Advice Please, Alcohol and Sleepwalking!

Savvy_Sue

Another thought is that it's quite important that he decides to change for his own sake, and not in order to keep you happy (or even with him!)

Because doing it for you won't, in the long run, be enough. When life gets tough - and it will, it always does, for all of us, at some point - it needs to be for his own sake that he's not drinking.

And the link I gave to Al-Anon, you can go or contact them even if the route he decides to take is not via Alcoholics Anonymous. I suggest it because I think there is evidence that families tackle such problems better if they do it openly, so rather than pretending that there isn't a problem, you might choose to be quite open about the fact that your OH has a problem with alcohol.

GEEGEE8

I'd make him strap an empty 2ltr bottle of coke to his knob !

Seriously though, it must be awful for you if this is the only thing that's wrong.

It is when he drinks excessively, or just when he drinks in general?

I was a bed wetter as a kid, different scenario I know, but I had a machine that went off when I started to wee, but I guess if it's because he so drunk then he prob won't hear it..

meritaten

the point I was trying to make is that if he is so drunk he is incontinent, there is also a REAL danger he could also vomit, and choke on that vomit and die! Like my lovely friend! he may not be an alcoholic but he DOES have a problem with alcohol!

GEEGEE8

meritaten wrote: »

the point I was trying to make is that if he is so drunk he is incontinent, there is also a REAL danger he could also vomit, and choke on that vomit and die! Like my lovely friend! he may not be an alcoholic but he DOES have a problem with alcohol!

That's a very good but scary point..

Fang_3

Why are you with someone who loves drinking and then !!!!ing on you more than he loves you? Fair enough if you're into that, then lean back and enjoy, but it doesn't sound like you enjoy a face full of urine anymore than you enjoy having a weak-willed alcoholic for a boyfriend.

Cheery_Daff

Oh I really do feel for you. I was in a similar situation once - fortunately without the child...

I'd second the suggestion for Al Anon. I've been going a member for 6 years, and it really has turned my life around. They won't judge, or tell you to get rid of him, or keep him, or anything, but sometimes a friendly ear from someone else who's been there, and a bit of time to focus on yourself, is just what's required. Good luck with whatever happens

xx

meritaten

Fang wrote: »

Why are you with someone who loves drinking and then !!!!ing on you more than he loves you? Fair enough if you're into that, then lean back and enjoy, but it doesn't sound like you enjoy a face full of urine anymore than you enjoy having a weak-willed alcoholic for a boyfriend.

Fang - thats out of order! OP has made it plain she doesnt like her OHs drinking!
her OH ISNT an alcoholic! he just doesnt know when to stop drinking! some people dont have that stop button. they dont feel the need to have a drink - but while they ARE drinking - they cannot stop. and thats dangerous. they arent habitual drinkers so the alcohol affects them, they cannot cope with it mentally or physically. and even worse - their mates encourage them to drink more. as they find the usually sober mate sooooo funny when drunk! they wont find it funny when mate ends up dead.


OP - I suggest you show your OH this thread. because I have a message for him.
Its all very well to have a drink with the mates after match, but is it worth your relationship? or your life? Its not easy but you have to learn how much alcohol you can handle before calling it a night. if you can remember up until about ten then call a taxi for yourself for then or arrange a lift, then go home.

graemecarter

When I used to drink heavily I would regularly wet the bed. My wife was not happy to say the least. I would sometimes sleep on the couch and sometimes would swamp that too. Same with the floor. And hotel beds, friends' beds, etc

This is not normal behaviour. It is alcoholic behaviour. I am alcoholic. I didn't drink every day. I didn't get drunk every time I did drink. However, I wet the bed more than once. I tried to moderate, and I couldn't do that successfully. Thus I would eventually wet the bed/sofa/floor again.
This carried on for years. I had kids and still continued.
My relationship with alcohol was more important to me than not upsetting my wife (not that I could see it at the time). Otherwise I would have stopped drinking.
However, I couldn't stop drinking just like that as I am alcoholic. I needed help. Eventually I sought help, and haven't drunk alcohol in a long time now. And amazingly, I have never wet the bed since stopping drinking.

I am powerless over people, places, and things.
I can only change the way I act and react. I cannot change my partner. I cannot change my ex wife. I cannot change the past.
I CAN take the action to make sure I don't wet the bed today, and that is not having the first drink.

Al-Anon benefits people affected by their partners, families, friends, drinking. It is worth a go.

mommame

Good post,good for the op to hear from someone else,another bed wetter/drinker and hear it from someone not so close to the problem.
Good luck op and stay strong.

Bonnie2009

meritaten wrote: »

Fang - thats out of order! OP has made it plain she doesnt like her OHs drinking!
her OH ISNT an alcoholic! he just doesnt know when to stop drinking! some people dont have that stop button. they dont feel the need to have a drink - but while they ARE drinking - they cannot stop. and thats dangerous. they arent habitual drinkers so the alcohol affects them, they cannot cope with it mentally or physically.

Don't you realise that that's one definition of an alcoholic?