Help with a child and a dog!

Person_one

ninky wrote: »

can i just counter the point made about contact with dogs being healthy for children. being around dogs does not reduce the chance of allergies or asthma and does not strengthen the immune system. many children suffer from pet allergies and being forced to be around animals that trigger these can be absolute misery and even life threatening (i speak from personal experience).

regarding the OPs situation, the mil needs to take responsibility for her dogs behaviour. there is no point blaming the dog or implying that it knows what it should or shouldn't do. some serious training needs to take place with expert advice (as clearly mil is clueless as to how to train her dog). no dog should be allowed to jump up and cause injury (even scratches). a well trained dog will be a joy to be around rather than a source of stress but that doesn't just happen by itself.

http://www.scienceagogo.com/news/20020728214213data_trunc_sys.shtml

http://www.flaglerorganics.com/dogs-reduce-asthmatic-development

There are more, but I don't have much time to google right now! Dogs in the house aren't good for a child with an existing allergy or asthma, but early exposure can prevent one developing.

ninky_2

Person_one wrote: »

http://www.scienceagogo.com/news/20020728214213data_trunc_sys.shtml

http://www.flaglerorganics.com/dogs-reduce-asthmatic-development

There are more, but I don't have much time to google right now! Dogs in the house aren't good for a child with an existing allergy or asthma, but early exposure can prevent one developing.

not all studes reach the same conclusions.....for me exposure to pets as a child did not stop me developing chronic asthma and pet /other allergies unfortunately.

http://www.ehjournal.net/content/7/1/28

Our study provides evidence that early-life exposure to cats increases the risk of asthma whereas exposure to dogs is protective. Our findings suggest that intermittent fetal and early-life exposure to farm animals increases the risk of allergic asthma in urban children visiting farms.

climbintheladderouttadebt

Thanks to all new posters! My OH called me from work earlier today and took on board what I had to say, mainly around training the dog. I've suggested, from a combination of others advice, to buy a new bowl and a training book/DVD for the dog for his birthday! Hopefully OH will be home Thursday night/Friday so we will sit and read through the posts together.

As regards the allergies thing, I am obviously not happy with a newborn ebing exposed to a lot of hair, but my main concern would of course be dog slobber. I have read lots of articles which state that dog saliva is 'cleaner' (for want of a better word) than human saliva, but I am acutely aware of just how sterile babies bits have to be ie you cannot wash the babys bottles in the washing up water but must sterilise them instead. I really want the dog trained before the baby visits and will be pushing this with OH and MIL to get the results I want.

ClareEmily wrote: »

I have a similar problem, my first baby is due at the end of September, and my dad has a terrier cross (who is food aggressive, and can be snappy, as my dad play fights with her), my in laws have a young samoyed (who is lovely but totally overexcited and can quite easily knock you over), my sister in law has a labrodoodle is far better behaved than the other two but even so is a large dog and an unknown around babies.

It would be lovely to be able to visit these relatives and not have the constant worry about if the dog is going to turn or not.

I'm beginning to get stressed about the whole situation already.

Hi ClareEmily,

Please try not to stress a great amount about it. I'd suggest having in mind how to approach scenarios before they happen, and perhaps having a word with people before you make any visits. I know I haven;t been as strong as I wanted to be about the dog thing in our family but I have told my OH that I won't visit MILs house of dog is not sorted out. I also told him it would reduce his mums stress levels if she didnt have to worry about the dog barking, jumping, stealing etc. Be assertive and stand your ground. If you're not happy, don't visit them at home but meet up for coffee/lunch etc.

I am worried MIL won't be consistent with the dog, nor understand the need to be. As I mentioned earlier, she lets my daughter feed the dog cereal then tells her off for feeding him chocolate! I always tell my daughter not to play with the dogs toys, and MIL does, too, but the dog's just sort of allowed to get away with grabbing anything. MIL isn;t the most houseproud of people and doesn;t put our daughters toys out of the way in most circumstances.

The garden table and daughters table are easily accessible to the dog. He often jumps up with front paws onto kitchen sides, dinner table, side table etc to grab what he wants. He's often seen with towels/washing etc in his mouth!

If daughter had a bowl of Pringles in her hand, the dog will get his head underneath and knock the contents onto the floor to get at them! There is nowhere I am happy for daughter to eat unless all of us are around and visits to MILs house get very stressful when I have to watch everything constantly.

My daughters split lip looks nasty today but its giving her no pain or discomfort. It's just so horrible to see the swelling and scabs on such a beautiful face!

Silveralice

OP, it sounds as if you are being very sensible. Bear in mind that "training" is not something you have done to a dog, like getting the car serviced, but an ongoing thing that requires active co-operation from the people who spend the most time with the dog. The dog could have lots of training from an expert trainer and behave beautifully when the trainer is there, but continue to behave exactly as it was doing before when it is in the previous situation with the MIL, unless she changes her behaviour. I'm a vet as well as a dog owner, and the behaviour you describe sounds perfectly normal for a young, lively Springer that has never been taught any manners. I think this is a classic case of the problem mainly resting with the owner, which is why I think you will need to get MIL to alter her behaviour with the dog to see any positive results. I hope this works out for you.

gratefulforhelp_2

I would never take my dog to someone else's house if it behaved like that, and I would keep it separate from young children visiting.

Does the MIL have problems respecting you and your family, or is she just besotted with the dog and a bit clueless about training it?

Person_one

ninky wrote: »

not all studes reach the same conclusions.....for me exposure to pets as a child did not stop me developing chronic asthma and pet /other allergies unfortunately.

http://www.ehjournal.net/content/7/1/28

Our study provides evidence that early-life exposure to cats increases the risk of asthma whereas exposure to dogs is protective. Our findings suggest that intermittent fetal and early-life exposure to farm animals increases the risk of allergic asthma in urban children visiting farms.

I wasn't exposed to any animals as an infant and I still developed asthma and allergies!

I wasn't talking about cats or farm animals so I won't respond to that bit.

It seems that some children will develop asthma and allergies regardless of dog contact, but in some contact may prevent it and it will never increase the risk. Unless your child already has asthma or an allergy, contact with (well behaved, safe) dogs is only a positive thing. Don't forget the psychological benefits and the prevention of crippling phobias.

climbintheladderouttadebt

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

I would never take my dog to someone else's house if it behaved like that, and I would keep it separate from young children visiting.

Does the MIL have problems respecting you and your family, or is she just besotted with the dog and a bit clueless about training it?

HAHA! Respect is not something she has shown easily in the past, in my opinion. Daughter has been spoilt rotten, affecting her behaviour towards people and her attitude to food. Thanks to MILs interfering, daughter's attitude is basically, haha, stuff you, you can;t make me, similar to MILs....

My daughters tiny and needs a good diet. I fight and fight to ensure she eats healthy food with occasional treats. MIL fights and fights, well she did anyway, to ensure MY daughter (sometimes I feel like MIL thinks she's in charge) had treats all day everyday that we saw her.

To be honest, I think my MIL likes to 'care' for people and be the matriarch. In the right way, she is fantastic. BUT, her 'care' often results in very bad things, she used to buy her husband up to £15 worth of junk food on a trip to the shop, he'd had strokes and ongoing medical problems. She is a nurse(!) and reckons she knew his problems were heart related - he had a heart attack in March.

MILs not malicious but she really never seems to see the need for discipline in life. As a kid, my OH used to live on marmite pizza. Apparently she tried putting her foot down with food and he just refused to eat. He now freely admits he was too lazy to chew food as it made his jaw ache.

MILs attitude is just too relaxed for me and I am concerned that she will never show the dog the discipline he needs. Perhaps if she did, I might actually grow to like him. As it is, he's the only one really left to spoil (her eldest son works miles from home often 12 hour days) but she does do a lot for her best friend these days (biggest being a cruise she's paid for in November...). Having said that, I often feel like the wicked witch, as I get comments about my OH such as 'he's so upset... he needs his sleep...' etc etc. That's funny, he's upset he forgot to tell me we weren;t eating lunch, don't worry about the discomfort I'm feeling where I've not eaten for hours and I'm 7 months pregnant...!!!

Grrr sorry to go on, I think I'll feel better after a nap, I'm always grumpy when I'm tired! lol

noapron

I do sympathize. My sis is dog barmy: 4 chocolate labs, all undisciplined, who slobber to distraction. Until she had part of her house converted into a granny flat for herself, the whole place smelt of dog. And she chose not to believe that dogs affected asthma - but I have had the allergy tests. Now of course she does not want dog slobber over the Laura Ashley or in her new kitchen so I can visit without fear of taking a fortnight to get over it.

We know a couple whose afghan got v jealous when they had a baby. He did not go after the baby but went for the wife. How upset would your MIL be if something like that happened? It is crazy to let a pet rule the roost, and in the end, if it comes to choosing, your oh will choose his children every time. By all means give this springer a present but definitely have a full and frank with your mil - she does sound a bit thoughtless where your dd is concerned.

pinkshoes

Hello!

My OH has spoiled his springer cross breed rotten over the last 10 years, so I'm now trying to re-train him! At 11 years old, they're still relatively active and hyper!! No more sleeping in bedroom, sitting on sofas, or eating off plates! And when we're eating, I make him lie down, and if he starts dribbling (ew!), then he gets moved much further away as it puts me off my food. Plus if he's naughty and picks up something of mine, and won't release when I tell him to, then he gets to sit outside for 10 minutes and gets ignored!

It's never too late for dogs to learn, and so far so good! Hopefully by the time our baby is born (October), I won't have any naughty dog issues!! My latest tactic is trying to get him to sleep downstairs, so I can then put up a stair gate and not have the dog upstairs at all! At least that will keep all the fur in one area, as I hate having to vacuum the stairs.

I would just go ahead and discipline your MILs dog yourself, and if he does something you don't like, yell "NO" at him, and make him sit down and stay until he's told he can move! A 2 year old springer should also be getting about 2 hours of physical exercise per day. My OHs dog still gets 1.5 hours a day, even at 11 years old! It makes him MUCH calmer...

The_Next_Verse

I'm currently pregnant with my first and have two large breed dogs of my own.

They would not and will not ever be allowed to behave around my child as your MIL's dog has been allowed to behave around your little one.

I can't really offer much advice, as I've been lucky enough to have friends and relatives with dogs that are older and more laid back, and it's very different when it's your own! However, I am inclined to agree with the advice of taking to your MIL and explaining how you feel and try to get her to see if from your point of view.

Good luck with everything and I hope you manage to get it resolved without any animosity xx