MSE Parents Club Part 13

ladybirdintheuk

Som - don't beat yourself up over it, these things happen. Just you wait till they start walking and climbing - that's when it gets really scary!

My_Fathers_Daughter

I think a lot of people don't understand that babies do react to being read to. I am actually not sure if Great Neice has books or not, but SILs reaction to seeing all Benjamins books would suggest that she thinks it is a waste of time. Benjamin has loved books since he was tiny.

Is your mum mainly mocking about things she doesn't understand Fitz? Do you think it is like a defence mechanism? I feel sorry for her too.

My_Fathers_Daughter

ladybirdintheuk wrote: »

Som - don't beat yourself up over it, these things happen. Just you wait till they start walking and climbing - that's when it gets really scary!

I was going to post something along those lines!!

I am trying not to pick Benjamin up everytime he hurts himself ATM. I would much rather that he was a bit rough and tumble than wrapped in cotton wool so I reckon it is never to early to start the 'pick yourself up, dust yourself off' approach to life.

I will of course give him cuddles if he 'really' hurts himself, but sometimes I wonder if he cries for effect!!

SusanC_2

Fitzio wrote: »

This incident followed on from me saying "Give her a bottle around 7.30pm, and bed whenever she seems tired. We usually read her a book before bed, but you don't have to if you don't want to".
My mum then started to laugh at me and mock me for reading her a story "at her age", saying there is no way she is doing that??? She will talk to her, but it is ridiculous to read stories as she won't understand. I was getting really angry and snapping back "there are f***ing books with touchy feely pictures in it designed for babies that she likes". It nearly ruined my night out as I was so angry! :mad:

How ridiculous!

This is Alice at about eight months:




Nine months:


About eleven months:


Thirteen months:








At Holly's age Alice spent more time on books than she did on toys. (I actually times her one time whilst actively encouraging her to play with toys instead and she still spent 15 out of 20 minutes on books.)

Even if the child doesn't understand the words of the book, they are still learning a lot by being read to. They learn that reading is a positive and enjoyable activity. They learn which way round books go and how they should be handled. They learn that the symobols on the page have meaning and that the pictures are usually related to the story. Saying it's ridiculous to read books to a baby because they won't understand is like saying it's ridiculous to talk to a baby because they won't understand - that's how they learn.

SugarSpun

Fitzio wrote: »

I feel sorry for my mum. She is depressed or something, but doesn't see it. It's been going on for years, and she has forgotten how to be happy/have fun/get any joy out of life. And I feel even more sorry for my dad - he loves spending time with Holly and would be devastated if he didn't see her as much.
I won't be asking them to babysit for a full night for a while. And I will also stop popping round quite as much - I have been round to theirs a lot recently, and for a few weeks after we last fell out, she did make an effort to keep her mouth shut if she disagreed, rather than mocking me as she does. This effort has clearly stopped now.

I don't mind a difference of opinion, it's just the constant mocking, ridiculing to make her feel superior. Everyone does things differently, it doesn't mean that either of us would be wrong, but she feels the need to try and make me feel stupid. Sorry, off on one again - it's an emotive subject!

Again, Fitz, my mother is exactly the same way. It's so hard not wanting to cut off someone who's totally poisonous because they're married to someone who isn't and who you want to keep in your life.

My mother's rudeness and mockery is fairly constant and very hurtful, when we were in the UK last week she decided she didn't want to meet us for lunch on Molly's 11-month birthday (we were celebrating it because my parents won't be here for her birthday birthday). No reason, she just didn't want to. And when I called her on it she blamed me for not telling her it was important (as though our visit to their country was an everyday occurrence). She'll also make little sarky comments any chance she gets. I just tell her things were different in her day but these days we know more about neuroscience and that reading to babies/extended breastfeeding/cosleeping/sunscreen are now known to be beneficial. Sometimes I quote imaginary research papers to drive the point home.

Fitzio

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Is your mum mainly mocking about things she doesn't understand Fitz? Do you think it is like a defence mechanism? I feel sorry for her too.

No, I don't think so. It's just the way she is. I don't think she means to "mock" but has a slightly nervous laugh at the end of what she says which makes it very patronising sounding. At least my dad says it's a habitual thing that my gran also had but I don't remember that. She will only eat things from M&S. She thinks the worst of everyone, but particularly me and my dad. My brother is starting to get it too a bit now! She's doesn't think she needs help though and will never change so there's nothing I can do.

For what it's worth, I had lots of books and stimulation and my mum was a good mum when I was young. She just seems to have forgotten what life was like but has the attitude that she knows it all because she has done it before. She did a good job of raising us, but it was a long time ago and she was a very different person then!


Right, enough from me, I am off out to Tesco.

Jam - I will see if they have any Little Stars with the offer on today. If they don't, I would be very grateful for your offer. Fatty Boo Boo is also looking for some so if I can source others, she would happily take them. Will pm you later. Have a lovely day. x

tarajayne

My lovely friend has made her a chocolate cake in the shape of a number one, I am so lucky. X

workinmummy

tarajayne wrote: »

My lovely friend has made her a chocolate cake in the shape of a number one, I am so lucky. X

Ahh, that is so lovely Tara. What a fab friend. :T
Books, Alex love being read to also. He has his own books, but must get round to sorting the zillions of books in Joes room, and ask him to donate the baby ones to his little brother. Which he will do in a second as he loves him so and also enjoys reading to Alex as well.

On another note. A lovely old fashioned sweet shop seems to have "popped up" on the high street right near work. And I didn't just go in and buy 2 quarters of anything.

My_Fathers_Daughter

What a lovely friend you have Tara


All this book talk reminds me - in my big clear out and change round of the living and dining room the other day I gave Benjamin his own shelf on the bookcase. Previously his books had lived mostly in his overflowing push along truck

He is very excited about having his own shelf and the last 2 mornings he has been bouncing with excitement as I open the living room door and then rushing headlong for the bookshelf and grabbing a book shouting 'THOMAS' (he always goes for the Thomas books, no matter where they are!).

He is very cute and when he gets to the page where Thomas is all dirty he say 'oh-oh' :A

tarajayne

MFD, what was your car seat called, I joined Which yesterday for a £1 to look at tumble dryers so I want to check the car seats out?