It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

gailey_2

narabanekeater wrote: »

Gailey - The pta at our school is crying out for new members. Im sure they will make you very welcome and youll have valuables skills to share with them. I wish you lived near me not only to snap you up for our PTA but as weve similar ages children and 'ways' IYKWIM
Ive just had a called from another shocked friend its £45 for each adult so £90 and £30 for both children then plus drinks
This really has put us in a difficult position. Certainly no family holiday for us next year

Ah thanks was bit scared its very formal and some parents been there years last year pta raised nearly 10grand for school which is good in hard times. They do try to do lots of events.
It seemed quite formal and organised.
Im actaully quite shy whith strangers o thourght would push myself more .

im shocked at wedding costs could you get out of it?

my mates had similar problem with his brothers wedding she picked 4-5star hotel in rural wales miles away from bristol made him pay for his own suit and room.Yet bride paid for herside, she even wasent going to pay for mil rooma nd think all drinks costed money.
her hen nite was extortionate I was invited but dident go.

most weddings it wine for toast then drinks at bar seemed fair.
Thats what we did chose pub with function room roast lamb for 53guests with free wine and sparkling cava for toast.
favours from thorntons.

evening nice buffet for 100 and lovehearts as evening favours.
drinks at bar but bar wasent overly expensive.

or whole food /drinks bill was less than 2grand for day and evening but that was wales in 2004 loved our wedding, we been married 6years this october.

I personally wouldent sacrafice family holiday for a wedding.
not as if kids eat much anyway.
is it too far to drive there and back?
maybe look for cheap b and b nearby.

my hen nite best bit about it wasent when out as too drunk too remember but at house eating pizzaway in pjs with wine watching girley films and facemasks.

janb5

maryb wrote: »

We live just down the road from Queen Mary's Sidcup and both the DDs were born in the maternity unit there. It was a lovely unit and the care was fantastic. 20 years ago when DD1 was born they kept first time mums in for a week which really helped the nervous ones. DD1 was due on Christmas Day but arrived a week early so fortunately they let me out on Christmas Eve. With DD2 I was in and out in 24 hours because that's what I wanted. It's sad to see it closing even if it is temporary.

What the article didn't say is that the A&E was already only open part time. After 8 pm it's a minor injuries unit. That's not actually too bad because a lot of the things that you and I would not necessarily consider minor could be treated there - eg whn DD2 had a suspected broken wrist I took her to the MIU at another local hospital where they had x ray capability and we were in and out in under an hour (Because she didn't in fact have a fracture just a bad sprain). What it doesn't say is whether they are going to run it as a MIU all the time

There's also the fact that there's a new state of the art hospital at the Princess Royal in Farnborough less than 5 miles away. It's not good news and it will mean longer waits at the remaining A&E units but it would be a lot worse if it was a rural area

Hi Mary B ....I live at the other end..i.e. nearer to PRU rather than Queen Mary`s. We lost Bromley Hospital which was literally round the corner to me, some years ago so it`s just more and more problems for people when they need urgent help and there are less staff and fewer hospitals.

maryb

Bromley Hospital was very handy wasn't it? But Beckenham Hospital has had a big revamp and it's very good now. It's the quickest Minor Injuries Unit I've ever been in (did I mention DD is accident prone?)

anguk

narabanekeater wrote: »

Gailey - The pta at our school is crying out for new members. Im sure they will make you very welcome and youll have valuables skills to share with them. I wish you lived near me not only to snap you up for our PTA but as weve similar ages children and 'ways' IYKWIM
Ive just had a called from another shocked friend its £45 for each adult so £90 and £30 for both children then plus drinks
This really has put us in a difficult position. Certainly no family holiday for us next year

I would be honest and tell your friend that as much as you would love to go to her wedding you just can't afford it. It's going to cost a fortune by the time you've paid for new clothes, food, drinks and present.

What has it come to when people are having to go without a family holiday just so they can pay to attend someone elses wedding? :eek: I thought a wedding day was about marrying the love of your life and sharing that with your close friends & relatives. :huh:

One of the nicest weddings I've been to was my OH's youngest niece's. The bride's mum had made the wedding dress, they did their own flowers, no wedding cars, we all used our own cars instead. Close friends and family went to the registry office then afterwards we went back to their house where they'd laid on a lovely home-made buffet, the groom had even made their wedding cake. Everyone knew everyone and it was so relaxed and informal, kids running around playing, everyone laughing, we all thoroughly enjoyed the day. And it only cost the couple a few hundred instead of many thousands.

Margaret54

Hi katholicos Reading your post there I too came to standing up for myself pretty late in life, and had been treated like dirt so many times, put down verbally abused etc. so much for so long. Once I found my voice, all be it a quiet one it became easier each time to speak up, and now I can do it well. I remember Oprah saying on her show one day a few years ago"that we teach people how to treat us" and oh yes how true that is. I don't like confrontation at all, but will never ever allow someone to treat me badly or talk rudely to me, as if I don't matter. I respect myself so much these days, so I do understand. I was seen as a week person because I had very very little confidence, and shy too as Mardatha I believe had written. Best wishes to all on here, and I love to read the posts and what a lovely little community it is too, especially in these times.xx

bluebag

narabanekeater Pay for your own food!! WHAT!! Honestly me head nearly fell off when I read that.
Never hear the like of it in me life. I'd be positively insulted if someone invited me to a do they were having and expected me to pay for it.
I'm still gobsmaked.

Kitcaboodle

What I would do for the wedding is just turn up for the ceremony and then make your excuses. If it's anything like ours, they'll struggle to spend as much as 5 mins with each of their guests and you don't want to run to huge expense. I agree that expecting guests to pay for their own food is just plain strange! You could even not take the kids to the ceremony if clothing for them is an issue.

If they're good friends then you should be able to tell them that you can't afford the whole day but that you'd love to be there for the ceremony and catch up with them on another occasion when you can spend more time with them to celebrate the wedding as you know they'll be inundated with people wanting to speak to them on the day itself.

-

If anyone wants a laugh, I just stuck a burgandy fleece throw that I plan to use as fabric for a winter all-in-one for DS in with a batch of nappies to save on washing and I now have four terries, two pre-folds and a mesh bag in a lovely shade of pink!

redlady_1

Well, considering they want everyone to pay for their own meals, funds are obviously tight so therefore they should understand your situation. I bet they wont be expecting you to point that out to them though!

katholicos

naraban, i had another thought since they expect you to pay for your food why not agree to go on the understanding that you take your own packed lunches for your family...maybe that will put tings into perspective a bit for them?

katholicos

Margaret54 wrote: »

Hi katholicos Reading your post there I too came to standing up for myself pretty late in life, and had been treated like dirt so many times, put down verbally abused etc. so much for so long. Once I found my voice, all be it a quiet one it became easier each time to speak up, and now I can do it well. I remember Oprah saying on her show one day a few years ago"that we teach people how to treat us" and oh yes how true that is. I don't like confrontation at all, but will never ever allow someone to treat me badly or talk rudely to me, as if I don't matter. I respect myself so much these days, so I do understand. I was seen as a week person because I had very very little confidence, and shy too as Mardatha I believe had written. Best wishes to all on here, and I love to read the posts and what a lovely little community it is too, especially in these times.xx

Margaret54, i hear you! We are a lovely little community made all the better by people like your good self joining us

I look forward to reading more of your posts.