Churned up about child going to school....

MortgageMamma

I know I'm going to get slated for this, but I just HAVE to know if anyones ever gone through what I'm going through

The "problem" is, my middle child is going to school for the first time on Monday. We relocated where we live now over 20 months ago, and she's been going to this brilliant little nursery (with her 2 year old brother) where everything is lovely and the staff are amazing...

For the past week I've not been able to sleep, it takes me until about 3am to go off, and then I'm awake again by five. I lie awake in bed worrying about her at school. I just don't want her to go. I know its silly but I'm worried about what if she gets out the school gates at playtime, and if she'll meet friends, and will she be picked on because she has red hair and glasses (although she is spectaculary pretty with the most amazing blue eyes). I'm worried about paedophiles, a terrorist attack because its a religious school, if I will fit in with the other mums in the playground, if she will like it, how she'll feel being separated from her little brother, how he'll cope without her.

When she finished at her private nursery on Friday I cried for hours. I couldn't pick her up as it was too final, so hubby had to do it. SHe came home and she cried over something and nothing but I knowits because she knows she not going back. The staff cried as well.

My husband thinks I'm being ridiculous, I'm dreading monday, I left buying her uniform until yesterday because I couldnt stomach it

I never felt like this with my first child. I feel really selfish because all I can think of is how I feel rather than what she must be thinking

Has anyone else gone through this or similar?

MM

Murtle

Aw I hope you won't be slated for it. Here are some ((((Hugs)))) I don't have children, but I'm sure many mothers go through the same wrenching feelings.

x x x

MortgageMamma

Thanks, I feel like I am cracking up!

My mum thinks its because I know I can't have anymore babies and I don't want to see them growing up but I don't think its that !

bobsa1

I think you are a normal caring Mum. My eldest DD is away with a friend and friends parents for a few days. I have laid awake, fretted and been beside myself since agreeing to let her go. She's 12.

When dd2 started school I was worried sick and I'm already worrying about dd3 starting and she's only 2.

Once she starts and the first few days have passed without incident I'm sure you'll be a bit better.

pjs_3

I'm sure she will be fine. My little girl started school in April. All the children went into the school really excited and the mums were left crying! I kept thinking silly thoughts such will she reach the counter to get her school dinners. Just make sure you have somewhere to go as soon as you drop her off. You dont want to be sitting at home waiting until 3.30 (or whenever), you must keep busy. Preferably with a sympathetic friend. By the way my daughter loves school and cant wait to go back on Tuesday as she is bored being at home! Hope first day goes ok.

jos_4

I feel exactly the same my yongest is starting school on Tuesday his brother only started last sept and I dreaded that as well. I am dreading both of them being at school becasue I will miss them terribly, I am considering home schooling as I feel I didn't have children for some else to have them for 6 hours a day. Just make sure you put on a brave face for your daughter as you don't want her to pick up on your negative vibes bout school. Good Luck for Monday.

Murtle

Ah mortgagemamma, see it's perfectly normal. You're not cracking up at all!!! I think it must be hard to see your little one grow up, after all we always remain our parents children don't we!!

Hugs

x

Sweet_Pea_2

M eldest daughter is going into year 6 on Tuesday, so just one more year of primary school left. I suddenly had a pang today, this time next year Ill be dreading it, off to senior school.
My sympathies are with you, try not to pass your fears on to your dd if you can, once she has her first day at school you will be fine.

modgit

Oh, it's horrible isn't it? My youngest started school in January, and it nearly ruined Christmas, i know that sounds an exaggeration, but I couldn't think about anything but, I cried so much.

They are far more resilient than we are and my worries were on similar lines to yours, even though our elder son was at the school and happy there.

I made sure I had the first week planned, that DH went to school with me (baby i know) for the first 2 days, and I went straight out to a friends house or my moms. I knew deep down that I couldn't be upset day after day, and after a week we had both adjusted well.

I'm now pregnant with our 3rd DS so guess I'll have to face it all over again.

Oh, by the way I've got red hair and glasses, and I survived at school unscathed!

Hope all goes well Monday

dlb

All will be fine, went through this with all 3 of mine and still have DD to go up from nursery next Sept, which will be double hard for me as eldest son will start secondary school same day dd starts full time school!!! Not looking forward to it.

I cried all day when every one of them started full time, but all of them had a great time and when i picked them up, they could wait to return next day.

It hard i know but come the middle of next week you will be fine im sure.

GOOD LUCK, IT YOU THAT NEEDS IT NOT THE KIDS

prettypennies

Big Hugs . . I know exactly how you are feeling.

When my twins went to nursery one used to attend the morning session and the other the afternoon session so I always had one of them with me.

When they started school full time I felt like a lost sheep. For the first few days I just couldn't get anything done and have to confess I drove past the school at break times so I could watch how they were getting on in the playground!

I know it's hard but try not to let your child see how anxious you are feeling. Concentrate on things you can do to help you feel a part of this new phase in their lives. If your child is taking packed lunches, you could start collecting ideas for recipes together. Get your child involved in preparing their packed lunch. You could pop little encourgement notes into their lunch box.

Ask the school about which literacy schemes they will be using so that you can support your child at home.

Arrange a play date with some of the children in her class either at home or at a local playcentre. That way your child will get to make friends and you will meet some other parents. You may even find that other parents have been suffering from the same anxiety.

You could get involved in the PTA and then you will get to find more about the school community.

You will adjust eventually.