MSE Parents Club Part 13

SugarSpun

3 take a screencap of that page - make sure they can't change their policies after the fact.

SM, use her as much as she uses you from now on, even if you're not going out, and really do find some more mummy friends. Strong confident new woman SM needs some non-using friends! Go get 'em!

I also am in awe of Becles and her boot camp, I'm considering doing one here (although considering is probably as far as I will go, I am a lazy blighter when it comes to exercise).

And on that note I am off to bed. Goodnight all and hugs where appropriate.

jillie1974

redmel1621 wrote: »

I think it would, that way it would be pretty consistant for him, he would get to see that sometimes it is just you and him and other times daddy is there too, but he knows he will always be eating with someone and hopefully he will copy you eating...plus stick to things you know he will eat and just add 'extras' on for him to try, that way youwill be sure he is eating something.

K hates cheese but every now and then I will stick some cheese chunks, or half a cheese butty on his plate, just to see if he has changed his mind with it yet, I don't worry if he doesn't eat it because I know I will have given him, for the rest of the meal, food he likes.:)


Big (hugs) about the attempted break in, lets hope Karma does it's job.....

Mel x

thanks mel

will try from tomorrow. see how we get on.

Krystaltips

3onitsway wrote: »

I'm sure a cup of tea solved all of her problems! :mad:

4 nights a month respite does sound good though - I think here it's likely to be 4 nights a year, plus one of the two respite centres is closing down soon.

But I don't know what i'd do without the summer holidays playscheme. I can't remember how old her boy is? Does his school not do a summer scheme?

He's just turned 8, there's no summer scheme in place at his school and the one year something was set up they promised he had a place 2 days a week and it turned out it was just a couple of hours twice in the whole 6 weeks...

It also doesn't help that his behaviour is really trying at the moment. He had to be restrained at school a couple of weeks ago and he struggled that hard there were pressure marks on his hands like big love bites! (and like she said, if they'd have appeared at home, someone would have called social services!) and the only option to her at the moment is ritalyn or similar... A route she's not at all keen to go down...

searching_me

:rotfl: 3 ...

sugar .. i thought the same .. when philip was away she thought she was doing me a favour by asking me to go round because id be "lonely" .. yer i missed philip but im not her i can be by myself without male company and not die :rotfl: x

3onitsway

Ok, here goes, be honest, I can take it.

I haven't spell/grammar checked yet btw.




I have tried to contact via the W***** site to no avail.

Would somebody from H*****B** C**** please contact me regarding the disgusting treatment my family received at the weekend.



I still don't understand why we were asked to leave the camp. My summary of the 24 hours below doesn't warrent being asked to leave in such a way.

Firstly, I have an email from G***** N****** stating that 'she believes we're in a cottage'. G***** denied this. This is not really the biggest of my concerns at the moment. The main house was beautiful, if not child or autistic child friendly with all the niknaks about. But if the home owners were happy to open up their home to autistic children it wasn't a problem for us.

Then we hear that breakfast is not included, despite T** H***** B** website stating "Full Scottish breakfast is served in the main house every morning and full facilities are available for self-catering for all other meals". After a meeting between G****** and the home owners, this was cleared up and the owners agreed to provide breakfast.

Saturday night the volunteers took J & O and some other children up to the stables to meet the horses. R** (K**** T*********'s Husband?) was very pleased that J**had gone into the stables briefly and stroked a horse.

On Sunday at breakfast, J** was a little unsettled but that is to be expected for an autistic child on the first day in a strange place - anyone with experience of autism would understand this.
After breakfast we went up to the stables, and had horse and carriage rides around the estate. J** observed the horses as I expected, but was quite happy with the volunteers watching what was going on - a lovely morning.
After breaking for lunch, we went back to the stables to ride down to the beach. J** again observed, getting a little closer to the horses but not too close. O***** & I got to ride down to the beach, then once at the beach everyone took turns riding. J** was very happy on the beach watching what was going on. After a while J** took me over to one of the horses and stroked it, which I thought was a breakthrough. I thought after a few days he might actually get onto one. O***** and V***** were having a brilliant time getting to ride and play on the beach with plenty of people about to play with/help with J**.

Then we had some free time. We sat in the garden of the main house playing with the dogs and chatting, again a lovely afternoon.

J** was quite happy outside in the garden and I went in to start dinner while some of the volunteers stayed outside with J**. Then O***** came running into the kitchen. J** had smacked and broken a little pain of glass in a window. I went out to see what had happened and K**** T********* said he was sitting there very calm and chilled, when he got up and ran at the window. I later find out from a volunteer and O***** that K**** had been trying to 'heal' J**. When everyone else but her had gone inside she sat close to J** and started waving her hands around his head/body, he'd jumped up and ran away distressed and hit the window! He doesn't like strange people in his personal space and doesn't have the ability to tell people.

I am incredibly angry that K**** took it upon herself to 'heal' my child without my consent or knowledge, and didn't mention what she had been doing when explaining about the broken window.

He was quite distressed after this but again, not as bad as he could have been, and calmed down and came in to eat dinner with us.

After dinner, G****** and K**** came into the kitchen where mum & Iwere doing our dishes. They said that they'd had a meeting and suggested we leave as this 'situation' isn't helping J** as he is very unsettled.
I replied "it's day one, he's autistic. If you know anything about autism, you know that change of routine is hard to accept".

I can honestly say that for 95% of the day J** had behaved perfectly. The only difference between J** and the other autistic children on the camp was his age and size. If ***** B** C**** don't welcome autistic children who aren't big enough to physically pick up and hide away, they should say so on the website and shouldn't have accepted our booking.

It has crossed my mind that the organisers were worried that we would be frightening the parents of the younger autistic boys by showing them what they face in the future. However, I spoke to one of the other guests before we left and she was shocked and disgusted at the treatment we'd received and assured me that my familiy had done nothing wrong.

I had to drive 7 hours home, in the night/early hours with J** and O***** absolutely distraught. My Mum was equally upset not only at the treatment we'd received, but because her grandchildren (and daughter) were so upset. J** cried all the way home, J** never cries.


I must say while i'm writing that the volunteers, C****** and C** were absoultely fantastic people. It was obvious straight away that C****** was very experienced in working with older autistic children - she connected with J** almost instantly and should be commended, and C** had an instant rapport with all of the other children.

C****** actually said to G****** and K**** that J**'s behaviour was nothing compared to what she was used to dealing with at work with autistic adolescents but was told that she was obviously desentisised due to her job. I find that comment to be an absolute insult to C******.


I'm still incredibly angry, even more so that my message to R***** on Sunday night/Monday morning has up to now been ignored.


G****** said at the time I could discuss a 'partial refund'. I will not accept a partial refund and would like the whole amount, plus the £100 it cost us in petrol for the wasted journey.

jennynoo

OH came home tonight with his breath stinking of smoke, !!!!!! he hasn't smoked for 10 years, why now? I said his breath stank and he just said,'i wonder why that would be' I left it at that and am being civil with him but ignoring him,don't know what to do. I think I noticed it yesterday as well

searching_me

spot on 3 .. think its very good and to the point ...

jenny .. maybe hes ashamed .. i remember when i started havin crafty fags and not smoking for a year i hid it from philip as i felt he'd be disappointed .. but he knew and confronted me and im glad he did x

jennynoo

3, I would leave the bit out about frightening the other parents unless they bring it up. And maybe also put a bit more about how you have missed out on a holiday that everyone was looking forward to plus the stress etc.

elle_gee

jennynoo wrote: »

OH came home tonight with his breath stinking of smoke, !!!!!! he hasn't smoked for 10 years, why now? I said his breath stank and he just said,'i wonder why that would be' I left it at that and am being civil with him but ignoring him,don't know what to do. I think I noticed it yesterday as well

I have suspicions about my OH too. I keep seeing him blantantly in the smoke shelter at work (he's usually there at the end of the day and it's at the end of the car park I use), but I only see the back of him, not sure if he's got anything in his hands. Have never smelt it on him, but I'm usually with Rhys when he comes in and he won't come near Rhys until he's had a shower (due to the chemicals he works near) so he could easily get rid of the smell (and to be fair, it's not like I go near him much even after his shower anyway! ).

He swears blind he's only there because his boss is and it's a social / networking thing. I know he's smoked "socially" since we've been together and smoked (10-15 a day) on and off when he's been stressed in the last 20 years, but I don't think he's got anything to be stressed about right now.

My take on it is I'm letting it slide now, but if I get proof, I'll come down on him like a tonne of bricks! :mad: Think he knows that tho... There is no way I'm standing for him putting his health at risk.

3onitsway

Krystaltips wrote: »

It also doesn't help that his behaviour is really trying at the moment. He had to be restrained at school a couple of weeks ago and he struggled that hard there were pressure marks on his hands like big love bites! (and like she said, if they'd have appeared at home, someone would have called social services!) and the only option to her at the moment is ritalyn or similar... A route she's not at all keen to go down...

J is always covered in bruises/marks - SS dont' seem to notice. (Not you SS before you ask )

Drugs is always a thing that's worried me. I discussed it with the Dr last month. He said it's not a case of drugging them into a calm state like in the olden days.
The assessment they will be doing soon is going to look for a cause of his behaviours. They will try to decide if it's anxiety, anger, etc, then decide on what to do to try and treat it. He said that a lot of autistic people are on anti D type drugs as there is a chemical imbalance in the brain (is it seratonin? or have I just made that up?) But i'm still crossing my fingers that J can be helped with some sort of behaviour management first.

jennynoo wrote: »

OH came home tonight with his breath stinking of smoke, !!!!!! he hasn't smoked for 10 years, why now? I said his breath stank and he just said,'i wonder why that would be' I left it at that and am being civil with him but ignoring him,don't know what to do. I think I noticed it yesterday as well

My Dad gave up about three years ago according to my Mum. He sooooo didn't!
I can't believe she doesn't know, especially when at every social occasion Dad goes outside to keep OH company while he's having a fag!