How to get OH on board?

piccalilli_2

Hi OrkneyStar,

After going through the storecupboard and freezer (and some kind donations from family/friends) I'm hoping to spend nearly nothing on groceries till the end of the month! I'll let you know!

Choc-addict

piccalilli wrote: »

Hi OrkneyStar,

After going through the storecupboard and freezer (and some kind donations from family/friends) I'm hoping to spend nearly nothing on groceries till the end of the month! I'll let you know!

That'll be fab if you can piccalilli! I love camping trips, hope you have a fab time, perhaps a break from this all will do you good so you can come back refreshed and ready to battle with it all!

andrea1968_2

Hi Picallili,
I was in a similar situation with my now very ex OH who couldn't/wouldn't grasp the credit card spending situation. Although he knew the balance on each card he didn't see the monthly struggle to pay as a major issue. I think it was me sorting the payments out each month that was the problem as it didn't seem to register with him that it was real money involved.

I finally decided that I would make him pay each one in cash at the bank every month. Whether or not it was physically handing over the money or the fact that he had to queue up and waste his time instead of me doing it but he did start to pull his reins in.

Good luck it sounds like he's got a diamond in you lets hope he wakes up and realises it

piccalilli_2

Hi all,

Piccalilli's OH here,

Just want to thank you all for your kind words and support to my wife.
I have sat here reading all of the comments suggested by all of you, and some seriously good advice has come from this.

This has been a real eye opener for myself, i just hope I can do my wife proud and do something about it.

If I can but give one opinion from the flip side of the coin (being the one who has put the pair of us in this position in the first place)
Male pride is an absolute killer, and can swamp and suffocate all the good will and intention from the OH.
For myself, the real eye opener was the fact that Piccalilli had joined this group in the first place. The fact that she turned to a forum rather than speak to myself made me realize this evening that she has been speaking to me about this for an age......it was just that I previously chose not to listen.

Many thanks once again, looking forward to both of us keeping you all up to speed in the future.

Piccalilli's OH.

andrea1968_2

Glad your lightbulb moment has arrived Mr Picalilli. :T It's a long journey and it's a hard one at times but keep plugging away and the debts will start to decrease.

Good luck to both of you and a big thumbs up to Mr P for coming on here and saying hi

Nitha

I'm currently helping my OH quit smoking and the NHS programme has been a godsend - not sure if I can post the link (medical advice rules etc) so please google it!

It has been the only thing that he's really responded to. He uses the postal support service which is free and also has Nicotine lozenges occasionally when he's having a tough day. We are now three weeks smoke free and already he's feeling the benefit both financially and in his health. I've stuck up the 1st month quit plan in his office and he puts stickers on it to remind him how each day has gone. He also has a ready reckoner which shows the savings he's made from quitting. I definitely think that quitting smoking will make a huge difference to your finances!

REDMADCURLS

Three cheers for Mr P - for having seriously 'big balls' to send that message - during the World Cup final too. Mr RMC would NEVER even consider posting never mind admission!

With that attitude and Mrs P's determination - job done! Debt free date will be sooner than you think.

Congrats Mr & Mrs P - you have both got 'diamonds' in your life

piccalilli_2

Well, back off the hols and felt quite good - we had a nice cheap few days - lots of free things to do!

But the holiday mood has gone already I'm afraid - we sorted thru the post and guess what? For the first time we can't pay some of our bills , so we have had a mad dash to the bank, and thanks to family some of the debt is now transferred to the "family bank" (thank you!!!!!) and it WILL be repaid!! so we might be ok till the end of the month, so long as no more bank charges hit the account (and yes, we are doing the letter to try to reclaim tonight - has anyone else had luck with their banks?)

Mr P says hi again - he really appreciates the support you are all giving us both although he does reply to RMC "if we had diamonds they'd be on ebay by now!!":p

Hi to Nitha and andrea1968 - nice to meet you! I think on the smoking he will probably go cold turkey - none of the other stuff has helped (and he's tried them all!)

REDMADCURLS

LOL Mr Picc' - DH and I have discussed how much we could get for each other on Ebay!

Smoking - the curse of my life, but I will keep trying to quit! (Has he tried the tablets?)

andrea1968_2

I've given up on my otherwise totally fantastic OH where the smokings concerned - He did REALLY well and managed to cut right down to when we only go out for a drink - about twice a month. But on those 2 nights he'd be hidden behind a wall of smoke he has that many.

He tries to convince me that he's a social smoker - yes its really sociable- he's stood outside in the rain and I'm inside drinking on my own like Billy no mates.

So far in the last 18months or so he's tried the plastic pretend cigarettes - until I made the mistake of suggesting it looked he got a tampon in his mouth - it went straight in the bin.:D

Patches - he was allergic to the sticky stuff:rotfl:

Lozenges - he ate them like smarties

and his current smoking chewing gums - which he swears by during the week but then has them and the cigarettes on the nights out which kind of defeats the object.

I've decided if and when he's really serious about it he'll do it and we can put all that extra money we save to something nice.

I'm not anti smoking, its just that I worry about his health and
to be fair its the only thing that I an nag him about because he really is fantastic in every other way :kisses3: