worst night of my life

savingwannabe

What a fantastically supportive thread. Good luck Stephy.This is what growing up is about and you are doing a great job i think. Good luck for the future. You will be fine. I have/had similar parents but at the grand age of 39, we are finally learning to compromise!!!

stephy110288

i'm so glad i had this forum this morning it made it alot easier for me x

Fiddlestick

stephy110288 wrote: »

anyway so i left the awful job after 2 years and went into full time waitressing because i loved it and i got promoted to manager. they hated me for making this decision and yes financially, it was the wrong choice, but i honestly feel i would have died inside if i'd carried on at the job.

I haven't really got much to say other than to pass on a quote that I once heard:

"If you find a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life"

stephy110288

exactly!!! its hard work but i love it, and if when i finish uni, there are no psychology teacher jobs available i know i have a restaurant career to fall back on temporarily.
after going through what i went through at that horrifically boring office job, i couldnt be happier that i left, even with the debt its left me in, and i would still advise everyone to do the same. i was told that working there would make me happy because the pay would make me happy. it really really didnt!!!

[Deleted User]

Hi Stephy- just a quick one to say you WILL get thru this- (sounds like you are already on your way,-again, FAB advice from TUS!). And repeating what others have said, you sound very mature for 22, plenty of my 30 something friends still haven't got a handle on debt-but you've a lesson learned and in the process of being fixed so -onwards and upwards! SO SO SO many things seem huge (and don't get me wrong, large debt really is) when you're younger but you'll look back on it later and understand why you're a better person because of it. Then there's that magic moment when you realise your parents are just "other people" going thru life with it's ups and downs same as you, no better, no worse, just all learning. Don't be intimidated- be proud of yourself for managing and gentle with them (if you can) til they get the picture that you are your own responsible and hard working person as well as their daughter. Oh so easy to say!!! Harder to do (I know!) but possible, I promise.
Best of luck, big hug
BBB (ex waitress, loved it too!)

GEEGEE8

My God, how bad have your parents taken it?! sheeesh, talk about over-reacting! and to make you feel so bad about it.. heart attack? how does he get through other issues..?
I really do think you should let them support eachother through it, if it really is that bad, they have eachother and you aren't even asking for help!
I hate it when people say 'well, I can't give you anything', when you didn't even ask!
How are they going to behave when you have a mortgage, that is a debt.. and a much larger one than you currently have.
I think they are using it as a way of making you feel bad in the hope that you might go home and keep them company.
Stick to your guns! You're doing great x

stephy110288

thank you, i cant say thank you enough to the people on here for the support. i have gone from 7am this morning, refusing the get out of bed, eat or shower, to considering meeting my other half for a drink when he finishes work. and thats because of all you people. so thank you so much.
you're right. its rubbish that i'm in debt, but i just did some calculations and since i started my dmp 9 months ago, 1,500 has come off my total debt! thats through paying it off and reclaiming charges. i'm happy in my life and i'm living comfortably and paying it off. they need to realise that i'm 22 and this is my problem not theirs. yep, you're all right

amersall

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

My God, how bad have your parents taken it?! sheeesh, talk about over-reacting! and to make you feel so bad about it.. heart attack? how does he get through other issues..?
I really do think you should let them support eachother through it, if it really is that bad, they have eachother and you aren't even asking for help!
I hate it when people say 'well, I can't give you anything', when you didn't even ask!
How are they going to behave when you have a mortgage, that is a debt.. and a much larger one than you currently have.
I think they are using it as a way of making you feel bad in the hope that you might go home and keep them company.
Stick to your guns! You're doing great x

Agree 100%, they must be very "lonely" when they can upset their daughter like they have.Dont they realise the turmoil they have caused her?.It could be drugs etc, this is the 21st century and i am afraid they have to let their daughter live her own life, and they should get on with theirs.

katsu

Flying through to say ignore the rubbish about your dad feeling like he is having a heart attack. You are being sensible, responsible and facing your debts. Just tell them that when they pressure you and hold your head up high. Well done for speaking to them today and good luck.

clairbear1000

I just absolutely couldn't read and run.

Stay strong stephy110288 as you are doing brilliantly and you really do have your head screwed on.

I don't doubt for a second that you parents absolutely love you and want the best for you but they really are going about this the wrong way. The guilt trip is atrocious and I've been on the receiving end of this previously. In the future when you debt is all settled I'm sure you will all look back on this and see that you handled the situation well.

Don't rise to them trying to make you feel bad, all you can do is do the best that you can and you are doing brilliantly. Be strong!!!