Help with a child and a dog!

Morganarla

BeenieCat wrote: »

You are right, but i've heard lots of Springer owners say that they're just like puppies. My vet said they don't usually calm down til they're about 5 lol

This is normally because they either aren't castrated ('cos he's soooo cute and daft, why would we wanna chop his balls off?!'), or are not stimulated enough or given enough exercise, or are badly brought up in general. This is in my experience anyway!! :mad:

Breed and/or age is not an excuse for bad behaviour. Any dog can be impeccably behaved from any age if handled in the correct way.

Person_one

MrsMcLaren wrote: »

This is normally because they either aren't castrated ('cos he's soooo cute and daft, why would we wanna chop his balls off?!'), or are not stimulated enough or given enough exercise, or are badly brought up in general. This is in my experience anyway!! :mad:

Breed and/or age is not an excuse for bad behaviour. Any dog can be impeccably behaved from any age if handled in the correct way.

I can tell you've never met my dog! Training and handling of him gets the job done 90% but that last 10% is pure instinct and anyone who thinks they would be able to eradicate it is welcome to give me any tips or come round and try!

I'm not suggesting that the MIL has tried everything, but it may need to be recognised that no amount of training on her part will make this dog entirely reliable around children, and if that's the case then separating them and only having very closely supervised contact will have to do.

Spendless

climbintheladderouttadebt wrote: »

Daughter went to stay overnight to give us some time alone and let MIL enjoy time with her. It's the 2nd time I've ever left them together overnight (lol!) as MIL always spoilt our daughter so much with choc & crisps, even for breakfast when we were there and I couldn't stand it! It's taken a year for us to reach a compromise on the whole treats and toys thing. On so many occasions when we said no, MIL just took over and gave daughter what she wanted anyway!

Am dreading what could happen when MIL looks after daughter when i have this baby..!!!

Ha, ha, well there's your problem. It was the 2nd time my SIL had had mine o/night on the prev occassions she helped someone move house over 50 miles away instead of looking after our kids as promised and intended leaving a 16yo in charge o/night and informed us when we were in France with no way of getting home! In fact get your MIL to move in my SIL, since they're both on their own and they can enjoy each others company discussing how other people just don't understand their dogs.:D

Seriously-you are going to have to say something and get your OH backing you, otherwise you are not going to feel at ease when your kids are there.

climbintheladderouttadebt

From previous comments my MIL has made I believe the dog was at least partially trained at one point. He knew heel etc. He's certainly able to learn what is necessary. I shall look into training schools, books, DVDs etc, and perhaps buy something and give it to her along with a nice heavy waterbowl as a present for the dog, I'm sure his birthday is approaching!

I really would love my kids and the dog to live side by side in a fun and friendly way, as Fang has talked about doing as a child. When MILs dog is calm and cuddly, the bond between them is magical, and whilst I woulsn't opt to sit and cuddle him, I love that my daughter has made up her own mind and loves him so much.

I think I may show some comments from here to my MIL (perhaps not mine though, I feel so guilty!) as Tanith has suggested. My OH will certainly be reading this on his return at the weekend (or I'll email him a link this week if he can get online on the ship).

LOL Scruffy96uk, I see what you mean, i'm glad you made sense of it! I know I ramble, I have a lot of pent-up worry and dissatisfaction to vent and can go off not making much sense!

Thanks again to all posters, my mind is so at rest about this now and it will be so nice to be able to sleep knowing there are solutions to try. I was dreading the thought of trying to sleep whilst all this was on my mind (the wedding issue caused a few bad nights last month! It's never-ending! lol)

climbintheladderouttadebt

MrsMcLaren wrote: »

This is normally because they either aren't castrated ('cos he's soooo cute and daft, why would we wanna chop his balls off?!'), or are not stimulated enough or given enough exercise, or are badly brought up in general. This is in my experience anyway!! :mad:

Breed and/or age is not an excuse for bad behaviour. Any dog can be impeccably behaved from any age if handled in the correct way.

I know the dog's been 'done', I agree that his discipline needs to be dealt with, and I do wonder if his exercise is enough. He may be walked daily (every morning) and not just most mornings. Does that constitute enough exercise and stimulation? MIL has a ball launcher to throw tennis balls for him to catch and bring back and on visits to the park we've accompanied them on, he gets a good 20-30 mins of play, running etc. and is absolutely cream crackered when he's finished!

BeenieCat

climbintheladderouttadebt wrote: »

I know the dog's been 'done', I agree that his discipline needs to be dealt with, and I do wonder if his exercise is enough. He may be walked daily (every morning) and not just most mornings. Does that constitute enough exercise and stimulation? MIL has a ball launcher to throw tennis balls for him to catch and bring back and on visits to the park we've accompanied them on, he gets a good 20-30 mins of play, running etc. and is absolutely cream crackered when he's finished!

Springers thrive on training, using their brains, so while he gets enough exercise on the walks it's not overly stimulating to fetch ball back and forth. My ex just did stuff with ours like whistle commands and say, throwing golf balls into the overgrowth and her finding them all in the order he threw them in. It sounds simple i know but it really gets them going, but you need to be in charge if the dog will take any notice! I am not as good as my ex at doing all this stuff but we do basics like launch the tennis ball, make her sit.....sit.... then go fetch it when i say she can, not when she wants to. Then she knows i'm boss. It really does help though.

ClareEmily

I have a similar problem, my first baby is due at the end of September, and my dad has a terrier cross (who is food aggressive, and can be snappy, as my dad play fights with her), my in laws have a young samoyed (who is lovely but totally overexcited and can quite easily knock you over), my sister in law has a labrodoodle is far better behaved than the other two but even so is a large dog and an unknown around babies.

It would be lovely to be able to visit these relatives and not have the constant worry about if the dog is going to turn or not.

I'm beginning to get stressed about the whole situation already.

kr15snw

My mum has 2 springers and I can understand the jumping thing, we have to hold ours back while they say 'hello' when people ask as they are just nuts but once they've said hello they calm down (normally dumping their head on our lap with the look of 'please stroke me, pleeeeaaassseeee'). But they would NEVER snatch food or toys (unless it was their toys) out of anyones hand!! That is not a good thing!

My SIL has a beautiful border collie and 2 kids (2 and 4) and the dog was there before the kids. Cassie was tought that she has her toys, and the kid's have their toys. Cassie is only allowed to play with her toys and the kids are tought not to play with cassie's toys.
With regards to food Cassie is not allowed ANY food unless it's in her bowl or on the floor (if the kids drop something it's fair game! Meaning you can guess where the dog sits at dinner time, lol). The kids know this and on a few occassions have put a sandwhich on the floor to lose it to the dog in seconds. But the kids quite often put food on the coffee table (which is very low) and the dog won't touch it

I would speak to your fiance first (without getting hormonal, which I know is super hard) and explain how you feel and get his opinion on the situation. I would then try and get him to talk to his mum and explain your not keen on the dog snatching food / toys and a newborn baby could easily get hurt

Errata

I hope your MIL and OH read this post. She's an idiot and will be the first to have hysterics when the dog takes your child's nose off !

ninky_2

can i just counter the point made about contact with dogs being healthy for children. being around dogs does not reduce the chance of allergies or asthma and does not strengthen the immune system. many children suffer from pet allergies and being forced to be around animals that trigger these can be absolute misery and even life threatening (i speak from personal experience).

regarding the OPs situation, the mil needs to take responsibility for her dogs behaviour. there is no point blaming the dog or implying that it knows what it should or shouldn't do. some serious training needs to take place with expert advice (as clearly mil is clueless as to how to train her dog). no dog should be allowed to jump up and cause injury (even scratches). a well trained dog will be a joy to be around rather than a source of stress but that doesn't just happen by itself.