Help with a child and a dog!

climbintheladderouttadebt

I'm here tonight because I can't take anymore of this situation, I am desperate and really need some good advice from many perspectives.

Briefly (as poss!) I'm 7 months pregnant with fiances son, we have a daughter who's 3. My mother in law has a springer spaniel of nearly 2. The family LOVE dogs. Dog mad. Not me. Our daughter loves the dog like no-one else!

For awhile, the dog has jumped at, licked, and snatched toys off our little girl. I hate licky dogs but as he is not aggressive I grin and bear it. Most of the time. The dog even had a bath with our daughter last month (resulting smell was awful, & probably made worse by my stronger than usual sense of smell!).

My daughter can't have toys in her hand, or food, or anything as the dog will snatch them off her and eat/chew them. Her paddling pool has been popped, her garden toys chewed through etc. Now this all happens at mil's house but I still don;t like to see that my daughter can't just be left to play nicely without us having to chase the dog every 5 mins.

Daughter has received a few scratches from the dog jumping up but today she got a cut lip. She is fine but I'm angry and upset (and very hormonal!) and it has caused some tension between my fiance and I. This we can get over but my feelings towards the dog I just can't deal with in the same way.

I appreciate he is a puppy,a well-loved family pet, and my recently deceased father in laws favourite. I would not wish to see him put down/got rid of, or caged up just so we can visit.

BUT how in the hell do I cope with this in future? I have told OH tonight that we will not visit his mother's anymore, and instead meet for lunch/coffee/shopping etc., but I feel this might be a tad harsh. At the same time, I want to prevent these accidents from happening!

I'm also very worried about having a baby round there in a few months time as it means I cannot put him down anywhere for a second and I just cannot live in fear all the time!

How would anybody else react? Can I find an amicable compromise? I just don;t know what to do, I really am very stressed and upset tonight!

GEEGEE8

I think the dog should be put away when you are there, in the hallway or something?

Having a bath with a dog is probably not the most hygenic thing I can think of..

A split lip is nothing to be sniffed at (excuse the pun), I would not be happy either.

McKneff

That must be awful for youl

what does mother in law say about all the injuries.
Personally if this was happening in my house with my dog, it would automatically be seperated from the moment you walked into the house. !!!!!! I would be protecting my grandchildren, what on earth is she thinking of. Has she said anything to you.
You really need to talk to her.

Sequeena

The dog needs training. Springers are extremely excitable anyway. Can I ask how much walking time he gets?

I would suggest taking him (not you obviously ) to training classes and getting some good basic training done in the house ie, no jumping up, sit, down, stay, lay down etc

Do you have a crate? If not get yourself onto Ebay and get one. I got crates when my dogs were pups to help with toilet training but they make great dens and my dogs love them. If he begins to get too hyper put him in his crate with a chew toy for a while and let him calm down. Don't send him to it in anger as he will not see the crate as somewhere safe to be.

I'm currently using one of the crates as a big den for my cat and her 5 kittens :money:

Good luck, it can be very annoying having an untrained dog about and everyone thinks it is 'cute'.

ETA: Sorry, just realised the dog isn't yours. Hopefully you can pass these ideas onto your mother in law without her taking too much offense x

Silveralice

I have 4 dogs and 2 (older) children, and I would not let any of my dogs behave like this with any visiting child (not that they would). If we have small children visiting, I would expect to shut the dogs away unless the visitors were happy for me not to. I think it would be perfectly reasonable for you to ask for the dog to be shut away during your visits, or for MIL to keep him on a lead to exercise some control. The occasional jumping-up is one thing - it can be very hard to stop an excited young dog from doing that completely - but snatching toys and food is quite another. Perhaps you can all interact with the dog during walks, when he has something else to distract him, and then it would not be unreasonable for him to have a rest in another room while you visit MIL afterwards?

bungle82

I don't think that babies / young children and dogs mix, and I hate seeing kids being licked etc by a dog - all it would take is an upset/angry/excited moment where the dog turns and you could be looking at very serious injuries.

I think you should explain to your MIL that you are not happy and value your daughter's welfare, so would like the dog to be out of the room when she visits until she is a little older. Otherwise you'll be in a situation in a few months where you've got a dog jumping into the buggy etc when your new baby arrives - and there's no way that is safe.

Hopefully she'll be understanding but if she isn't remember that however awkward it is, your daughter's welfare is the most important thing here.

Good luck!

climbintheladderouttadebt

McKneff wrote: »

That must be awful for youl

what does mother in law say about all the injuries.
Personally if this was happening in my house with my dog, it would automatically be seperated from the moment you walked into the house. !!!!!! I would be protecting my grandchildren, what on earth is she thinking of. Has she said anything to you.
You really need to talk to her.

Aha, what she says is the BEST bit!! (sorry for the sarcasm, I'm so wound up I feel sick and cannot sleep!)

Last week, the scratch on her face was from falling off the bed (although it was the exact spot the dogs claw caught her and appeared after the incident, not before, if that makes sense!)

This time she bit her lip!!! I do wonder what it'll be next - she chewed her own hand?! (Sorry I can't seem to stop! My OH is a saint for puttin up with my digs!)

Thanks guys for the quick replies! MIL has a dog cage, and he was eventually put in it today, after scratching a second childs face - said child was in his fathers arms so had jumped quite high to 'say hello'!!

When he's tired, the dog is so sweet, and the excitedness can come as quite a surprise when you're not used to it/expecting it. I wish she would get him trained properly, MIL has attempted it but seems to give up too easily. I believe she may not have known what she was getting herself into when she bought him, but I don't feel she's being responsible enough now.

When my OH (the apple of her eye!) says anything, she just sort of shrugs it off, and says oh hes a puppy, hes just excited, dont get yourself worked up etc. etc.

This is also the woman who thinks her son needs to sleep soundly in bed whilst I head off to 'sleep' on an uncomfortable sofa (because his snoring disturbs what little rest I can get) as he needs his rest so much - and I don't?!

Honestly, sometimes I think I'm in the twilight zone or something!

I'd love to sit down with my MIL, I actually love her to bits, which is what makes it all so much harder I suppose. But how on earth do I start off a conversation about the dog and his lack of training?

He gets walked most mornings now, in the local park, which is an improvement as before my fil passed away in March, he rarely got walked at all. Otherwise he runs around the living room and garden.

God help you if you're in his way when he does this (being so big at 7 months pregnant doesn't make me all that stable, either, and I'm frightened that one day I'll be knocked right off my feet!)

Sequeena

Just adding to my point as I know one of the arguments against crates is that they're small and essentially prisons for dogs.

The 2 crates I have are 2 of the biggest you can buy and they easily fit my German Shepherd and mastiff with room to spare.

Here's the modified crate for my cat and her kittens. You can see there's plenty of room

LauraN_3

I really feel for you. My MIL has a dog and so do we but they both know to behave themselves when my 7 month old son is around and if they get a bit excited they both get put in another room to calm down. Our dog has never been allowed to go near us or our son when we have food. She (the dog) does try and sneak in for a lick of my son's face but no snatching and she wouldn't dare touch his toys.

I think your MIL needs to law down the law with the dog and let him know who's boss. Sounds like some basic training is needed. If my MIL let her dog do this to my son I would go crazy and so would my partner. He'd be the first to tell his mum it's not acceptable. And what the dog is doing is definitely not acceptable.

Tell your MIL how you feel in the nicest way possible and ask your partner to speak to her as well. If the dog is snatching, jumping, scratching etc just now if it gets really excited it might do worse by accident. Nip it in the bud asap if you can

Sequeena

OP I really feel for you as springers are so biddable and easy to train. It doesn't take much to train a solid stay, I really wish more people would put the effort in!

If it gets too much stop going there. That will get the point across.

BeenieCat

Oh my god, your MIL needs a kick up the backside :mad: (edit - lol this sounds harsh now that i've read your other post sorry :rotfl:)

I have a Springer, a 7 year old and a 6 month old. I split with my ex when pregnant and was worried about having the dog on my own as the dog didn't listen to me ever!!

However the dog soon realised i was in charge even without her master here. My dog wouldn't even dream of snatching anything out of baby's hand, if she's ever so much as sniffed in that direction she's been disciplined and now she knows not to even LOOK in baby's direction when she's eating, or any of us for that matter, can't stand dogs who sit begging.

It's a hard situation given that it's not your dog... If MIL isn't discliplining the dog consistently then it will continue to be naughty. For the time being all i could suggest is that you continue to scold the dog yourself, everytime it does something near your child. I use a different voice when scolding her lol, works for us.

Springers are such lovely dogs, but like any dog, can be naughty if untrained.

Why don't you offer to take the dog for a bit and let your OH loose on the dog for some intensive training? Lots of walks, consistent discipline. I know that's probably not an option but it doesn't look like MIL will do this,.