I was wrong, how do I make it up? He didnt Lie!

Littlemadam83

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Might he have found all the paperwork he needed this morning so he could pay it at lunchtime? He could have said something like "That's the credit card bill sorted", safe in the knowledge that he'd done the hard part having maybe misplaced it previously?

Thanks for another point of view Jimmy. The paper work was on his sofa when I nipped home, and I think the phone had even been moved to be left by it. I just dont understand the redial having a different number.

Also, I asked him when he said he'd paid it if he used the home phone to call which he said yes, and also said he shouldnt have to explain himself to me.

pinknfluffy0

Could he have paid it at work?

Dont go in accusing him, have a conversation about money. Then during it ask him when he paid it.

jcr16

perhaps he has paid it online or used his mobile.

it is very clear you don't trust him, as otherwise why would you pick up the phone to see what the last number that was dialed. can you really be living your whole married life double checking everythig he has done or not done. i can understand your worried about the pyament getting there on time. but you have to fully trust your partner. if the credit card is in his name and he is choosing not to pay it , it is up to him. you can't be his mother and follow his everymove and get hims to prove all his actions to you, like you are doing by asking to see the bank account. you are his partner. i'm sorry but i personally feel you are being a bit unreasonable.

floss2

I was also about to suggest that he has paid online, as I or my OH would do.

Perhaps you need to sort out your trust issues before the wedding & honeymoon?

poet123

I certainly wouldn't ask him to let you look at his online banking, that is a very accusatory approach. I would simply ask him whatthe final fugure owing was, and if that had left a huge hole in his account. No accusations, just a conversation opener.

Littlemadam83

Hi guys,

Right, agreed, him lying to me in the past has affected my trust issues.

I have not been suspicious on anything for a long time, it just so happened this thing did not ring true.

I know this cant go on, but how do I stop it? Let him lie to me? Or end it? Also, someone said about paying it online, he expressly said he did it on the home phone.

I appreciate all opinions, good and bad xxx

poet123

If it transpires you were right and he had lied, then you do have to sit down and get this sorted. Trust is the foundation of any good marriage, without it you cannot get through.

Equally, unfounded accusation is wounding, and an indicator something is amiss, so my advice would be to be very sure he is lying before having it out with him, and if you are wrong, take personal steps to stop the suspicions building.

busiscoming2

Oh god, I have just realised you have only just got married! Not a good start to married life is it?
I understand your needing to know and things not ringing true (reminds me of my ex husband). I would go with the casual 'how much was the final figure' and use the tack of just making sure they havent charged any interest.

Sorry to be blunt but you will never change or trust a liar!

Littlemadam83

Thanks Poet - IF he has lied, we have been here before and really dont know how to move forward.

If I am wrong then I agree I need to get my head sorted, have no idea currently how, but it needs to be done. I hate the way I pick up on things that shouldnt be an issue, ie when a friend retells a story in which I happened to be there and it is different to the truth really winds me up.

Something made me doubt what he said earlier, and i am glad I checked the phone to see nothing had been dialled. He has to be lying about something. xxx

poet123

Actually, this is a good opportunity to sort out this issue. In most cases you may suspect a lie, but cannot prove it. Here, it is black or white, did he or didnt he pay the bill this morning, and the statement will show which it is. Either way use this as a tool to get to the root of his/your issue.

Good luck.