Should I feed DD?!

mikey72

viktory wrote: »

No more food until the next meal. You really need to take control back. She won't starve.

I love this sort of comment.
Why won't she starve?
How many days would you give your method without them eating, and what would be an acceptable weight loss to you before either giving in or contacting a hospital?

Bacchus_061

Why I do personally rather lean towards the 'soft' approach, both can work and it really depends on the child and parent. There was a recent programme reagarding children who do not sleep and two experts have worked with two sets of parents on each method. Both actually in the end worked. One took a soft approach and got the child emotionally more ready and the second was tough love. I am sure both methods work with around 90/95 % of all children BUT there are some who just wont give in. It is then just down to relax about it and try a few months later

viktory

mikey72 wrote: »

I love this sort of comment.
Why won't she starve?
How many days would you give your method without them eating, and what would be an acceptable weight loss to you before either giving in or contacting a hospital?

Kids starve all over the world every day, but they don’t do it to themselves. It is not until they become image conscience that they have the potential for eating disorders. Kids eat until their brains tell them it’s time to stop, not more and not less. This appears to be a simple battle of wills that has got out of hand. As to how many days, I couldn't possibly say - it is not my child.

I assume that the OP has spoken with her Doctor or Health Visitor and that any potential medical problems have been ironed out. If the child really refuses to eat, then the OP can make sure she drinks plenty of fluids including full fat milk. Mealtimes should be calm and pleasant with no undercurrents of emotion. I know the OP said that she and her husband don't argue in front of the child, but children are very perceptive.

Of course, all the above is entirely my opinion and the OP must do what she thinks is best for her family.

mikey72

viktory wrote: »

.................If the child really refuses to eat, then the OP can make sure she drinks plenty of fluids including full fat milk..............

Same question though, how?
Force feed the milk?

angelicmary85

viktory wrote: »

Why are you permitting such disgusting behaviour at the table? Teach her to how to use cutlery and eat nicely - no fingers and no licking food!

Woah...that's a wee bit harsh!

She does know how to eat with cutlery. The reason she (at times) eats with her fingers is her wee brother (who has learning difficulties) can't use a fork/knife/spoon and we were advised (by a specialist) that letting him eat finger foods will help him develop his pincer grip. She sees that he is doing it so she copies.

I can't allow one child to eat with their fingers and tell the other one off for doing it.

What do you suggest I do...feed them both at seperate times so she doesn't copy?

angelicmary85

mikey72 wrote: »

Same question though, how?
Force feed the milk?

She'll drink it if it's made into hot chocolate

wheeliebin_2

You're at a critical stage where you will find out who is in charge in the household. If you give in you are training her to have tantrums, to refuse good food and be generally disobedient. A lot of strength now on your part may be really hard work in the short term but will definitely pay off long term. We had all sorts of grief with one of our daughters (around age 3 to 4). Tried all sorts of things like not letting her get down from the table til she'd eaten. Have since learnt that its partly an attention getting thing so you need to not get stressed and not make it a big deal (yeah and I know how easy that is!!). Lay down the rules and ensure everyone abides by them (dinner is at this time - we all eat and leave the table so many minutes later, anything not eaten gets binned, no pudding for people that dont eat their dinner).

Also make sure you give her very small portions to start with (its amazing how its just the amount of food that can put them off from eating any of it). Maybe include her in decisions in what to have for dinner (not carte blanche - give her the option of two or three things). Getting her involved in preparing dinner might help.

Also make sure she gets plenty of attention at other times too....

Karate

This may have been mentioned, but I have not read through the whole thread.

Have you considered whether your DD may have food allergies/intolerances?

I'm sure an indicator of the above is being picky/fussy with foods from a young age, with a preference to eating plain, or bland foods. Does she also have a 'thing' about foods touching each other?

My brother was the same, he would go through phases of foods he 'liked' and these would be the only things he would eat at mealtimes. He would have the sausages out of the tins of beans, tuna chunks on their own, potato waffles, potato smiles, potato 'alphabites', cheap 9p noodles made up without the flavouring sachet,... Foods could never touch each other, and the foods which were acceptable changed every few months. He has an intolerance/allergy to artificial sweeteners.

Buttonmoons

If it makes you feel better I got DD drinking milk by adding nesquick! Haha. She has never liked milk or said she didn't, wouldn't touch it as a baby and had to give her the toddler follow on milk until she was over 3 :rotfl:

She has always been fascinated with other people eating, and her eating still isn't terrific but now she eats pasta (as long as it isn't TOO saucy) it's opened up a lot of choice, same with sausages and mashed potato's etc.

I just had my lunch which was a salad and she wanted to feed me, so I told her she could if she tried some things off my plate. She didn't like raw onion, loved tomato, was unsure of avacado and thought rocket lettuce was yukky.

Least she is trying and she will be getting bowls of cherry toms for snacks now!

Once she goes to nursery you'll find she tries more things, it was really nursery that got her drinking milk, and now she doesn't get milkshake unless we are out for a meal, durig drinks orders she asks for a chocolate milkshake :rotfl: she likes garlic bread etc now because of the snack at nursery. She loves sweet things though so I've never had an issue with her and fruit - thankfully!

Sarahlou_2

Hi AngelicMary!

First of all big hugs to you, this must be so hard. I'm lucky in the fact that my DS eats anything in sight (costs me a fortune mind..). BUT our nephew is 5 and will only eat hotdog sausages and tomato soup - or so his mum thinks.

We recently took him on a few day trips, packed sandwiches and fruit with absolutely no alternatives...and he ate the lot with no complaint......what I'm trying to say is will she eat other foods for anyone else? Once we took him back to his mother he was refusing food again....

Best of luck x x