Advice Please, Alcohol and Sleepwalking!

jinky67

http://www.ias.org.uk/resources/factsheets/problemdrinking.pdf

****kara****

op I have the exact same problem with regards to the peeing! OH has pee'd on the landing, on my daughters clothes, in the toy box, bathroom floor (the complete opposite side to the toilet). He has even tried going out the front door in his boxers trying to find a toilet but luckily the chain was on. god knows what the neighbours would have thought! lol. Luckily for me he only drinks about twice a year and it only started about 2 yrs ago.

It's only when he is drunk so I try to make sure he doesn't drink too much or if he does he sobers up before going to bed which seems to help a bit

Savvy_Sue

****kara**** wrote: »

It's only when he is drunk so I try to make sure he doesn't drink too much or if he does he sobers up before going to bed which seems to help a bit

The idea that this is somehow YOUR problem to solve or responsibility to prevent is something that would worry me.

If someone can't control their bladder after drinking, or drinking too much, the simple answer is not to drink, or not to drink too much. But surely it's the drinker's responsibility to control him or herself, not their partner's?

And if they can't do that, then they should sleep in the bath, as per a previous post!

Fair enough with a child who still wets the bed you work on the problem together, but a grown up?

Or am I missing something ...

heretolearn_2

Brave post there from Grahame Carter - I think you should print this out and show it to the dirty !!!!er! He knows what he does, he just doesn't care and I'm not convinced by his recent vague promises. He needs to get down to AA - he IS an alcoholic. Drinking so much that you !!!! everywhere in your house is nothing like a normal relationship with drink. It is an alcoholic's relationship with drink; the fact that he seems to think it's normal and ok is a huge warning sign. And he does, because he keeps doing it. I'm tempted to tell you to start peeing in a bucket yourself and next time he does it tip the lot over his bloody head.

I've never heard of anything so disgusting! No-one would get to do that twice in MY house, I can tell you. If he won't do anything or ever does it again, next time he goes boozing he'd be locked out of the house. Go and !!!! and sleep in the street like the stinking wino he is.

I'm glad you've realised that he is no way a fit father at the moment. Does he know this? Does he want kids? Will this influence him to sort his act out - 5 years with no incidents and you MIGHT think about having kids with him? Also make him buy a new mattress and bedding and any other furniture he's ever !!!!ed on. Replace any of your clothes he's !!!!ed on. Buy a new carpet if he's !!!!ed on that. You've got to get this through to him that this is NOT NORMAL, it's totally foul.

Try pointing out to him that even dumb animals can be house trained so what's wrong with him for goodness sake? I'd be soooooo mad I'd practically have him dropping dead of fright. And I seriously would say I'd be chucking him out and I would mean it. My god.

Honestly, I'm flabberghasted. Why he does it, and even more so why you've put up with it!

jinky67

heretolearn wrote: »

Brave post there from Grahame Carter - I think you should print this out and show it to the dirty !!!!er! He knows what he does, he just doesn't care and I'm not convinced by his recent vague promises. He needs to get down to AA - he IS an alcoholic. Drinking so much that you !!!! everywhere in your house is nothing like a normal relationship with drink. It is an alcoholic's relationship with drink; the fact that he seems to think it's normal and ok is a huge warning sign. And he does, because he keeps doing it. I'm tempted to tell you to start peeing in a bucket yourself and next time he does it tip the lot over his bloody head.

I've never heard of anything so disgusting! No-one would get to do that twice in MY house, I can tell you. If he won't do anything or ever does it again, next time he goes boozing he'd be locked out of the house. Go and !!!! and sleep in the street like the stinking wino he is.

I'm glad you've realised that he is no way a fit father at the moment. Does he know this? Does he want kids? Will this influence him to sort his act out - 5 years with no incidents and you MIGHT think about having kids with him? Also make him buy a new mattress and bedding and any other furniture he's ever !!!!ed on. Replace any of your clothes he's !!!!ed on. Buy a new carpet if he's !!!!ed on that. You've got to get this through to him that this is NOT NORMAL, it's totally foul.

Try pointing out to him that even dumb animals can be house trained so what's wrong with him for goodness sake? I'd be soooooo mad I'd practically have him dropping dead of fright. And I seriously would say I'd be chucking him out and I would mean it. My god.

Honestly, I'm flabberghasted. Why he does it, and even more so why you've put up with it!

Very harsh, but also very fair:cool:

meritaten

I dont want to quote anyone in particular - but I really DONT think her OH is an alcoholic. he is a person who cannot handle alcohol when he drinks.

I dont know if any of the male posters will agree with me here - but the peer pressure to get totally hammered after a rugby (and possibly football match) is something I have seen from both sides of the bar.
I used to work as a barmaid (one of my many many jobs) and I can tell you that your OH probably doesnt even know how much he is drinking. For some reason some immature males find it very very funny when a mate gets so drunk he is legless - and will help that along by slipping shorts into their pints. I have seen it happen so many times. also they have this culture of playing 'drinking games' when a forfiet is usually to down a pint in one, or to drink a really strong shot of something like Tequila or 100% proof Vodka. Most sensible landlords banned these games a long time ago - but it still goes on, especially in rugby clubs.
Sit your Oh down and talk to him, ask him what goes on after matches. if he doesnt remember (very likely) then go along yourself one night and observe!
unfortunately, the men feel its not macho to limit their drinks or only have soft drinks.
do you think this maybe what is happening here?

pegasus, that was actually one of my milder rebukes to Fang! but I have also thanked and agreed with him/her when I feel he/she is right.
I respect Fang has a viewpoint and has the right to make it - and I also have the right to disagree with it - and I THINK Fang would agree with that!

Fang_3

meritaten wrote: »

I dont want to quote anyone in particular - but I really DONT think her OH is an alcoholic. he is a person who cannot handle alcohol when he drinks.

I dont know if any of the male posters will agree with me here - but the peer pressure to get totally hammered after a rugby (and possibly football match) is something I have seen from both sides of the bar.
I used to work as a barmaid (one of my many many jobs) and I can tell you that your OH probably doesnt even know how much he is drinking. For some reason some immature males find it very very funny when a mate gets so drunk he is legless - and will help that along by slipping shorts into their pints. I have seen it happen so many times. also they have this culture of playing 'drinking games' when a forfiet is usually to down a pint in one, or to drink a really strong shot of something like Tequila or 100% proof Vodka. Most sensible landlords banned these games a long time ago - but it still goes on, especially in rugby clubs.
Sit your Oh down and talk to him, ask him what goes on after matches. if he doesnt remember (very likely) then go along yourself one night and observe!
unfortunately, the men feel its not macho to limit their drinks or only have soft drinks.
do you think this maybe what is happening here?

pegasus, that was actually one of my milder rebukes to Fang! but I have also thanked and agreed with him/her when I feel he/she is right.
I respect Fang has a viewpoint and has the right to make it - and I also have the right to disagree with it - and I THINK Fang would agree with that!

You can agree or disagree as you see fit, and I would defend your right to do that. It doesn't make you any less wrong though.

If someone is so weak and pathetic that they cannot say 'no' to a drink, then they are, by definition, an alcoholic. I have absolutely no time for people that put alcohol above those that they profess to love. The OP's husband is disgusting to do that to her and not even make an attempt to stop.

jinky67

meritaten wrote: »

I dont want to quote anyone in particular - but I really DONT think her OH is an alcoholic. he is a person who cannot handle alcohol when he drinks.

I dont know if any of the male posters will agree with me here - but the peer pressure to get totally hammered after a rugby (and possibly football match) is something I have seen from both sides of the bar.
I used to work as a barmaid (one of my many many jobs) and I can tell you that your OH probably doesnt even know how much he is drinking. For some reason some immature males find it very very funny when a mate gets so drunk he is legless - and will help that along by slipping shorts into their pints. I have seen it happen so many times. also they have this culture of playing 'drinking games' when a forfiet is usually to down a pint in one, or to drink a really strong shot of something like Tequila or 100% proof Vodka. Most sensible landlords banned these games a long time ago - but it still goes on, especially in rugby clubs.
Sit your Oh down and talk to him, ask him what goes on after matches. if he doesnt remember (very likely) then go along yourself one night and observe!
unfortunately, the men feel its not macho to limit their drinks or only have soft drinks.
do you think this maybe what is happening here?

pegasus, that was actually one of my milder rebukes to Fang! but I have also thanked and agreed with him/her when I feel he/she is right.
I respect Fang has a viewpoint and has the right to make it - and I also have the right to disagree with it - and I THINK Fang would agree with that!

Therefore he has an alcohol problem

meritaten

I dont think you read my post at all!

The point I was TRYING to make is that her OH may be unaware of exactly how much he is drinking!
If the man is normally a responsible drinker and its only when he is out with his mates after matches he may well be a victim here of other team 'mates' spiking his drink!!!!
and dont tell me it doesnt happen - Seen it with my own eyes! heard the mates laughing and bragging about it! Responsible landlords keep an eye out for it - but tbh the bar staff are NOT encouraged to refuse to serve shorts - even when we DO suspect that spiking is going on!

jinky67

IMO the fact of the matter is, he knows he pees all over the place when he has been drinking, so therefore he shouldnt drink.