeat a couple of times over a few days.
Also use tea tree oil shampoo, which I have bought in Netto before for around a quid.
And just comb, comb, comb.
Drown the little beasts.
:eek:

gailey_2

Evening guys hope everyone ok.

Cold today but not as cold as yesterday.

did mini shop in co-op just basics on offer.
got whole chicken to roast as doing huge batch pasties tommorow and maybe roast again as whole chicken was 3quid.

nearly fell asleep this afternoon during ed millibands speech dont find him that inspiring almost feel sorry for david and dont even like the bloke.

Can someone explain something to me as this is why im stumped.

if coalition have 5year term
they committed to erasing defecit so wont be one in 5years time.
why are labour discussing defecit plan for election in 5years time?
bit late unless they think they win and start whole new defecit.
The interest on the debt 64billion does scare me somewhat.Just seems so wasteful.
so does all the schools and new shiny hospitals built with ppi which will cost twice over 20years!

Feel so sorry for kids who dont have brekkie my 2 have cereal and peice of toast.

ohh just in case anyone a kellogs fan we are have tried cheaper brands but on back on packs collect 3tokens get fee box of cereal.

Daughter has apple as morning snack in school.
school dinners guess least low income get free dinners im seriously contemplating packed lunch as school dinner for 1 32quid a month.
they get free milk and fruit in afternoon until their 5th birthday.
which baffles me when half class is 5 and half is 4.

There was nits in preschool daughter dident get them brought teatree shampoo and condition for pound a bottle in co-op chemist.Also ensured her hair tied back.

Was planiing early nite but rubbish still up least kids asleep.

parsonswife8

Take care and look after yourself Gailey.(((hugs))):)

Charis

ceridwen wrote: »

I do find it very difficult personally to understand why anyone wouldnt sit down and think "If I get pregnant - then I am responsible for someone for the next 22 years" (ie 18 years + gap year + 3 years at University potentially). Its a LONG time to have to put someone else first...

It's the last thing you think of when you're young and in love. A lot of those young mums haven't a clue how to look after themselves, let alone a baby. Far too many youngsters aren't encouraged to grow up while they are still under their parents' roof. If you don't give them responsibilities when they are teenagers, they don't magically become adults on their 18th birthday.

JulieGeorgiana

Lindy_-_Loo wrote: »

We had another headlice letter today, the mum who I do toast with has 3 kids at school and the three of them came home yeaterday with them. Ive never seen headlice so was grilling her - the lotion she bought was £10 for a large bottle and this does her and the children (plus OH when it a wkend as he works away) for just one treatment, has to buy another bottle to re treat in seven days time. Shocked at the price!

I HATE headlice!! Give me the creaps!!

My son used to get them ALL the time at Nursery. 3 times in a matter of months because some parents couldn't be bothered to even check when the letter went out so her son was re-infecting all the kids in the class... by the time they found it he was riddled!!!!

I was told about Tea Tree Shampoo (65p from Mr T, or Mrs and it a HUGE bottle... I use it on my son ALL the time... he washes his hair... out comes the bottle....!

3 year later he was still free of lice... after multiple outbreaks! Then we ran out... and my son used my shampoo... after a month or so... he got LICE!!!!

After treatment we put him back on Tea Tree... he's been on it 2 years again... and yet again... NO LICE!!

Tea Tree is a GREAT preventative! It's Cheap too!

And my sons Exceema doesn't mind it either!

Ada_Doom

Re the whole neglectful parent thing, I don't believe people go into parenthood aiming to be bad parents but as jackieglasgow says some people dont have the resources or the ability to know how to parent. Also, thro poor mental health, addictions etc sometimes being a good parent is not possile and thats when outside agencies have to step in and provide support. If you have been lucky enough to have had a "decent" childhood yourself it can be difficult to understand the choas of other peoples lives, and what a struggle it can be to be a good parent yourself.

ceridwen

Whew...well on different topic...emails have been flying between me and the firm that I bought my expensive new computer desk from. I had a phonecall today from the firm saying "We want our customers to be happy" (that makes a change for a firm.......) so it will just take 5 minutes twiddling for you to do this/that/this to get the desk operational - but if you cant then we will pay for a local handyman to get it operational for you". Musta been 1.5-2 frustrating hours later trying to do that "5 minutes twiddling" they said and its only halfway to "ready to use". So I've sent an email back to the firm saying "I cant manage it/a woman cant manage it - can I have it in writing please that you will pay a "little man" to do it and I will book up with one to do so".........

Frustration again....I think the firm I got the desk from is trying to help and its just as well that they agreed I can pay a little handyman to finish this off - but I do wish, yet again, that firms understood that rather "feminine" type woman (ie totally unused to/useless at typically "masculine" type skills) simply cant manage a lot of the DIY tasks men usually do and stopped expecting that we would "finish a job off for us".....I could go on about workmen who do work on our homes and expect to treat us as idiots and that we will put up with bodge jobs on our homes (because we would be even worse than them at doing these things)....but then it isnt OUR job...it IS their job....dont get me started....:mad:

When I set up home on my own originally it was still largely career women with good incomes who were trying to do this it seemed - so, as someone who falls into the "doing a job very reluctantly - and not getting paid much for it" bracket it has certainly not proven easy to deal with firms over the years - with neither husband nor a good salary available to sort things out. Who would be a forerunner if they could help it?....

Okay....rant over for the day....I'm for an early night.....

elona

We found that a big dollup of tea tree shampoo squeezed into a disposable cup, then 20 drops of tea tree essential oils added to it.

Mix that into wet hair, work into lather, put shower cap or cling film around head, wait 20 mins then rinse off and comb through hair with nit comb. Do this once a week for three weeks and all nasties will be gone.

Cheaper than chemicals and less unpleasant ( does a good job on dandruff too);)

It worked better than a couple of expensive over the counter treatments and was less embarrassing for family to ask for and use.

stiltwalker

Not looking forward to the whole nits thing when my DD gets to nursery, just thinking about them makes me itch. Thanks to all those tea tree suggestions I'll have to get some.

Had a very productive evening, finished off the apple and rosehip jelly I started last night from Dad's windfalls and foraged hips. Made damson jam with damson's picked from my old work, giving old boss jar of jam in return! Made mixed fruit chutney with the rest of the damsons, cheapy pears from Mr T and more of Dad's windfalls. My cupboard is filling up nicely with goodies to see us throught the winter and things to put in Christmas hampers, only problem is now will have to go and get more jars from our local swedish store!