I was wrong, how do I make it up? He didnt Lie!

Littlemadam83

Hi guys,

I am really unsure where to go with this one. I will start with what happened.

He has a credit card that we used to put the honeymoon onto (0%). The 7th July is the date it needs to be in their account by and today off the back of nothing my husband said he had paid off the debt before work this morning.

I thought it odd as we both rush around in the morning, and something just didnt seem right.

I went home for lunch, had a look at the last caller redial and it was another number I had dialled days ago. Prior to this he told me had used the home phone, and I called another number just to check it was still working and the last call came up no problems.

He is adament he has paid it, he has lied to me in the past, but not about money. I really dont know what to do as the fact is telling me he hasn't. Also we are looking to get a mortgage and I know we wont be accepted because of late payments made.

Really not sure where to take this, we argued alot this weekend, and I dont think I could take anymore tears.

Any help and insight greatly appreciated.

Thank you xxx

poet123

He will be found out when the statement arrives so why would he mention it (out of the blue)if it wasnt right? I would just ask him to remind you what the final settlement amount was tonight and take it from there.

dreambirdie

littlemadam havent got much advice i just totally sympathise with you, my OH is the exact same, he tells little white lies about the silliest of things. when i ask him why he does this its normally cos he thinks it makes things better to lie and say things are sorted out/ paid or whatever than just bloody well telling the truth!! rant over

Littlemadam83

Thanks Poet, BT have a cool thing that shows all usage, but needs to be updated so wont find out until tomorrow.

I hope i'm wrong, just dont know what to do if i'm not.

Littlemadam83

dreambirdie wrote: »

littlemadam havent got much advice i just totally sympathise with you, my OH is the exact same, he tells little white lies about the silliest of things. when i ask him why he does this its normally cos he thinks it makes things better to lie and say things are sorted out/ paid or whatever than just bloody well telling the truth!! rant over

Yep, Oh is the same as this too! Things that dont matter are suddenly made to matter as he has felt the need to lie over it.

How do you cope?

xxx

dreambirdie

i just try and bite my tounge lol, ive learnt to pick and choose my arguments with him(currently pregnant so i try to keep myself cool calm and collected) although it just seems to be he lies about financial stuff more than anything. his point of view is that its his money so its up to him whether to pay bills etc on time. we are not financially connected yet in any way. although like you i worry for the future, if he's blacklisted we wouldnt be able to get a mortgage etc. although i do have a budget planner for myself so i know what i have to pay and when, and what i need to keep money for. and i *think* my sensible attitude towards money is starting to rub off on him a bit. he sat down last month and made a little table of what he needed to withdraw from the bank and the amount he needed to keep in. i was quiet proud lol. i wonder why you OH has lied about paying it though?? there has to be a reason. does he have the money available to pay? maybe he doesnt and he's too afraid to tell you? thats usually what happens to my OH.

Fang_3

Why are you with someone who lies to you a lot? Do you not think that you're worth more than that?

Littlemadam83

Dreambirdie - that is so sweet! Am glad you are being a good influence on him, especially with a littl'un on the way - how exciting!

Fang - He doesn't lie all the time, but there has been a couple of times (one being about !!!!!! usage which I didnt have a problem with, and a couple of other minor things). It is also these previous incidents which occassionally make me doubt him on things.

It's making me sick not knowing the truth atm, I want to be wrong, even though he will hate me if I am xxxx

dreambirdie

try and keep calm ( easy for me to say i know my blood would probably be boiling if i were you) the important thing is to get to the bottom of WHY he lied.

JimmyTheWig

Might he have found all the paperwork he needed this morning so he could pay it at lunchtime? He could have said something like "That's the credit card bill sorted", safe in the knowledge that he'd done the hard part having maybe misplaced it previously?

Littlemadam83

And why he needs to be persistant in saying he has lied. Why not just put your hands up to it?

I am going to ask to see his online bank account tonight, if the BT usage thing doesnt update before then.

Can anyone tell me if I am being unreasonable?

xxx