It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

rosieben

narabanekeater wrote: »

... The wedding and afterwards are at a posh local hotel and weve been asked to pay for all of our own food and drink. ...

I've never heard of this and I would be really insulted to get that kind of invitation. Its total selfishness as someone said, they want a big flash wedding but expect everyone else to pay for it!

katiegizmo

debtdesperado wrote: »

Just read katiegizmo's post.. I am SO over expensive wedding extravaganzas...

No, I don't want to waste any of my precious holiday from work going on hen nights or attending weddins.

No, I don't want to waste whole weekends, involving lots of complex and expensive travel arrangements, taxis, hotel rooms etc.

I'm thrilled for you both... but I'm not THAT thrilled. What happened to the days when a nice day, in a local venue, with the food and drink catered (and therefore paid for by the bride and groom), with a modest wedding list of essentials that would be most appreciated, was sufficient?

Since when does everyone need to pretend they are a princess in a real life castle? Ridiculous!

My thoughts exactly!!! (by the way we have said no to 3 weddings this year so I'm not scared to say no! OH is more worried about how we look than I am I think, plus his set of friends is much more well off than my set... typical!)

My wedding was about me+him=love=wedding and that was the point of the day. Given the choice of not having a wedding or not having a marriage, well the wedding would be out that window faster than anyone can say I do!!! I don't get this having to have a big show-off wedding, hen, stag etc etc

one wedding we went to, we were asked to participate in a pre-weddding evening meal, a post wedding brunch the following day plus activities - an art museum and an garden park. Dinner was £30 a head without drinks, brekkie was £8 a head, entrance to parks were £11 and £13 respectively - an extra £124 (no drinks) to the usual; wedding costs. Needless to say we did our own thing... and got several emails from friends asking if we were 'alright' as we werent being social!!! more grrrrr!

grandma247

kitcaboodle have you ever considered elimination comunication?
http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/elimination-communication.html

Kitcaboodle

grandma247 wrote: »

kitcaboodle have you ever considered elimination comunication?
http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/elimination-communication.html

Yep thanks, that's something I've considered maybe doing when he's a bit older. He's only 4 1/2 months at the moment but I might start giving it a try from about a year onwards as a pre-runner to potty training.

When it comes to weddings, we had ours at the local registry office and then had a reception at a local pub. We had to ask people to buy their own drinks but we put on a huge spread of a buffet. Worked out about £300 for 100 people but, as we did it all ourselves with stuff from Tesco, we had an amazing array of stuff that you would never get for a £3 a head catered buffet.

Plus we took away four boxes of left-over food that we ate over the next few months and left another four for the landlords of the pub as they were so lovely and were having an anniversary party in a few days time.

Pitlanepiglet

Hi all, I haven't posted for a while but I've been lurking. I'm also horrified by the "pay for your own expensive wedding meal", we had a budget wedding but made sure that we saved elsewhere (clothing by ebay!) to make sure that we could provide food and drink for our guests, plus we DIY'd a lot of the food in our local village hall.

Oddly, I'd be happy to pay for my meal at a wedding if it was in a local pub or restaurant and I knew that the bride and groom were skint. However the idea of paying loads so that they can have a swanky wedding is outrageous! I don't like weddings at swanky, expensive venues anyway - it always ends up costing a fortune to buy a couple of drinks.

I wouldn't do and I would be fairly upfront about the fact that it was because I didn't want to spend that much money on one day.

redlady_1

The trouble is with weddings, there is too much of the keep up with the Joneses and lets be honest, the statistics speak for themselves ref divorce. Just remember, they will be in masses of debt at the end of this all to try and outdo the next person. I think people have forgotten why they get married in the first place to be honest. I also think that more and more people are fed up at having to fork out money for all the "extra" stuff too.

kidcat

Just popping on to say there is no way i would be paying for food at a wedding, it would be the same as me inviting people for dinner and then charging them in my mind!!

If your OH really feels it important, maybe just attend the actual ceremony (after all its the important bit ) or maybe just one of you attend (could say one needs to stay with kids as you are not comfortable taking them to such a big event - can big up how concerned you are not to have their day ruined etc)

bluebag

Just been out to bring my washing in and it's nearly dry, after the deluge we had yesterday I am relieved. One less TD day.


Just been in the cellar (ugh! spiders!!!!)to read the gas and electric as I'm expecting the annual bill shortly, really wish I hadn't done that, it has been such a nice day 'till then.

I expect the combined bill to be about £1100. Argghhh! Got to cut that down a bit this year, praying for a milder winter, last years' was a bit of an ordeal.

ceridwen

Frugal wrote: »

OMG Closing a hospital... That is bad news. Its bad enough here where our nearest one won't XRay children so we have to take them much further but a real emergency, I am sure they treat... I feel like I should check now

As for the quangos.. well I am no expert whatsoever in this field but can't help feeling that some of those groups shouldn't be government funded anyway. So if they can make savings there then good... But as I say, I am no expert and I suppose this could have a knock on effect...

What do you think Ceridwen?

It's always worthwhile for people to "keep a handle" on where they would go/what they would do in the event of emergency. I've only got myself to think of - but actually I think it would be well worthwhile for any parents to get themselves sorted out with a St Johns Ambulance or similar type first aid course under their belt. Would mean you could deal with minor incidents to your children and their friends personally:)

Re the quangos - I've read the full list in the "Daily Telegraph" now and, at a quick glance, agree with the ones they are keeping. But I have reservations about some of those they are planning to abolish. I see that one example of those they are planning on abolishing, for instance, is the Government Hospitality Advisory Committee on the Purchase of Wine.....errr....they ARE kidding arent they that one like that even exists in the first place??? So that one is an obvious - and uncontroversial (except to the staff involved) target. Some of the others though - well, in the Govts position, I would want to check out how much taxpayers money they were in receipt of and how much value for money they gave but, having said that I DO wonder about abolishing ones like:
- Advisory Committee on Pesticides
- Farm Animal Welfare Council
- Food from Britain
- Committee on Mutagenicity of Chemicals in Food, Consumer Products and the Environment

and I could go on. I certainly would like to see a description of the tasks they have done and, if they are as worthwhile as I would imagine they are from those titles, then ask just who else would do their work if THEY didnt.

I know one cannot/should not expect something to go on for all time just because it seemed like a good idea once - as some things can be self-perpetuating just because it suits the people involved and they lobby on their own behalf. There is money spent on an awful lot besides quangos - that no-one has ever seriously sat down and thought about and the sheer process of inertia (and the vested interests of the people concerned - selfishness by another name) means that that spending is likely to continue for the foreseeable future...

bluebag

Katiegizmo
Sometimes it can be a hard slog, but I am old enough to have seen the effects of more than one economic downturn.

I used to be that big spender, then we hit a rough patch and the baliffs, the courts, the red letters the endless phone calls. Hiding the post, hiding from the collectors, hiding from it all.
I don't ever want to go back there.

So I do what you do, what we all do here, try to keep our families safe, warm, well fed and our heads above water. There are not many of us, it's hard work and you don't get to boast about car boot sales, grocery challenges and 1001 things to do with an Ikea fllece.

But girls, it's so worth it.
bb