I was wrong, how do I make it up? He didnt Lie!

Clive_Woody

jamespir wrote: »

yes but backing him into a corner isnt gonna help the situation is it

Another scenario to consider

Woman: Hi Honey I got some lovely new shoes
Man: They look nice, were they expensive?
Woman: No, an absolute steal at only £15
Man: That seems very cheap for Jimmy Choos
Woman: I thought so too
Man: Are you sure they were only £15?
Woman: Yes
Man: Do you swear on my life, the life of our children and everything that is dear to you?
Woman: Uuuummmmm errrrrrr

Sometimes it is better to accept that we all use 'inaccuracies' to cover up things we would rather not discuss (be it shoes, !!!!!! or whatever). I am blissfully unaware of how much my wife spends on various Radley handbags and I think is probably best it remain that way.

jamespir

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

He needs to accept his part in it too, it's not ALL you, if he hadn't lied in the past this wouldn't have happened

yes but he lied as he felt he had no choice (due to events in his chid hood) but it seem the op is still hung up over that incedent and he is gonna have it hanging over his head forever

Littlemadam83

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

I remember all these types of rucks when I was a youngster, it's all part of learning in relationships, I hope that doesn't sound condescending LM

Not at all BS I appreciate you saying. Sometimes I feel isolated and alone, so knowing that its not just me really does help.

Thank you missy xxx

Littlemadam83

jamespir wrote: »

yes but he lied as he felt he had no choice (due to events in his chid hood) but it seem the op is still hung up over that incedent and he is gonna have it hanging over his head forever

It isn't just the one time, there have been others too, but this was the most painful, added up together they hurt. Then at the same time he is not a compulsive liar, or i would not have married him xxx

jamespir

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

It isn't just the one time, there have been others too, but this was the most painful, added up together they hurt. Then at the same time he is not a compulsive liar, or i would not have married him xxx

so have you ever lied to him ? be it the tiniest little lie

mrsg26

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Then he is stuck at work with his OH telling him that whatever he says the phone has proved he has lied.

Cant believe this thread is still going on considering you now know the truth. I know from experience that the phone companies can get it wrong. Years ago my mum used to get prank calls - she asked BT to put a block on the person that was doing it - a day later my then BF called my mobile and said i cant get through on your house phone - well my mum called him every name under the sun and accused all his family of making prank calls to us - it got very agressive and he was pleading that it wasnt him - turns out BT put a block on 2 people that day - the real person that was making the calls and also my Boyfriend cos he had also rang that day. My Ex couldnt believe that i even doubted him and it pretty much was the end of our 3yr relationship!!!! Trust is something that you need in a relationship - you thought he did something - u came on here looking for other people to back you up and then practically launched an 'attack' on your new husband because the Phone companies 'dont lie'. In doing so you have pretty much backed your husband into a corner and i think you will have to go a long long way to make it up... starting with your own insecurity issues!! Sorry dont want to sound harsh but to me it sounds like you are the one who has been unreasonable and are trying to justify it based on a little white lie he told a while back...he prob only did so knowing how you would react. I think you should stop trying to defend yourself on here and put more effort in to how you are going to save your marriage..your husband needs reassurance that your are not going to do this again!

Littlemadam83

jamespir wrote: »

so have you ever lied to him ? be it the tiniest little lie

Seriously no, he knows what I buy, where I am, who i talk to etc etc. I have no need to lie, I really am an open book and tell it how it is. I am like this at work, and rather be honest than BS.

Mrsg26 - I read up last night on how to overcome trust issues and have pretty much got it into my head how I have to change to be able to move forward, and if I find it really hard I am going to say to him that I need counselling.

You are so right with the example you gave. I had no reason to doubt hubby but I did, and it is my shortcomings that have caused this and now i need to rectify, there is currently not much I can do, and am just counting down the minutes til he gets home. All I know is I am going to apologise again, have a nice meal ready to be cooked in the fridge and hope he is ready to atleast say something.

Littlemadam83

Oh and yes, I am having a mini insecure patch which you are right about xxxx

(not being sarcastic, just forgot to add that bit in xx)

jamespir

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Oh and yes, I am having a mini insecure patch which you are right about xxxx

(not being sarcastic, just forgot to add that bit in xx)

and your insecurities will ruin your marriage you need to work throught it

mrsg26

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Seriously no, he knows what I buy, where I am, who i talk to etc etc. I have no need to lie, I really am an open book and tell it how it is. I am like this at work, and rather be honest than BS.

Mrsg26 - I read up last night on how to overcome trust issues and have pretty much got it into my head how I have to change to be able to move forward, and if I find it really hard I am going to say to him that I need counselling.

You are so right with the example you gave. I had no reason to doubt hubby but I did, and it is my shortcomings that have caused this and now i need to rectify, there is currently not much I can do, and am just counting down the minutes til he gets home. All I know is I am going to apologise again, have a nice meal ready to be cooked in the fridge and hope he is ready to atleast say something.

Well all i can say is that i hope you and your husband can put this behind you and move on. Good luck x