Should I feed DD?!

angelicmary85

*Louise* wrote: »

Poor thing, my DD has had that on occasion.

Does she like fresh orange juice? Mine started having a small amount with breakfast and it seemed to help ease things a little - along with plenty water during the day.

No. When I say she won't touch anything other than what I listed, I meant it! :eek:

mikey72

angelicmary85 wrote: »

Her waist is so small that she can fit into a 9-12 month old vest

What disorder did you have?! Maybe I should try taking her back to the doc?

If you do, record absolutely everything she has to eat and drink, for a week before, so he/she has something to work with.
If you they can't help, ask to be referred.

pigpen

angelicmary85 wrote: »

Her waist is so small that she can fit into a 9-12 month old vest

What disorder did you have?! Maybe I should try taking her back to the doc?

no idea.. what it was labelled as.. I stopped eating when my parents separated at 3 and started again at maybe.. 15/16... I lived on next to nothing.. and what I did eat was crap.. until I was 8 I would ONLY eat tinned garden peas (teaspoon if lucky!), 2 tinned new potatoes and 2-3 tinned baby carrots.. occasionally I would have a couple of those small hotdogs.. if I was given anything else.. I would do without.. and I was so used to it I could.. it was the one aspect of my life I had control over..

I was bit of a fruitcake ..

at 11 I weighed 3st 4

Had I been my parents I would have ignored it and not made it such an issue and let me get on with it.. I wold probably have altered my ways sooner.

It really doesn't sound like your daughter has a real problem.. she is just being 2.. they ALL (just about) go through phases like this..

msb5262

I think you need to take the heat off this issue as much as you can - tonight offer her (as in bring her) perhaps two appropriate choices, like non-sugary cereal/slice of toast, then in future serve normal meals to her at the table.

Give her the meal you would prepare for the whole family, in tiny quantities and maybe with each item spaced out on the plate, and eat at the same time yourselves.

Be CALM and don't react even if she refuses to eat, takes food off the plate, makes a mess etc.
Make sure you're having a quiet conversation which is not about DD or her food, and don't even comment if food isn't eaten.

Just quietly clear the plate, either when she has messed about with it or at the end of the meal, and serve whatever (healthy) pudding you have planned - including serving her.

Try getting her to help set the table, draw a picture for each person, use pretty napkins, try straws with drinks, put quiet music on etc. to make it clear that a meal is a social occasion.

Model the behaviour you want from her and there's a chance you'll get it.

Don't fall into the trap of saying, "My child will only eat chicken nuggets....turkey twizzlers...curly fries...." because no small child can buy or prepare those for themselves - you are the adult, and you decide what food is bought, prepared and served.

I KNOW it's so tempting to give her what you know she'll eat, but the foods she likes are not good. If she demanded drugs, alcohol or cigarettes you wouldn't give in, so be strong over this.

Children like control.

Remember the cunning ploy of offering two choices - not, "Would you like this or not?" but, "Would you like apple juice or orange juice? Would you like chicken or cheese? Would you like carrot sticks or cucumber?"

If you can get your DD to help a bit with preparing food, she is much more likely to eat it - even if it's just putting the carrot sticks on a plate with a pot of hummus in the middle. You might be able to get her to help you bake some bread or to help make toast by pressing the button down on the toaster. Try a warm boiled egg - decorate the shell with wax crayons. Grow some cress seeds and harvest the cress with scissors. Take her to see some chickens...can she help collect the eggs?

I can understand you're tearing your hair out but try to step back a bit from this and make some long-term decisions on what you want for your daughter...

best wishes

MsB

angelicmary85

mikey72 wrote: »

What does she eat?
It's a habit she's got into, it's not a healthy one, and you need to change it. It's not just being naughty.

She eats what I listed on page 1...and that's about it, except the odd bite of toast every couple of weeks.

Jo_R_2

I do think 2 is a bit young to completely forgo food full stop, IMO they don't have the comprehension of 'cause and effect' with regard to their actions - not to say they aren't darn manipulative when they want to be!

I'm another who'd go with the weetabix/plain toast option, which would be given separately to dinner at the table, but not as a bedtime 'snack' IYSWIM so they don't start to think it's a viable teatime option should they not want their tea.

Looking at the bigger picture... My oldest two are 6 and nearly 4, I was quite 'experimental' when they were weaning and they liked loads of stuff - fast forward a couple of years later and they both decided they didn't like things they'd previously ate happily:mad: I'll admit I will engineer food I know they will like within the family dinner, so I do serve up pasta with cheesy sauce (homemade) with veggies I know they will eat in the sauce probably more than OH would prefer LOL - but being honest if DD2 would only eat that I'd prob give her that everyday as it's nutritional and saves hassle!

You know you mentioned the 'best of the worst' - what's the 'best' things she WILL eat - or have I misunderstood and that's ALL she'll eat?

danielle1977

I was diagnosed with anoxerica nervisa at age 4- we then went to another doctor who said it was a load of rubbish and told my mum that if I wanted chips and the centres of cream egg for every meal then give that to me! She did. Gradually I started eating more-food didn't become a battle and less than a year later I still ate my food, but was willing to eat a lot more food.

Maybe this is why ds2 has food issues-I try not to stress over it-but end up stressing when mums at toddler groups pull out their little packs of fruit and ds2 just says he doesn't like it he wants crisps, chocolate or grapes.

rosalie-lavender

angelicmary85 wrote: »

I suggested to OH that we should try to feed her seperately but he thought that she might see that as 'winning'

Well if she is doing it partly for attention then removing some of the attention could mean that actually you are "winning."

I do agree though, that when it is this bad then it is possible that there is some kind of psychological reason behind it along the lines of an eating disorder.

I wish now I had pushed for more help for my son when everyone kept saying there was nothing really wrong with a child eating cereals and toast most of the time and that he would grow out of it. Socially it has been a real problem for him. He would have starved if need be rather than try anything new. He literally shook with fear at the thought of trying anything different.

It made me smile when someone said her food if her children didn't eat their meal was weetabix. That was one of the few things my son would eat.

You could try leaving small portions of food out that she can try when no-one is looking, I had a bit of success doing that with my son. One thing that really didn't help my son was well meaning relatives keeping on at him to "try some of these lovely vegetables." every time we had a meal together. The other thing that put him back was playgroup trying to force him to eat. Giving him the chance to try new things without everyone watching did help, although he was older than your daughter. It may be something for the future though if the problem persists.

For today though, I think I would offer something you know she eats but not a treat like ice cream.

mikey72

msb5262 wrote: »

If you can get your DD to help a bit with preparing food, she is much more likely to eat it - even if it's just putting the carrot sticks on a plate with a pot of hummus in the middle. You might be able to get her to help you bake some bread or to help make toast by pressing the button down on the toaster. Try a warm boiled egg - decorate the shell with wax crayons. Grow some cress seeds and harvest the cress with scissors. Take her to see some chickens...can she help collect the eggs?

MsB

Preparing food is a good idea, does she eat bread at all?
Playing with the dough then trying while still warm is usually irresistable.
Or using as a dip into the gravy to start, to get a feel for the texture.

angelicmary85

msb5262 wrote: »

I think you need to take the heat off this issue as much as you can - tonight offer her (as in bring her) perhaps two appropriate choices, like non-sugary cereal/slice of toast, then in future serve normal meals to her at the table.

Give her the meal you would prepare for the whole family, in tiny quantities and maybe with each item spaced out on the plate, and eat at the same time yourselves. She takes one look and pushes the plate away

Be CALM and don't react even if she refuses to eat, takes food off the plate, makes a mess etc.
Make sure you're having a quiet conversation which is not about DD or her food, and don't even comment if food isn't eaten. That's the one thing I'm quite good at, staying calm but she really stresses OH out!!

Just quietly clear the plate, either when she has messed about with it or at the end of the meal, and serve whatever (healthy) pudding you have planned - including serving her.

Try getting her to help set the table, draw a picture for each person, use pretty napkins, try straws with drinks, put quiet music on etc. to make it clear that a meal is a social occasion.

Model the behaviour you want from her and there's a chance you'll get it.

Don't fall into the trap of saying, "My child will only eat chicken nuggets....turkey twizzlers...curly fries...." because no small child can buy or prepare those for themselves - you are the adult, and you decide what food is bought, prepared and served. I do the monthly shop with her in mind and it's a nightmare!!

I KNOW it's so tempting to give her what you know she'll eat, but the foods she likes are not good. If she demanded drugs, alcohol or cigarettes you wouldn't give in, so be strong over this.

Children like control.

Remember the cunning ploy of offering two choices - not, "Would you like this or not?" but, "Would you like apple juice or orange juice? Would you like chicken or cheese? Would you like carrot sticks or cucumber?"

If you can get your DD to help a bit with preparing food, she is much more likely to eat it - even if it's just putting the carrot sticks on a plate with a pot of hummus in the middle. You might be able to get her to help you bake some bread or to help make toast by pressing the button down on the toaster. Try a warm boiled egg - decorate the shell with wax crayons. Grow some cress seeds and harvest the cress with scissors. Take her to see some chickens...can she help collect the eggs? I tried to get her to help but she started helping too much...when I went to check on her wee bro, she'd open the oven door or start stirring pots! :eek:

I can understand you're tearing your hair out but try to step back a bit from this and make some long-term decisions on what you want for your daughter... She can eat whatever ske likes when she's older but for now, I want her to sit nicely and eat something proper!!

best wishes

MsB

Thank you for the best wishes...I'm going to need them!