I was wrong, how do I make it up? He didnt Lie!

Fang_3

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

:rotfl: crazy mad forum, you are all so faultless aren't you ?

Yes. Thank you. You know where the little red cross is, so don't let us keep you here.;)

Blackpool_Saver

Fang wrote: »

Yes. Thank you. You know where the little red cross is, so don't let us keep you here.;)

well it's not where you're avatar should be and that's for sure lol lol

Fang_3

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

well it's not where you're avatar should be and that's for sure lol lol

As I thought. You're (note the correct usage) not playing with a full deck.

Littlemadam83

Just thought I'd update those that care rather than want to crucify me :eek:

I apologised profusely, listened to what he had to say, had no excuses, and the talk stayed as a talk. I feel really sorry for him as I have just been a complete gimp, and am trying to make it up to him. It will take time, but I believe this will make us stronger.

I am still feeling highly strung for no reason whatsoever so need to sort myself out in more ways than one really. I think I just need to have something to look forward to now as this void is making me miserable.

The harsh messages from before, I kind of agree to a certain extent. At the same time, there were multiple lies that I know of and to me in a relationship that is not acceptable. I know it's extreme, but it's just my views, the same as some people will not like sarcastic people, or bossy people, I dont like lying.

Also, regarding the him being home late, I was more concerned he wasnt going to come home at all, and he never gets back after 6 and was just worried he was going to stay somewhere else and all the build up of trying to get forgiveness was not going to happen.

Yes I blew this out of proportion, but god have I learnt and felt the pain of nearly pushing him away xxx

mikey72

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Just thought I'd update those that care rather than want to crucify me :eek:


Also, regarding the him being home late, I was more concerned he wasnt going to come home at all, and he never gets back after 6 and was just worried he was going to stay somewhere else and all the build up of trying to get forgiveness was not going to happen.

Yes I blew this out of proportion, but god have I learnt and felt the pain of nearly pushing him away xxx

Not sure which side you want to put me on, but it should have been about you making up to him, not about you getting forgiveness from him.

peachyprice

I'm glad you talked rather than argued!

I hope you can both now draw a line under the whole episode. No more little white lies for him, and no more looking for little white lies from you.

I hope next time you think he's not being 100% honest you can look back on this and gain some perspective. He wasn't lying, but was it really worth all the heartache of trying to prove he was, and even if he had been and had paid the bill 2 hours later once he got to work would it really have been the end of the world. Hopefully in the future you can stop sweating the small stuff and looking for problems where there are none and concentrate on the big stuff :heartsmil

Who said this being married malarky was easy

Littlemadam83

mikey72 wrote: »

Not sure which side you want to put me on, but it should have been about you making up to him, not about you getting forgiveness from him.

Getting forgiveness involves making it up to him, but I see the F word as more in depth than "just giving him a steak and a blow job", I see it more as understanding the core issues, understanding his hurt and trying to make things better and reassure him

Littlemadam83

thanks Peachy - YES YES YES to not swetting the small stuff! I cannot believe how out of context and control I made this get, and it really was not worth the heartache and tears, and putting him through it.

Thanks for your honest help Peachy, I would have gone insane without everyones opinions from the outside xxx

mikey72

But if your aim was to get forgiveness, for whatever reason, that means you are starting out with the aim of securing something for yourself, from a talk with your oh.
The whole point was that you were in the wrong, so the aspect of the evening should have been from his side. If he didn't want to forgive you, or couldn't, fair enough. If that was a good resolution for him, that should has been your aim too. He may not have forgiven you, (unless you checked by making him say by after asking him if he had), you don't really know.
Surely the aim should have been to discuss how you could trust him again, and to understand his upbringing which led to this?

GEEGEE8

You were born in the same year as me.. although my username was meant to say 83.. it just says 8 ! anyhow!

My point is, I still haven't completely grown up yet, and each time something big happens I grow up a little bit more.

Just stick with it, you have loads to learn yet and this is just the start.

As for filling the void.. can you get a hobby? or focus on savings as much money as possible by using the boards for advice etc. That can be a hobby in itself! lol