MSE Parents Club Part 13

jillie1974

thanks GISI

must have a look. although i know that if i do get pg again, the mw will have all my prev notes and will go through them all in nov when i need to go back to DR for my BP/contraception chek up am going to ask him as well.

baby event!! got my leaflet this morning. somethings are a bit more than prev. but otherwise the same offers and best of all...stairgates lol!! need 2 i think one for upstairs and then one for kitchen/sitting room doorway.
off to dentist today for my last free check up. am registering Kian as well now he's got teeth
also....
can anyone recommend walkers? dont want one of the ones where the bay sits in and uses their toes to move round... am thinking something like the v-tech walker or a wooden pull/push truck with bricks?
anyone not recommend them??

jillie1974

omg!!! what does that girl look like on this morning????????????????

she looks like a tranny!!

ETA: its is a bloke!!!!
he wants to be like jordan lol!!

My_Fathers_Daughter

got-it-spend-it wrote: »

Confession- I cried last night because OH forgot that the MW was coming, even though I'd reminded him in the morning. When I told him that I was upset that he forgot he just said he has a lot on his mind at the moment and didn't even ask what the MW said . He wasn't meant to be there, but I'd hoped that he was interested in how it went.

I think that giving birth and the trauma that it can cause and the way that it affects women is one of those things that men (sorry Bruno) will struggle to understand. No matter how many times they are told how big a deal it is they will never ever have to go through it themselves so it won't ever click with them.

I obviously don't know your hubby at all but if you think about how your conversations about giving birth and pregnancy differ with another mother to those that you might have with someone who has never been through it. Having done it changes the tone completely IMHO. I think it is similar with a man.

It may of course also be possible that your hubby still has his own issues with your labour that he isn't quite ready to deal with yet.

Ignore me if I am rambling shoite - I don't feel I am explaining myself very well, I just think that this is one of the things that we can never expect our menfolk to understand.

redstararnie76

jillie1974 wrote: »

thanks GISI

must have a look. although i know that if i do get pg again, the mw will have all my prev notes and will go through them all in nov when i need to go back to DR for my BP/contraception chek up am going to ask him as well.

baby event!! got my leaflet this morning. somethings are a bit more than prev. but otherwise the same offers and best of all...stairgates lol!! need 2 i think one for upstairs and then one for kitchen/sitting room doorway.
off to dentist today for my last free check up. am registering Kian as well now he's got teeth
also....
can anyone recommend walkers? dont want one of the ones where the bay sits in and uses their toes to move round... am thinking something like the v-tech walker or a wooden pull/push truck with bricks?
anyone not recommend them??

Jillie, my daughter loved her v-tech walker, but she never really used it to help with walking - she just wanted to play with the bits on it!!!

redstararnie76

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

It may of course also be possible that your hubby still has his own issues with your labour that he isn't quite ready to deal with yet.

Ignore me if I am rambling shoite - I don't feel I am explaining myself very well, I just think that this is one of the things that we can never expect our menfolk to understand.

I think this is a really good point. My husband was really quite traumatised by my daughter's birth - he had to leave the room several times in tears and he felt, as a result, that he couldn't be there when Freddie was born. He isn't really able to deal with it - he's just blocked it from his mind. He probably wouldn't be confortable revisiting the birth with me either - he would have no problem with me doing it; he would just rather not know.

jillie1974

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

I think that giving birth and the trauma that it can cause and the way that it affects women is one of those things that men (sorry Bruno) will struggle to understand. No matter how many times they are told how big a deal it is they will never ever have to go through it themselves so it won't ever click with them.

I obviously don't know your hubby at all but if you think about how your conversations about giving birth and pregnancy differ with another mother to those that you might have with someone who has never been through it. Having done it changes the tone completely IMHO. I think it is similar with a man.

It may of course also be possible that your hubby still has his own issues with your labour that he isn't quite ready to deal with yet.

Ignore me if I am rambling shoite - I don't feel I am explaining myself very well, I just think that this is one of the things that we can never expect our menfolk to understand.

totally agree MFD. i dont think DH understood how scared at times i was. i know it was a horrific time for him too but i needed him then like i have never needed him. i think some of my issues are more to do with DH not really being there than the labour/birth.

i s'pose for men seeing their wives/partners in so much pain/distress must be hard to cope with as well.

maybe they should have joint sessions

have looked at my maternity hospital webiste and cant see anything about going through your notes etc.... oh well

redstararnie76

When I got pregnant this time around, I asked the midwife about having an elective c-section as the last one really did scare me quite a lot. She agreed very promptly and arranged for me to see the consultant at the hospital. He went through all my notes from last time with me and I finally learnt why I had so many problems the first time round. He was fantastic and the experience was actually quite healing for me.

jillie1974

redstararnie76 wrote: »

Jillie, my daughter loved her v-tech walker, but she never really used it to help with walking - she just wanted to play with the bits on it!!!

lol!! thats why i'm thinking the truck with bricks might be a better idea has he has a good few vtech hand held toys already and the bricks would be a different toy as well.

getting him some Lego (is it Duplo for small kids?) for his birthday as well

jillie1974

redstararnie76 wrote: »

When I got pregnant this time around, I asked the midwife about having an elective c-section as the last one really did scare me quite a lot. She agreed very promptly and arranged for me to see the consultant at the hospital. He went through all my notes from last time with me and I finally learnt why I had so many problems the first time round. He was fantastic and the experience was actually quite healing for me.

glad it was good for you.



right off now to asda and dentist...bet it chucks it down as they sky is getting very dark again

got-it-spend-it

I'm glad to hear you had a good consultant, Redstar. I think it makes all the difference.

MFD- I totally agree with you, and in a way he probably doesn't want to think about 'next time' yet. In actual fact I think I was upset because I hate feeling like he is leaving me to deal with 'baby things' because he feels he needs all his brain power to deal with work things. I'm probably the one making no sense now, but I feel like he expects me to cope with all the baby stuff plus get my head around the practicalities of going back to work etc etc and the fact that he couldn't even remember a relatively significant appointment like yesterday's was the final straw. He's made it quite clear he's not really interested in all the NCT stuff I'm involved with. Sorry, I'll shut up now!

Jillie- I just think the wooden trucks are cuter! Yes, I am that shallow! I also think they may have more longevity since they can be used in more 'role play' type games when they're older, IYKWIM.