Should I feed DD?!

mikey72

angelicmary85 wrote: »

I've not staerted any other threads about DD but I've posted in other users threads...I'm getting really desperate now so thought I'd start a thread of my own!!

We all sit at the kitchen table, the t.v goes off and she sits in her booster seat beside her brother.

I've tried the 'here's one I made earlier' thing but it didn't go down too well and she teddy 'doesn't like' anything either.

I've said before that I'm going to be tough with her but it never happened but I've been too soft for too long and things have to change not just for her sake, but for us all...meal time is like a war zone!!

I don't think you should be eating together at this stage.
Start with you and her, at the table, get the "good" food battle out of the way, as that's going to be the difficult bit, then let her sit there while you eat as a sociable thing. Eventually she'll see dinner is pleasant, and not a fight, and want to join in. But it's long and hard, and difficult.

angelicmary85

mikey72 wrote: »

this isn't a one night tantrum.

You're right, it isn't.

I've taken her to the doctor who said she was fine, HV's have said she's fine but when a 2year old can't 'poop' then surely that's not fine!

angelicmary85

mikey72 wrote: »

I don't think you should be eating together at this stage.
Start with you and her, at the table, get the "good" food battle out of the way, as that's going to be the difficult bit, then let her sit there while you eat as a sociable thing. Eventually she'll see dinner is pleasant, and not a fight, and want to join in. But it's long and hard, and difficult.

I suggested to OH that we should try to feed her seperately but he thought that she might see that as 'winning'

mikey72

No offense to him, but it's not a battle you can win or lose any more, it's an eating disorder that you are addressing.
Make her stay for the family meal though, if you think it works at the time.
Don't switch the battle to that though.

rosalie-lavender

angelicmary85 wrote: »

You're right, it isn't.

I've taken her to the doctor who said she was fine, HV's have said she's fine but when a 2year old can't 'poop' then surely that's not fine!

That was a problem my daughter had and it was eventually sorted out when she started drinking more fluids. It might be worth making sure she is drinking enough especially in this hot weather.

*max*

When I was a kid, if I was hungry at night (I often was, as I could never sleep till late...same now!) my mum always gave me a cup of warm milk with a little bit of honey in it (had to re-brush my teeth afterwards...lol) and it became a sort of soothing pattern. Maybe she would like her milk warmed up?

Mind you, extreme story here, but I had an extremely strict father who would make me sit in front of my plate ALL day/night if I hadn't eaten it- could be for hours on end. Nevermind foods that I didn't like because of taste, like mushrooms and parsnips...I was also forced to eat the skin of the chicken, fat of the pork etc, as well as all the gritty bits in the meat. And I mean forced. If I threw up, I had to come back to the table and still finish my plate (which happened a lot). Oh, and if I threw up, I got smacked too. Lovely man, my father was....:(

danielle1977

All of the advice is great but very difficult to try espically with a screaming 2 year old. These days we are under so much pressure to feed our children right.

I'm not going to say I do it all perfectly cause I don't, to get my son to eat I try all of the stuff, eat a mouthful of each food on your plate, no pudding if you don't, but sometimes he does go to bed hungry and wakes up very early for breakfast because hes hungry (so sometimes its easier to give in so I can have a bit longer in bed) but we are getting there. Hes underweight and has had a food diary in past, from this we saw that he did get diary, meat, veg etc, even if it wasn't exactly the ideal way.

Since starting nursery and having dinner there a few times a week he has started to eat more foods, there thought I had gone veggie, ds1 has always been a great eater, ds2 wouldn't touch the meat in nursery-or the veggies, but he is now getting better.

Basically don't feel bad, at night time its one of the tougher times, everyone is tired, and see if she will eat something else if not icecream is made from milk (isn't it?)

pigpen

angelicmary85 wrote: »

Nope...

We've tried milkshakes and hot chocolate to try to get some milk in her but she won't drink either.

DS1 stopped having milk at 6 months old.. he had cheese and yoghurts and such like instead.. h hasn't died from it.. and I didn't have milk from being very little either.

angelicmary85 wrote: »

You're right, it isn't.

I've taken her to the doctor who said she was fine, HV's have said she's fine but when a 2year old can't 'poop' then surely that's not fine!

Actually yes it is.

They are too busy to sit still to poo.. and often think it is a part of their body they are parting with so don't like to poo. Gross as it sounds.. I persuaded a couple of mine to sit there to see if they could 'out stink' daddy when he goes.. or to see if they could make a 'big splash' ... while it is foul and I know it is it did work and made pooing fun.. if you can call it that lol.

This was exceptionally useful with DS3 who had a huge fissure so pooing was agony for him and he had to be pinned down to go.

It is normal for some to only go 2-3 times a week as well..

angelicmary85

mikey72 wrote: »

No offense to him, but it's not a battle you can win or lose any more, it's an eating disorder that you are addressing.

She's too young to have an eating disorder...??

pigpen

danielle1977 wrote: »

icecream is made from milk (isn't it?)

no.. it is usually water and fat and flavourings.. esp. the cheapy stuff

angelicmary85 wrote: »

She's too young to have an eating disorder...??

i was diagnosed with an eating disorder at just 3... I didn't eat.. at all.. and was teeny tiny