Help with a child and a dog!

climbintheladderouttadebt

bungle82 wrote: »

I don't think that babies / young children and dogs mix, and I hate seeing kids being licked etc by a dog - all it would take is an upset/angry/excited moment where the dog turns and you could be looking at very serious injuries.

I think you should explain to your MIL that you are not happy and value your daughter's welfare, so would like the dog to be out of the room when she visits until she is a little older. Otherwise you'll be in a situation in a few months where you've got a dog jumping into the buggy etc when your new baby arrives - and there's no way that is safe.

Hopefully she'll be understanding but if she isn't remember that however awkward it is, your daughter's welfare is the most important thing here.

Good luck!

Thank you! This is exactly how I feel and am dreading the rift it will put between us all - the entire family and all close friends seem to think the dog is the important one here. 1 friend even told my OH today that the dog shouldn't be in his cage to calm down and that it was unfair to treat him differently. It boggles my mind that people can believe that, and I try to envisage the situation as if I were a dog lover instead. I actually can't!!

Morganarla

2 years old is NOT a puppy. And this dogs behaviour is completely unacceptable. Completely.

Children need to be taught respect for animals, however the animal also needs to be taught respect for all beings around them too.

Totally appreciate might not be easy to talk to MIL about this, but just a thought - is the dog due a booster/worming/flea treatment at any point? Or anything else that necessitates a visit to the vets? If so, might be an idea to see if you can go along with MIL to the appointment, take DD with you, and gently ask your vets advice while in the consult room, or getting chatting with a nurse as you're paying. and tell them what you've tod us, but in a MIL friendly way of course!

If you came in to my surgery with that story in the manner I suggest above, as a nurse it's part of my role to instruct in behaviour advice as while, and it often takes someone at the vets or other impartial individual to make the owner see that their dog is badly behaved, and I would certainly be saying something quite firm.

Best of luck!

Spendless

God I feel for you having gone thru a similar thing recently when SIL's dog bit my dd. I asked SIL what happened, she blamed the kids despite not being in the room, denied that the dog had ever bitten before -till i mentioned names and claimed that all dogs did that. result SHE is not speaking to me???!!! My OH was worse than useless in handling this so you need to get yours on board. You can not solve anything if someone is 'in denial' about what their dog is like.

climbintheladderouttadebt

BeenieCat wrote: »

Oh my god, your MIL needs a kick up the backside :mad:

I have a Springer, a 7 year old and a 6 month old. I split with my ex when pregnant and was worried about having the dog on my own as the dog didn't listen to me ever!!

However the dog soon realised i was in charge even without her master here. My dog wouldn't even dream of snatching anything out of baby's hand, if she's ever so much as sniffed in that direction she's been disciplined and now she knows not to even LOOK in baby's direction when she's eating, or any of us for that matter, can't stand dogs who sit begging. Thank you! I'm not mad then!! It actually puts me off eating - he licks my plate & everything!!

It's a hard situation given that it's not your dog... If MIL isn't discliplining the dog consistently then it will continue to be naughty. For the time being all i could suggest is that you continue to scold the dog yourself, everytime it does something near your child. I use a different voice when scolding her lol, works for us. When we shout at the dog, we're told not to. It frightens him!!! I try to praise him if he 'drops' something on request or whatever. MIL gives him treats to get him to drop the toys or whatever he has taken!

Springers are such lovely dogs, but like any dog, can be naughty if untrained.

Why don't you offer to take the dog for a bit and let your OH loose on the dog for some intensive training? Lots of walks, consistent discipline. I know that's probably not an option but it doesn't look like MIL will do this,.

I do think the training ourselves thing might be an idea, but OH is in the Navy and only visits at weekends (and not all of them). It's so hard to encourage our daughter not to give him things, either. MIL says no he cant eat the flowers etc blah blah but then feeds the dog cereal out of the fun-size boxes, giving our daughter conflicting messages. I am constantly gobsmacked at the way she runs her life in general it's just so chaotic!!

BeenieCat

climbintheladderouttadebt wrote: »

Thank you! This is exactly how I feel and am dreading the rift it will put between us all - the entire family and all close friends seem to think the dog is the important one here. 1 friend even told my OH today that the dog shouldn't be in his cage to calm down and that it was unfair to treat him differently. It boggles my mind that people can believe that, and I try to envisage the situation as if I were a dog lover instead. I actually can't!!

No, you're right. I've never been a dog lover myself, i had cats but i do love my dog to bits now. I just can't understand people who treat them like they should be treated equally to the humans in the house. Don't get me wrong my dog is spoilt and very much loved but she knows her place!!

I have a stairgate at a cupboard and she goes in the cupboard when i have visitors (unless we know them very well and i know they're good with her). Mainly cos she piddles when she's excited too :rotfl:

Sequeena

Spendless wrote: »

God I feel for you having gone thru a similar thing recently when SIL's dog bit my dd. I asked SIL what happened, she blamed the kids despite not being in the room, denied that the dog had ever bitten before -till i mentioned names and claimed that all dogs did that. result SHE is not speaking to me???!!! My OH was worse than useless in handling this so you need to get yours on board. You can not solve anything if someone is 'in denial' about what their dog is like.

I can't believe your SIL left the dog and child together. I would not blame the child or the dog (can't believe she had the gall to blame it all on your child). I am an avid dog lover but I also have the sense never to leave young children and dogs together! They just don't mix.

McKneff

I have a beautiful grand daughter who is 15 years old and she has a a massive scar on her lip and nose because of something just like this when she was seven at a dog show with her mothers mates dog. Mother did nothing about claiming on insurance to pay for plastic surgery because 'she;s my mate' Thank god she is no longer my DIL.

Do something about it now, it can have far reaching effects.

BeenieCat

climbintheladderouttadebt wrote: »

When we shout at the dog, we're told not to. It frightens him!!! I try to praise him if he 'drops' something on request or whatever. MIL gives him treats to get him to drop the toys or whatever he has taken!

Omg :eek::eek:

What a frustrating situation. Sadly i think it is going to take a lot before your MIL realises that the dog needs and craves discipline. Especially a hyperactive Springer.

MrsMcLaren wrote: »

2 years old is NOT a puppy. And this dogs behaviour is completely unacceptable. Completely.

You are right, but i've heard lots of Springer owners say that they're just like puppies. My vet said they don't usually calm down til they're about 5 lol

sashadesade

I'm afraid the only real solution is to have a proper talk with the MIL about this. Dismissing it as a puppy being playful is a moot point because as has been stated, this dog is too old to be a puppy! Your MIL needs to realise this isn't acceptable and she must get training for the dog if you're going to bring your children to her house. I'm sure she won't be happy to hear this, but it really has to be done.

Sequeena

Actually, treating the dog when it DROPS whatever it's not meant to have is a good thing. She's showing him that if he drops it he will get a treat. HOWEVER she should also train the leave command so that she doesn't have to treat the dog to drop whatever it has.

Please don't flame me