I was wrong, how do I make it up? He didnt Lie!

Littlemadam83

euronorris wrote: »

Not saying that is the case, or that he's right, but just something to consider. If he is feeling that way, asking to see the bank account will only make him more defensive and he'll probably go on the attack too, to deflect attention away from himself.

As others suggested, ask about the total balance paid and go from there. As the conversation opens you can always add 'It's OK if you haven't had time to pay it yet darling/if you're struggling to pay it, perhaps I could do it for you/help you?'. Let him feel that you're on his side, rather than accusing and he should be more willing to open up.

x

I really agree with your last comment. I emailed him the following trying to just be understanding, but he needs to tell the truth,

"We seriously need to get to the bottom of this.

I am not angry, just upset, and if it is because you are scared that its going to be late again atleast talk to me. Please Steve, think about how important honesty is, and lets just sort this out.

BT will be able to tell me categorically tomorrow morning if a call was made or not.

I love you and don’t want to argue about this, I just want to get to the bottom of it xxx"

His reply was;

"I have been honest, I did it this morning.

If you don’t believe me well that’s your problem, phone BT they will tell you I called, or Phone Tesco.

I am sick and tired of you questioning me about stuff."

His last sentence is true, but hasnt happened in a few months xxx

euronorris

I think it may be best to leave arguments/discussions until he gets home from work.

I tried to sort things out once or twice whilst OH was at work and it made things much, much worse! He complained about it too. So, I stopped and everything has gone a lot smoother since then. I know it's hard though, but it does usually end up making things worse.

xx

Gotta head home myself now, so will catch up again then.

xx

Littlemadam83

Bless ya, thank you, have a safe journey home.

Wish you'd posted that earlier though - eeeek LOL. I have just made him irate. So on your advice will leave well alone for now. I was just trying to be reassuring and non aggressive!

Speak soon xxx

poet123

I agree, remote confrontation about important issues is not advisable. If nothing else it allows an opportunity to concoct a story or indulge in damage limitation.

He could well have phoned at lunchtime/ after your initial contact, and as the statement will not detail the time, only the date, you will never know if you were correct.

Littlemadam83

poet123 wrote: »

I agree, remote confrontation about important issues is not advisable. If nothing else it allows an opportunity to concoct a story or indulge in damage limitation.

He could well have phoned at lunchtime/ after your initial contact, and as the statement will not detail the time, only the date, you will never know if you were correct.

Agreed, but I am adamant I am right now, as it really would show up on the last redial. Also, this is a good service, but BT have a up to date call usage monitor thing (which I found out today). It needs updating, but as soon as it is I will know exactly, and there is no way he can get out of it. I have to wait at the most 24 hours until the next update, so fingers crossed xxx

ecgirl07

If the payment is due on the 7th and has been made today on the 5th i would phone tesco and make sure it will clear in time anyway - i would leave 3 clear working days for any bank payment. Its probably ok but might give you a way into the conversation with OH.

Littlemadam83

Thanks EcGirl - unfortunately it is too late for that, he is really angry with me, and as Poet said he would have paid it today anyway now.

Agree with you totally, it says on the CC paperwork payment needs to be made over phone with atleast 2 full working days to spare. So is really tight x

jinky67

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

His reply was;

"I have been honest, I did it this morning.

If you don’t believe me well that’s your problem, phone BT they will tell you I called, or Phone Tesco.

I am sick and tired of you questioning me about stuff."

His last sentence is true, but hasnt happened in a few months xxx

Sounds like a typical put the blame on someone else tactic, taking no responsibilty for his own actions at all, I would be very wary:cool:

Littlemadam83

Thanks Jinky - yes, he did that last time. It is all my fault this has come to light etc. If he hadnt lied in the first place there would be no issue as I would have gone on blissfully unaware.

He is really really irate and I havent responded to his email as I dont want to make it worse. Threatening no mortgage together as we wont be together much longer.

I just want BT to hurry up and update the system. At the same time though, why should i jump through hoops to prove he is wrong when he should be the bigger man and own up to it. I really love him, but do question his love for me sometimes.

jinky67

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Thanks Jinky - yes, he did that last time. It is all my fault this has come to light etc. If he hadnt lied in the first place there would be no issue as I would have gone on blissfully unaware.

He is really really irate and I havent responded to his email as I dont want to make it worse. Threatening no mortgage together as we wont be together much longer.

I just want BT to hurry up and update the system. At the same time though, why should i jump through hoops to prove he is wrong when he should be the bigger man and own up to it. I really love him, but do question his love for me sometimes.

He has?:mad:

Classic abusive/controlling behaviour
Make you worry that it may be the case so stop getting at him, and questioning him:cool: