It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

flowertotmum

Hi i am shocked at this "pay for food" at a wedding...my dd is getting married in 2 yrs..she has booked it all..very nice local hotel and having the "grand wedding for a grand" all they have to pay for extra is the cake and invites...obviously her dress and his suit but thats it..she even gets a wedding co-ordinator..she has her dress already from ebay and its lovely..they even get the honeymoon suite for the night and breakfast in bed the next morning...not bad..they are saving up and doing well..she has already paid half of it so no stress and no pay as you eat buffet in sight..think its awful..if funds are that tight why not go to the registry office and have a shindig later at a nice pub,buffet and toast...or as someone said its keeping up with the joneses with weddings these days...
Good news..hubby has got job interview on the 4th of october ...fingers crossed...
take care
all...

bluebag

flowertomum. Good luck to OH with the job interview. I used to do 'practice' interviews with Mr bb before a real one, I used to find out about the company beforehand too, so he couldn't waffle.LOL

Lindy_-_Loo

Our months shopping challenge finishes this weekend as we have saved doing a big monlthy online shop I went to the butchers earlier to get more meat as we had money left over like last month. Went with enough to get what needed and he had put the prices up by enough to mean I couldnt get as much as I wanted to freeze. Gutted, but proud I didnt go the cash point and draw out cash!

I know prices will go up everywhere but were ot close to a supermarket and getting beef of any description thru online shopping has never worked as its always poor quality. Oh well, OH gonna break down what I got and see how much we get out of it.

Its my mums birthday next week and were trying to think of a way to distract her from the fact as its her first birthday since dad died, one sister has taken the day of work but any planning seems to have landed onto me - again...

BB1984

Haven't been on here for over a week as been away for a few days then crazy busy at work. So much to catch up on!

Have had a very non-OS day today as my OH is away for the weekend so I treated myself to a takeaway for tea...! Naughty me. However, there's loads left so that's at least one more dinner!

I've got a very cheap weekend lined up as I'm planning to lock myself away and get on with my work for two solid days! Boring, but it's got to be done. Might go and have a cuddle with my friend's new-born baby if I get too fed up

It was my birthday the other day and I've got some Next vouchers to spend, which is exciting as my New Year's Resolution this year was not to buy any new clothes. I've managed so far, but could really do with a couple of bits for work, so I figure that buying them with the vouchers doesn't count! I also was given £35 cash, so I'm trying to decide whether to buy some new work shoes, a pressure cooker or a bird feeding station with that...

Must try and get to asda at some point to do a big shop - I would do it online but I want to buy some of their fleece blankets and some other bits, which you can't buy as part of a grocery shop online. I want to line our bedroom and lounge curtains with the blankets, as our windows aren't great and last winter I could feel a draft coming from them.

Right, I'm off to watch Gardener's World, nighty night!

BB

Butterfly_Brain

narabanekeater wrote: »

The postie has just brought a wedding invite to one of my friends weddings for us. I thought she was having a child free day which put us in a weird position as we have nobody to have our 2 children but they are named on the invite. The wedding and afterwards are at a posh local hotel and weve been asked to pay for all of our own food and drink. On top of this DS will need a new outfit as all he has is normal clothes for a 2 year old. I can borrow a dress for DD but myself and DH have lost a lot of weight so have nothing to wear either. When you add a gift to these costs were in trouble

narabanekeater wrote: »

She never mentioned the idea of everyone paying for themselves before. My 2 children will be the only 2 there so keeping them quiet is going to be hard.
These are 2 of my best mates as well getting wed.
Four meals in the day and then food at the night (I guess we could eat before we go) but again drinks at night in this posh hotel really is going to cost quite a bit
Ive already said we cannot go to the combined hen and stag do. Theyve hired caravans 350 miles away and want us to go for the week. Erm hello we have 2 children, she asked me to get a friend to look after them for a week (im not joking) I just know DD is going to be upset at not being asked to be bridesmaid as well. She was going to be a bridesmaid this year but the couple split up.
Oh dear OH will be cross

All I can say is how bloody selfish and so up themselves they are being :mad::mad::mad::mad:

I would not go to a wedding where I had to pay for my own food. I never accepted invitations to any do that my kids could not go to.

When we were married 23 years ago on Sunday We had no option but to pay for our own wedding My Dad had died less than a year before and I was made redundant the month before but we managed, we got everything from Bejam (Much better than Iceland) Family and friends all cooked it up and delivered it too MIL who set all the buffet up in a local factory canteen, A friend made the wedding cake as a present (She did cakes professionally) it was beautiful. A local Pub did the bar and FIL put £200 behind the bar then everyone had to pay for their drinks when that ran out, plus we had wine on the tables. Another friend who was a DJ did the disco and another friend who owned a taxi company supplied the car again as a wedding present.
It was a fantastic day and everyone had a brilliant time and we were so lucky to have such amazing people to help us.

In contrast My Niece was married 2 years ago and it cost my sister £25,000 :eek: that was my first mortgage exactly. The marriage was on the rocks within 10 months.

In the same year my DD's best friend was married and she was in the same position as we were, this time I made the cake and we all rallied round making food, decorations etc, she hired the local football club hall and it again was a brilliant wedding.

I would much rather go to a make do and mend wedding than a posh expensive do anytime at least the people are genuine and you can have a good time without worrying what everyone thinks of you.

charlies-aunt

Pitlanepiglet wrote: »

Hi all, I haven't posted for a while but I've been lurking. .

Hi Pitlanepiglet! Long time, no posts! but really nice to see you back on here

We had a budget wedding back in 1984 . . . register office do with off the peg outfits for us both, no bridesmaids - for the close family (approx 40) we had a buffet (sausage rolls, prawn vol au vents, cheese & pineapple, sandwiches etc) in a local bistro (it was the 80's!) with a homemade single tier wedding cake, a schooner of sherry on arrival and (non-vintage, bog standard) sparkling wine throughout the afternoon, followed by a jolly evening knees-up for 200 friends/colleagues/children/neighbours at a pub with a buffet and a disco...my dad bought everyone a drink on arrival and then it was buy-your-own. . . . very cheap and cheerful but a good time was had by all --the evening finished off at 2am with a big, slightly drunken, improptu singsong session.

Happy days

bluebag

Just told Mr bb about the PAYG wedding, his take on it?.....'flippin' cheapskates!.'

charlies-aunt

Butterfly_Brain wrote: »

I would much rather go to a make do and mend wedding than a posh expensive do anytime at least the people are genuine and you can have a good time without worrying what everyone thinks of you.

Being a natural scruff - I hate getting done up like a dogs dinner so I look the part at a showy wedding - much more fun when its relaxed

gailey_2

BB1984 Happy belated birthday.

Last year we declined a wedding invite from one of hubbys long term mates from school.

we had good excuse as due date and wedding invite said no kids!
We had 1 and 1 possibly on way and couldent leave a newborn with mum overnite was so far from home as we bristol and wedding in southwest wales that would have meant overnite in fancy rural hotel.

I declined the hennite was over 100quid and dident know the bride that well
her future sisterinlawas were seethat expense as everyone paid more so bride and her maid of honour could go for free.

Hubby declined invite but knock at door it was groom handing me fancy invitation by hand. I said im sorry did you not know but just incase we changed our mind.
There was no gift registry they asked for money we got them nothing as thourght it was crass.
Hubby did not attend fancy stag do that was meant to be scotkand during fringe but turned out to be strip club,meal and drinks down town.

They technoically excluded 3long term mates with kids or kids on way from attending,
bride paid for all her familys outfits and accomodation, groom had to pay their own caused lot of bad feeling as the couple to be had combined income of 150grand!

Thankfully they went on long luxurious honeymoon and missed another freind in groups wedding 2weeks later.

Was lovley near bath, kids were welcome, lovley meal, and buffet.
Took 2 week old newborn who slept in pram all day, eldest loved it as other kids there.
We dident stay for evening as was long day but was lovley and down to eart was first to get on jl gift list and buy them a pressie.

I think other couple in huff about it but their own fault thankfully not seen them since.

we had our wedding in southwales as was where most of my family and freinds are plus cheaper.

we paid accomodation of groomsman and bridesmaids.
brought them all pressies.
hired the mens outfits and paid for barber
brought the bridesmaids outfots from debenehams paid for makeup and hair.

we were touched how many workmates came all way from wiltshire.
we did gift list and debs chose lots of cheap things,
we also enclosed lots of accomadation cheap bbs and bs to fancy hotels and chepest most direct way to get there.

ceremeony was in registry office
family freind did car cheap
family freind was dj cheap
found cheap photograher.
went top valleys for our flowers.
My dress was 100quid from debenhams sale.
Brought invites from clintons.

I wouldent change a thing whole thing cost less than 5grand and freinds family still talk about it now.
We had lovley surorise from cousin totally unexpected a honeymoon 3days in paris as thourght we would skip honeymoon as was worried about mounting costs.

Im shattered as took bus miles way to take eldest to cheerleading as her lift wasent going tonbight got back at 7pm is frezing out.

made cajun chicken drumsticks so tasty just reduced drumsticks, oil and swartz cajun mix on top roast for half and hour might have to eat last 2.

Right got busy day tommorow with nct sale and town so off to bed early.

EstherH

narabanekeater wrote: »

Gailey - The pta at our school is crying out for new members. Im sure they will make you very welcome and youll have valuables skills to share with them. I wish you lived near me not only to snap you up for our PTA but as weve similar ages children and 'ways' IYKWIM
Ive just had a called from another shocked friend its £45 for each adult so £90 and £30 for both children then plus drinks
This really has put us in a difficult position. Certainly no family holiday for us next year

I haven't had time to read through the rest of the thread, but had to write to say that even if they are your best friends, maybe you should consider just going to the ceremony and missing the reception. If they had said from the start that they couldn't afford to pay for the meal then that may have been a different matter but to choose somewhere that is £45 a head and expect you to pay is totally unfair and your family holiday is more important than your 'friends' wedding surely. Don't feel obligated to go. I realise that you probably want to share their day but they should have at least chosen somewhere cheaper. A local Toby Carvery or Beefeater for close friends would be more meaningful than having a lot of resentful people at a 'posh do'. Hope I don't sound too hard, as I say I haven't read what others are saying yet. Hope I haven't offended you.