Help with a child and a dog!

Fang_3

On the upside at least your daughter will grow up without a fear of dogs. I think you need to speak to your MIL about this, often people are blind about their pets, just as they are about their children, and while a few scratches won't do any lasting damage, if the dog gets carried away then it could. I can see both sides from the child's point of view because I grew up with my grandparent's dogs who were massive, and boisterous but completely amazing. Yes I occasionally got scratched and once winded after the biggest ran straight through me, but it was nothing serious and those dogs were amazing with all of us kids, probably because even though they were treated as part of the family, they were still treated as dogs and knew their place. My aunt had a dog though and because of it I am extremely wary of Staffs. He was just an evil dog, didn't lick, just sat right in front of you and stared. You couldn't play with it, or even stroke it because it would just start a low growl and bare its teeth. But this was only to me, it was perfectly fine with everyone else, and fantastic with other kids, but for some reason it hated me, and I've never forgotten it. Still if I see a staff off a lead then I worry, and I know it's ridiculous and I've met some fantastic staffs but the memory is still there.

Becles

I think it's the MIL that needs training first and not the dog

I've got a three year old and two collies - one is 5 years old and the other is 9 months. They both know they shouldn't jump up at people, and they should never take food or toys from my daughter. Just this evening, the youngest pup sneaked into the dining room while we were eating, but I told him "go away" in a firm voice and he left the room.

I've got a crate and second all the advice that has been given about using them. The pup has just put himself to bed in his as he's tired now!

The dog needs training and it needs training correctly. You're going to have to talk to MIL and either get her to train the dog, or take the dog to training classes.

How about buying a book or a DVD first? You could show her that and explain how the dog should be behaving and perhaps help her carry out some of the things first. She might listen if you've gone to the trouble of already getting something to help.

BeenieCat

Fang wrote: »

On the upside at least your daughter will grow up without a fear of dogs.

How so? When she gets her face clawed off by the dog then i'm pretty sure she'll be petrified of them for life.

And then MIL will say "oh, he's never done anything like that before". As they all say... Well duh, because if it had it'd probably have been destroyed before now!

climbintheladderouttadebt

Sequeena wrote: »

Just adding to my point as I know one of the arguments against crates is that they're small and essentially prisons for dogs.

The 2 crates I have are 2 of the biggest you can buy and they easily fit my German Shepherd and mastiff with room to spare.

Here's the modified crate for my cat and her kittens. You can see there's plenty of room

Awww that is a very cute pic!! The dog cage/crate MIL has seems big enough for him, but I am no expert. He's left in it if MIL goes out for a few hours (no more than 4 hours at a time) though he often gets excited enough when she goes out that he spills his water everywhere!

On the point of getting our daughter to help with training as she grows up, I think it's a fantastic idea. I didn't grow up with animals and so do not have the love for them that those who've known pets all their lives have. I really want to encourage a nice relationship between my kids and pets, and my daughter's starting to learn how to react to the dog. He barks at visitors arriving and leaving, and today she was very quiet with him instead of shouting at him to shut up. We were quite shocked to see the dog open the window to bark through, however! A nudge of his nose against the handle, a couple of nudges with his head and bob's your uncle! Lol

Spendless

What led to MIL plonking LO and the dog in the bath together? The mind boggles! Had you popped out or had she just taken over? If she takes over then you have to be firm and say 'no, I don't want<child's name> doing that. If she can't be trusted to keep child and dog away then you can't leave your LO with her without you being there.

Fang_3

BeenieCat wrote: »

How so? When she gets her face clawed off by the dog then i'm pretty sure she'll be petrified of them for life.

And then MIL will say "oh, he's never done anything like that before". As they all say... Well duh, because if it had it'd probably have been destroyed before now!

As long as you don't overreact. It doesn't sound as if this is the family's first dog, and the MIL's children seemed to survive alright, so it may be that the MIL is just spoiling the dog more because her husband, who may have trained the dogs, has just died. A stern talking to is what's needed, and then the dog being trained properly. But I think locking the dog away and being so overprotective could be counteractive, and so a balance needs to be struck.

Sequeena

climbintheladderouttadebt wrote: »

Awww that is a very cute pic!! The dog cage/crate MIL has seems big enough for him, but I am no expert. He's left in it if MIL goes out for a few hours (no more than 4 hours at a time) though he often gets excited enough when she goes out that he spills his water everywhere!

On the point of getting our daughter to help with training as she grows up, I think it's a fantastic idea. I didn't grow up with animals and so do not have the love for them that those who've known pets all their lives have. I really want to encourage a nice relationship between my kids and pets, and my daughter's starting to learn how to react to the dog. He barks at visitors arriving and leaving, and today she was very quiet with him instead of shouting at him to shut up. We were quite shocked to see the dog open the window to bark through, however! A nudge of his nose against the handle, a couple of nudges with his head and bob's your uncle! Lol

Get your MIL to buy one of the mason cash water bowls. My mastiff was the same and the bowls are so heavy she's not spilt any water since we've had it (considering she's 7 stone and has bust through several locked doors it's a very good bowl )



Woops sorry the pic is so big!

climbintheladderouttadebt

BeenieCat wrote: »

How so? When she gets her face clawed off by the dog then i'm pretty sure she'll be petrified of them for life.

And then MIL will say "oh, he's never done anything like that before". As they all say... Well duh, because if it had it'd probably have been destroyed before now!

She actually said it with the last dog, a mini schnauzer. He started biting and was put down in April, we think he had cancer in his leg for a second time. She said he'd never bitten before then admitted he'd bitten her husband a few times (she blamed the husband of course!)

Daughter was scared of dogs actually til she got used to MILs 2 - she met another dog who jumped into her pushchair upon visiting a friend - we didnt go back anyway!

climbintheladderouttadebt

Spendless wrote: »

What led to MIL plonking LO and the dog in the bath together? The mind boggles! Had you popped out or had she just taken over? If she takes over then you have to be firm and say 'no, I don't want<child's name> doing that. If she can't be trusted to keep child and dog away then you can't leave your LO with her without you being there.

Daughter went to stay overnight to give us some time alone and let MIL enjoy time with her. It's the 2nd time I've ever left them together overnight (lol!) as MIL always spoilt our daughter so much with choc & crisps, even for breakfast when we were there and I couldn't stand it! It's taken a year for us to reach a compromise on the whole treats and toys thing. On so many occasions when we said no, MIL just took over and gave daughter what she wanted anyway!

Am dreading what could happen when MIL looks after daughter when i have this baby..!!!

Person_one

Regular contact with dogs from an early age is very beneficial for children, so it would be great if you could sit down with MIL and work out a plan. As well as the fact that it strengthens their immune systems and reduces the risk of asthma and allergies, if you can prevent a child developing a fear of dogs you are doing them a huge favour. I know a child of 8 who is terrified and it really affects his quality of life as dogs are everywhere! Being walked down the street, tied up outside shops, looking out of house and car windows, waiting at the school gates etc.