How to get OH on board?

Tixy

Hi

You can move a debt from one name to the other, the card companies don't care, providing you don't transfer between the same provider (so not from his MBNA to your MBNA for example). Of course you do become legally responsible for the debt then (should you split up etc).
But if you mortgage is joint then you will be financially associated so may find his credit affects your chances of getting a 0% card.

Does he just have one card for his expenses? if he does and they pay him after 3weeks this should still be in time to pay it off that month in full (well in theory anyway, once that doesn't happen for a month or 2 of course its hard to get back on track).


His credit report might well affect your chances of getting a mortgage, or at least a competative one.

piccalilli_2

Hi Tixy,

That's good news on the card swapping - might be an area to investigate, if only to stop some of the interest. I got my Virgin card earlier this year with no problems, so might try for one eslewhere - i'll check the best buys.
OH's expenses card doesn't get cleared - it gets maxed, then the payment from work comes through and he spends up to the max again, so it never works properly, whcih is a pain to put it lightly.
I must go and look at credit scores to see how bad they are.

t4mof

Are there any offers on the Virgin card at the moment?? I hadn't used mine for about 2 years and then they wrote to me about 4 months ago offering me 0% till December 2010. I've just got my statement today and there's now a further offer offering me 0% until March 2011 for transfers done before the end of August.

Always useful if you can get a 0% on a card you already have so there's no need to apply for new cards. Barclaycard also did me a 0% until March next year, just as I'd written my letter to close the account.

My OH gets expenses paid in arrears also. Do you use the expenses payment to pay off the CC when he gets paid??

piccalilli_2

Hi t4mof,

Virgin is the one I opened this year, to do a balance transfer, so don't know if they'll give me any juicy offers as they are making no money off me at the mo. And guess what - Barclaycard is the one I tranferred from and closed!
The expense payments do the minimum on the card - the rest just gets swallowed up into his account on overdraft - vicious circle.
Have just asked for extension of my overdraft - should hear next few days.
Calling Council to extend council tax, and BT to try for better deal, tomorrow.
It all just seems tiny things against the huge amount though...

piccalilli_2

Here's the SOA:

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 800
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2300
Benefits................................ 120
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3220

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 650
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 479
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 115
Electricity............................. 26
Gas..................................... 43
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 25
Telephone (land line)................... 66 - this is a bundle of calls and internet
Mobile phone............................ 10
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 300
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 80
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 100
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 10
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 300
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 14
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 25
Contents insurance...................... 44
Life assurance ......................... 15
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 5
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Professional Subscriptions.............. 35
Cigarettes.............................. 200
Contact Lenses.......................... 13
Total monthly expenses.................. 2595


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 125000
Shares and bonds........................ 100
Car(s).................................. 13000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 138100


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
Mortgage...................... 86000....(650)......0
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 8000.....(330)......0<
Car Loan.......................3000.....(149)......0 - update, its down to 2595! got a balance today
Total secured & HP debts...... 97000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
Barclays CC....................3848......86........19.9
HSBC CC........................4854......121.......18.9
Virgin CC......................6784......154.......17.6
Student Loans..................1743......90........0 - don't know - this is 0%
Halifax........................1500......40....... .0 - don't know
Virgin CC......................900.......25........0%
Priority Club CC...............2000......60........0 - don't know
Total unsecured debts..........21629.....576.......- [/b]


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,220
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,595
Available for debt repayments........... 625
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 576
Amount left after debt repayments....... 49

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 138,100
Total HP & Secured debt................. -97,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -21,629
Net Assets.............................. 19,471

A fewupdates that improve things a tiny bit...
Also got £10 voucher from doing surveys, so todays shop only cost a fiver! and not on the CC!

Choc-addict

Hi,

Really feel for you as have probs getting my OH on board but it's the other way round i'm in debt from past....still paying off but OH has no debts. He is good 50% of the time but then spends madly when we go and do a shop etc and we split everything 50/50.....he doesn't get it when I want to shop and cut back....gueess he doesn't have to. Your OH is lucky to have you on board in my eyes!!

Can you perhaps have a separate account for bills i.e. direct debits, cc payments and then transfer the rest of your money (what is left over to another) then work out a weekly budget between you and partner and that's it....bit of tough lover for a while and your OH will be thankful i'm sure.

If you are in control of the food shopping, you can easily cut back, perhaps batch cook, meal plan for the week ahead and always shop from a list....no extras.

Have subscribed so look forward to more updates and tips on getting them on board as I need help too xx

piccalilli_2

Hi Choc-addict,

We already have a seperate account for bills only, that should run itself with no interference. We each have our own account which our pay goes onto, which is why he's got in so much trouble, as I've not dug into it to see how he's doing. My account has gone OD due to helping him out, and now its spiralling.

I've been cutting back on the groceries, but think I may have to be more ruthless. I don't tend to go spontaneous, but I think cheaper options for meals is going to have to be done. OH is a carnivore, and complains if theres no meat on his plate, which racks the bills up. I have been buying cheaper cuts (mince, belly pork), but now may be the time to go veggie!

Have you tried secretly substituting brands? I fooled OH with value tomato sauce for 6 months when he thought it was Heinz! Do you always shop together? If not then sneak cheap stuff in and disguise it.

Good luck to you too, its interesting to hear the situation the other way round, how did you tell you partner about your debts (i'm presuming he's fully in the know?).

Triggles

It might be worth telling your DH he has a choice - try value options and cutting well back on your grocery bill - or give up smoking completely!:eek: Maybe he needs a shake up like that.

As far as cutting back, we've made a fair bit of progress. DH is a meat and potatoes man as well - the idea of no meat for a meal really threw him initially. But we've managed to have meals with very little meat that he's actually fine with. For example:

- homemade soup with veg and dumplings - I call it chicken soup, but other than chicken stock from the chicken carcass (we usually have it the day after we have a roast chicken), there's very little chicken chopped up in it - more veg than anything, with some dumplings thrown on top. DH loves it and it's filling. And it heats up well - just add some fresh dumplings. LOL

- eggs, toast, and either sausage or bacon for tea. It's breakfast food, but it's quick, hot, and easy. And we buy cheap frozen sausages or basics bacon and use that. Or we chop up some leftover gammon if we've had gammon recently and put that and some cheese in the scrambled eggs. Very little meat, but tasty and filling. (and easy!!)

- for any meal that we have a sauce, like spag bol or chili - i use very little mince, and add lots of veg (mushrooms, onions, peppers) chopped up and DH doesn't notice that there's lots of pasta and sauce but not so much meat. You can make a package of mince last quite a while that way!! just portion it up after you buy it, wrap it, and freeze the portions, so you only thaw out the small amount you need.

- simple meals that are cheap - beans on toast, tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, and a family easy favourite of mince (small portion) and baked beans served on rice. No meat or very little meat and DH still quite happy. We also make a cheesy potato soup that just has some chopped up leftover gammon in it - so very little meat.

Try looking through some recipe sites at some good casserole or hearty stew or bake recipes, and then just mentally subtract or portion down the meat and up the veg portions, and you can get by that way. Honestly, if DH sees a little meat in it, he doesn't question HOW MUCH meat there is. :rotfl: I'm pretty sure he just thinks "ah, meat" and eats it.

Choc-addict

piccalilli wrote: »

Hi Choc-addict,

We already have a seperate account for bills only, that should run itself with no interference. We each have our own account which our pay goes onto, which is why he's got in so much trouble, as I've not dug into it to see how he's doing. My account has gone OD due to helping him out, and now its spiralling.

I've been cutting back on the groceries, but think I may have to be more ruthless. I don't tend to go spontaneous, but I think cheaper options for meals is going to have to be done. OH is a carnivore, and complains if theres no meat on his plate, which racks the bills up. I have been buying cheaper cuts (mince, belly pork), but now may be the time to go veggie!

Have you tried secretly substituting brands? I fooled OH with value tomato sauce for 6 months when he thought it was Heinz! Do you always shop together? If not then sneak cheap stuff in and disguise it.

Good luck to you too, its interesting to hear the situation the other way round, how did you tell you partner about your debts (i'm presuming he's fully in the know?).

Good advice on the tom sauce!!! May give that a go. He's generally good but forgets that I can't always afford things and goes ahead and agrees to do things.....i'm lucky as like you are with your OH he helps me....however I never ever let him pay any of my debts, never have and never will. He'll support me in other ways like treating us a meal out together when moneys tight my end...little things that mean A LOT to me.

As for telling him, I was honest and up front when we first started dating (no point in lying!) and although he didn't know the full extent in the early days he knew I had problems and then once we were a little more committed so to speak we both sat down and went through everything. I am lucky - which I am sure your OH knows too that he is lucky to have you and your support.

The hard part for you is getting him on board.....for me i'm on board....its sometimes OH forgets that I can't always afford things as easily as he can.....that said i'm in the process of re-training (:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:) my thought process with money, looking at my actions etc and 'planning' better for hopefully a more sucessful financial future....slow steps tho

We're due to move and i'm going to introduce better spending budgets for shopping etc - a move is a great way to re-jig the budgets and start afresh I think!

Good luck....i'm sure you'll get there. It's the little things that start making a bigger diff over time x

piccalilli_2

Hi again Choc-addict,

My thought is that me and OH are in this together, and although I earn half what he does (i'm part-time), we have to pool resources to get out of this. I think my problem has been that I've always been good with money, being brought up to believe that if you don't have the cash in your hand, you just don't buy it. So I thought I could deal with this on my own, and OH believed me! So it's my fault in a way for allowing him to pass it over and get off scott-free. But its time to make him stand up and take responsibility - without reducing him to a wreak.

Hi too Triggles,

Some of those ideas sound good - OH needs to lose weight too so upping the veg and cutting the meat might make him lose the right sort of pounds! Think I might dig out the smaller plates too - I can freeze more portions for little 'un meals too. Thats one person in the house who would love a diet of beans and sausages constantly!! :-)