A Word of Warning to Us All (long)

mookybargirl

I'm sorry that your kids don't appreciate the hardships you've gone through to try and give them a good start into adult life.

It's hard but my advice is to STOP. No more pocket money, no more allowance, no more little things - toiletries, dvd's, clothes. Let your son know that he'll need a part time job and if he really doesn't want to go back to plumbing, then he'd better get a part time job to get him through college or that's where he'll end up.

If he's serious about wanting to study, then he should have the determination to pay for it.

The really as rkh001 says is that it doesn't always work, but if your kids are going to end up in the wrong crowd, not working etc etc, then nothing you can do will change that - kids will always go their own way.....

gallygirl

Tes, don't be too hard on yourself. I know a family of 4 brothers & sisters - all brought up the same - 3 are responsible adults the 4th is in prison for a horrific murder. Upbringing isn't everything, but you've done what you thought was right at the time. if you had made a diffeent choice you could be on here wishing you'd chosen to send them to private school.

My DD gets back from the states on Tues - boy is her lightbulb going on, whether she likes it or not!!!! he's just finished uni with a 2:2, admitted she could/should have done better, but worked too many hours in her part time job. I wouldn't mind so much if she had done it to keep the debt down, but she did it to give her money for clothes & going out.

She's back for 3 months then off to Australia, for 6-9 months. Intending to work for the 3 months before she goes - doesn't realise she will be getting charged board. Have just paid for 3 yrs to put her through uni - am bu****ed if I'm subsiding her gap year as well!!!!!

After Aussie she can knuckle down & get a decent job & pay her debts off - whilst still paying board each month.

She WILL appreciate what she has..... as will your 2 I am sure. Hope DD's exam goes well. x

msmicawber

Please don't blame yourself for this. You've done your very best as parents, but in the end it's down to your children's personalities how they respond. (Similar to the recent thread about teaching your children MSE ways - many posters remarked that they had been spendthrifts but their siblings and parents hadn't (or vice versa).) I think it all has to do with the point at which your children realise that they have to take responsibility for their own lives.