PLEASE HELP!!!! Benefits??

Deepmistrust

viktory wrote: »

The problem is, you don't actually know your topic. You have previously stated:



While I will agree that it takes two to make a baby, considering it is the woman that will actually become impregnated and will have to deal with the consequences, it makes sense that she takes extra care to ensure that pregnancy does not occur. The male can, and often does, walk away. Therefore, I would refute your statement that it is sexist to suggest that contraception is a woman's job and suggest instead that it is really rather sensible.

You then said:




Contraception is actually extremely efficient - assuming it is used correctly. The majority of contraception failures are because contraception is not used every time, and it is not used according to instructions every time. Some stats for you:

Oral contraception: 0.3% failure rate
Dep Injection: 0.3% failure rate
Implant: 0.05% failure rate
patch: 0.3% failure rate
Male condom (without spermicide) 2%.

Another site suggested that out of 100 women that took that contraceptive pill correctly less than one would become pregnant and that out of 100 women using male condoms correctly only 3 will become pregnant. That is not, by anyone's standards, huge numbers.

Finally, you saw fit to pass comment that I and another poster are chucking childish insults around. Pot, kettle?

What an awful lot of wittering to debunk absolutely nothing. There are many causes of failed contraception, at no point have I disputed whether the cause of failure is the fault of the contraception or the user, nor is that relevant. That it fails and creates an unplanned pregnancy IS fact, and IS what I was discussing.

"Self-Righteous half-wits" was not aimed at anyone in particular, nor as an attack on a point another had made. It's an observation against the kind of argument that degenerates into "advising" abortion to a young user of this site, when she was asking for benefits advice. Anyone that considers that a relevant or even tasteful derailment of the topic, is quite clearly either Self-righteous or half-witted (or as I suspect, both).

Either way it's hardly school playground "you're a !!!!!!" tripe that others seem to only be able to manage

And to find you also supporting the sexist myth that contraception is a womans job, is unsurprising in the very least.

Jomo

Deepmistrust wrote: »

And to find you also supporting the sexist myth that contraception is a womans job, is unsurprising in the very least.

It is irresponsible to assume the other has taken precautions. I would say both are responsible for contraception as even though men cannot get pregnant there are some nasty STDs around, but the pregnancy scenario does exist and as previously mentioned, the man can just walk away...and does in some cases!

Deepmistrust

Jomo wrote: »

It is irresponsible to assume the other has taken precautions. I would say both are responsible for contraception as even though men cannot get pregnant there are some nasty STDs around, but the pregnancy scenario does exist and as previously mentioned, the man can just walk away...and does in some cases!

That's right. It's both peoples resonsibility to take precautions, likewise it's both's responsibility when they don't, or they fail.

It's quite ironic that Viktory has thanked you though, given his insistence that it's the womans responsibility.

viktory

Deepmistrust wrote: »

It's quite ironic that Viktory has thanked you though, given his insistence that it's the womans responsibility.

Her. You need to read my post properly. I actually agreed that it takes two to make a baby (thereby implying that both partners should take resopnsibility) but as the woman is the one literally left holding the baby it make sense that she takes extra care.

donovan739

Im so shocked such a innocent question has caused such a hostile and somewhat volatile response!!!! didn't realise it would take us back to 4 years old in the playground!

i came on here asking for some constructive advice i understand all you views even if some should of been kept to yourselves, i am not going to let my self be portrayed as a scrounging young mum milking the tax payers money!!!

I have simply found myself in a tricky situation and was seeking some advice not a slagging match!!
i am STILL being paid by my previous employer until i find another job so yes i do have income at the moment and actively looking for a job!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just worried about finding a new job and then be stuck when i have to go on maternity leave with no real income just 'maternity allowance' as i wont have been there for the required time to receive maternity pay. So i was just after i have the baby advice on help i could get with housing etc.

Its early days i just want to no everything and get things sorted.

And the people who have the cheek to advise me on having a abortion of adoption of course i have thought about all my options but to be honest it NEVER came in to the equation.

For the record i was taking pill.

If you dont like the question or situation and only have something patronising or horrible and no advice to say just dont bother commenting.

Thank you tho to those who have offered advice and supporting words thanks.

POPPYOSCAR

donovan739 wrote: »

Im so shocked such a innocent question has caused such a hostile and somewhat volatile response!!!! didn't realise it would take us back to 4 years old in the playground!

i came on here asking for some constructive advice i understand all you views even if some should of been kept to yourselves, i am not going to let my self be portrayed as a scrounging young mum milking the tax payers money!!!

I have simply found myself in a tricky situation and was seeking some advice not a slagging match!!
i am STILL being paid by my previous employer until i find another job so yes i do have income at the moment and actively looking for a job!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just worried about finding a new job and then be stuck when i have to go on maternity leave with no real income just 'maternity allowance' as i wont have been there for the required time to receive maternity pay. So i was just after i have the baby advice on help i could get with housing etc.

Its early days i just want to no everything and get things sorted.

And the people who have the cheek to advise me on having a abortion of adoption of course i have thought about all my options but to be honest it NEVER came in to the equation.

For the record i was taking pill.

If you dont like the question or situation and only have something patronising or horrible and no advice to say just dont bother commenting.

Thank you tho to those who have offered advice and supporting words thanks.

Unfortunately thats what you seem to get on here, especially if the word benefits appears in the title! I am myself no fan of the benefits culture but I do think in genuine cases such as yours they are a necessary and good thing.

Anyway as I said earlier enjoy your baby and enjoy being a mum, it is hard work but there is nothing like it!!
(in my humble opinion!!)

Deepmistrust

viktory wrote: »

Her. You need to read my post properly. I actually agreed that it takes two to make a baby (thereby implying that both partners should take resopnsibility) but as the woman is the one literally left holding the baby it make sense that she takes extra care.

You can backtrack all you like. You actually did say:

"Therefore, I would refute your statement that it is sexist to suggest that contraception is a woman's job and suggest instead that it is really rather sensible."

Thus you don't believe it to be sexist to suggest contraception is a womans job. Note: Not BOTH peoples responsibility, but a "womans" job.

Your support of the statement that it is a "womans' job" (which as a woman yourself, you should be grateful to the woman before you whose struggle it was to get contraception at all, they certainly didn't struggle in order to absolve men of responibility), is the kind of mentality that enables single mothers to be scapegoated as being resonsible for societies ills. They alone did not make the baby they have been left holding, and they alone were not responsible for any contraception (or lack of).

It's quite clear that the comments on here, especially those that suggest the OP should consider abortion and adoption are often sexist, without a doubt they are callous and uncalled for, and down right nasty. Or completely stupid. You choose.

I guess from people that live out their fantasies of being nasty on the internet, we should expect this kind of behaviour. But let's none of us pretend those people who suggested the kind of cruel "advice" are worthy of respectful discussion.

gorgeousgeorge

donovan739 wrote: »

Im so shocked such a innocent question has caused such a hostile and somewhat volatile response!!!! didn't realise it would take us back to 4 years old in the playground!

i came on here asking for some constructive advice i understand all you views even if some should of been kept to yourselves, i am not going to let my self be portrayed as a scrounging young mum milking the tax payers money!!!

I have simply found myself in a tricky situation and was seeking some advice not a slagging match!!
i am STILL being paid by my previous employer until i find another job so yes i do have income at the moment and actively looking for a job!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just worried about finding a new job and then be stuck when i have to go on maternity leave with no real income just 'maternity allowance' as i wont have been there for the required time to receive maternity pay. So i was just after i have the baby advice on help i could get with housing etc.

Its early days i just want to no everything and get things sorted.

And the people who have the cheek to advise me on having a abortion of adoption of course i have thought about all my options but to be honest it NEVER came in to the equation.

For the record i was taking pill.

If you dont like the question or situation and only have something patronising or horrible and no advice to say just dont bother commenting.

Thank you tho to those who have offered advice and supporting words thanks.

I agree, its a shame that some questions do end up going 'off topic' and that it turns into a slanging match, and the original question never really gets answered.
I couldnt offer any advice, as I dont really understand the benefits that are available.
I hope you manage to get the help you need

Also I would like to add that even though 'Deepmistrust' can offer some good advice, I think his/her tone is always very condescending towards others, then that gets other peoples backs up, then the slanging matches start

I only posted a comment last night to 'lighten' the mood and had a sarcastic remark made

viktory

Deepmistrust wrote: »

You can backtrack all you like. You actually did say:

"Therefore, I would refute your statement that it is sexist to suggest that contraception is a woman's job and suggest instead that it is really rather sensible."

Thus you don't believe it to be sexist to suggest contraception is a womans job. Note: Not BOTH peoples responsibility, but a "womans" job.

Are you cherry picking because you are getting desperate? That might also explain the spelling mistakes.

My disputed part of my post:

viktory wrote: »

While I will agree that it takes two to make a baby, considering it is the woman that will actually become impregnated and will have to deal with the consequences, it makes sense that she takes extra care to ensure that pregnancy does not occur. The male can, and often does, walk away. Therefore, I would refute your statement that it is sexist to suggest that contraception is a woman's job and suggest instead that it is really rather sensible.

Any sensible woman would therefore make sure she is adequately protected against an unwanted pregnancy. A loving couple will, of course, have discussed contraception as part of their relationship. A couple that fancy a quick knee trembler against the pub wall probably won't have such a discussion. Therefore, surely it would be prudent of the female to use contraceptives to ensure no pregnancy and also tell the male to use a condom to prevent STI infection. For both to fail would be incredible odds. To me, that is not a sexist point of view, but a sensible one.

Deepmistrust wrote: »

It's quite clear that the comments on here, especially those that suggest the OP should consider abortion and adoption are often sexist, without a doubt they are callous and uncalled for, and down right nasty. Or completely stupid. You choose.

I choose neither. Any woman that is pregnant with no financial support, no home and no loving partner should explore all the options available to her. These include abortion and adoption. It may be unpalatable to some, but these are the realities of unplanned and unwanted pregnancy.

Deepmistrust wrote: »

I guess from people that live out their fantasies of being nasty on the internet, we should expect this kind of behaviour. But let's none of us pretend those people who suggested the kind of cruel "advice" are worthy of respectful discussion.

You may live out your fantasies on here - I certainly don't.

sunnyone

You havnt accused someone of using the straw man argumant yet Deepmistrust, that normally comes along with the Ad homimen argumant that you use to attack other posters.