It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

ceridwen

Alison_Funnell wrote: »

We were skint and I paid for our tiny wedding. 4 people plus us, £250 reg office, home made bouquet, got my outfit from an outlet centre for £50. Had a meal in a pub afterwards - no hassles, cosy, fun and no giant bills.

DD is nearly 21 and I have told her to do the same if she and her b/f marry. I'd rather have fun at McDs than go to a posh do anyday. They are lovely but no one ever seems to really let their hair down and have fun.

errrm...judging by the reports I've had of the weddings of the wealthy members of my extended family - they're not designed to be "let your hair down" occasions - not with business associates and the like invited as well as family. The comment from my mother was "Just as well you didnt go to the last one - you'd have been spending the entire time going 'that cost thousands' and 'that also cost thousands', throughout....". I think part of the point of these weddings is "networking".

My family don't do "let your hair down" type social occasions though - so I either dont go or slap a smile on my face and chat politely to the less "formal" members until I can escape..

Personally - the wedding celebration I recall was when I got invited to the evening "do" held by a son of a friend of mine when he married his girlfriend. It was just in a hall and I was surprised to note everyone was in very everyday type clothes (thank goodness I'd not done "formal" dressing...whew!) - but though it was just a disco there was LOADS of food on a buffet table that people had made and we all had a good time.

(NB: If I meet the "man of my dreams" after all this time...yeh and pigs might fly...then it'll probably be held somewhere in the countryside..in a field or on a hill or summat with a ceilidh group and "bring food to share"). Doesnt come much cheaper than that..)

MummyOfTwo

pay for your own food? tacky!!! shows them to be having a day they can barely afford. politely decline my dear:o

me and my friend were discussing this the other day as she is planning her wedding for next year. we thought an outdoorsy wedding with entertainment would be lovely, with people bringing a picnic for themselves!!! her partner wouldnt go for it, hes a massive foody, but we thought it would be very cool indeed!

sammy_kaye18

Morning all

(I wasnt cut off after all!)

Reading all these wedding stories is even more of a reason why I dont want to get married, plus the fact my parents had a horribly messy divorce and its scarred me adn the idea of a wedding for life! :eek: although my dad ran off to gretna green with my step mum, got married in private, just the two of them and told everyone else the next day either with a phone call or post card! soem people hit the roof about not being there (my sister mainly and they haven't spoken since) but Im happy, she makes him happy and thats what matters. If ever I was going to get married I'd want something similar - I keep joking at a Vegas chaple wedding but think I'd fear for my life when I got back - from my dad, nan and Owens mum! (her daughter ran off to Cuba to marry so she didn't see the wedding and was instead left with her 3 kids for 3 weeks! ).

Anyway - bit of good news. Seems Santander over charged me - my account for my DFS sofas are with them - they charged me a fee of £15 when it should of been £12 - so they have credited my account which is nice.

Owen was actually paid £700 instead of the £650 we thought he was getting so he should be ok for petrol for the month on the bike

BUT....................

He went to see his mum and dad after work yesterday as he was considering selling his motocross bike to pay for xmas - im against it though as he loves that bike and its the only hobby he has - plus it keeps him happy and he hasn't had a grump on since hes had it (its his social life basically) and he works bloody hard. Anywho his dad was talking to him about having his mums car for the weekend to go and pick his other son up etc and his dad turned to him and said 'I have a credit card, its empty, go find a car, let me know and you make the monthly card repayments'. so he was scouring the internet last night for a good deal.

So we have had a few little bits of luck the last few days.................................................

although me and holly are still full of bloody cold!

ceridwen

Wondered if you were still around Sammy...

Ohforgoodnesssake to Owen's father making that "kind" offer - you've got less of a temper than I have that you didnt "fly at" Owen for accepting it - I certainly would have done so.....

Do take care pet...

Alison_Funnell

ceridwen wrote: »

errrm...judging by the reports I've had of the weddings of the wealthy members of my extended family - they're not designed to be "let your hair down" occasions - not with business associates and the like

Yep been to those sorts of do's too. Such a shame, people to busy out doing others and only talking to the 'right' people to remember why they're there, to celebrate a couple commiting to each other.

My favourite wedding was OHs cousins. They hired a local swimming pool (one with slides and beach effect - it was cheaper than a hotel!) and had a buffet in the cafe area. In the heat of summer it was fantastic and great fun.

ceridwen

Ahem....back with the "When times get tough" theme of this thread - I've just found a blog post that might give peeps some ideas re assembling a basic first aid kit (casaulties for the use of - where there are casualty departments not open nearby):

http://simple-green-frugal-co-op.blogspot.com/2010/09/assembling-1st-aid-or-emergency-kit.html

ceridwen

Reet...my computer just threw me out and went haywire - again!. Back to add:

http://www.hesperian.org/publications_download.php

Check it out for free online books re healthcare (in the section "English titles for download"). They have been written initially for people "on duty" in 3rd World Countries.....ummm...decides to say nowt at this point....;)

Specifically - the ebook "Where there is no doctor". There are other useful free ebooks there too - eg "Where there is no dentist".

My suggestion would be that anyone who has a computer printer print off a copy of the "Where there is no doctor" book.

soozywooz

Kitcaboodle wrote: »

My attitude about weddings (including my own!) is that, it should be the marriage that is most important, not the 'big day'!

For me the most important thing was to marry my husband. The second most important was to share that with our friends and close family. We did it all on a budget but many people commented on what a lovely, warm atmosphere it was & that made it a wonderful day for us.

I couldn't agree more - we couldn't afford much at all - we had no bridesmaids, no big dress, no hire car, the flowers were a wedding gift from one friend, another friends made our cake and another sang for us during the service. We had about 15 of our closest friends/family to OHs parents house (just a standard semi) and my mil and a couple of her friends had made some food for us. We had a cheap honeymoon in a cottage in Cornwall and had a lovely low stress day and no debt afterwards.

if I was doing it again now I'd like a bigger day - but I'd ask everyone to come to large village hall reception and bring a plate of something yummy instead of a wedding gift. Sharing the time with friends and family is more important than having a flash day.

BB1984

gailey wrote: »

BB1984 Happy belated birthday.

Aw thanks!

I'm very much procrastinating from doing my work at the moment, so this will be a quickie then I AM going to get going - shout at me if you "see" me again before this evening!

Quick comment about weddings - I agree that you should politely decline the invite to the reception. I know it's hard as they're good friends of yours, but equally they should understand your situation. Personally I believe that people should have whatever kind of wedding they want - but if they choose something that's going to cost other people lots of money, they can't be surprised/offended if people can't attend. In this case, they clearly can't afford the kind of wedding that THEY want!

I loved everything about my wedding It wasn't as cheap and cheerful as some, but it was definitely one of the less expensive ones that I've been to! It was in a barn, friends/sister formed a band to play our favourite songs, we had a hog roast, I made all the decorations (bunting, mostly!), flowers were from my Nan's and neighbour's gardens, and a friend of the family made my dress. Everyone had a brilliant time, and so many of my friends have said they'd like to do something similar for their weddings! :T

Two loads of washing done, cat food bought, and been to the gym so far this morning....and now I AM starting my work!

Bye bye - have a nice day y'all!

BB

seasalt_2

That's really useful info ceridwen and a timely reminder that I must update my first aid kit. Things have got used and not replaced - not so easy just to nip out and buy replacements here - but must make a list and either get stuff online or next mainland visit.

Agree with what everyone else says about weddings. Have become ludicrously expensive for couple and guests. I have had two, both very low key and home made, the second one we just sloped off and did it without telling anyone then had impromptu party afterwards as the news got out! OH says he will pay our daughters to elope! Do what you feel comfortable with.