really need some advice

chloe99_2

Be very careful. If you just tell the school you are taking your children out and keep them at home this will count as truanting and this will weaken your position in any arguement you have with the school about this or anything else.

Some rogue schools actually encourage families of difficult kids to home educate without letting on exactly what is involved - this is very bad practice and not allowed but they do it to get rid of "naughty" kids

Absolutely do NOT formally withdraw kids unless you REALLY ACTUALLY want full responsibility for their education as a home educator - which i suspect you dont.

Taking the kids out is not the answer here - it is a reflex action to a bad school and a worse head. You need to keep notes of everything and put everything you say in writing. anything they tell you verbally you must write to them confirming what they said.

to those who are going on about the boys previous bad behaviour - so what?

maybe the boy is a total pain to teach - but if the teacher did grab him by the throat, if the school did suspend for 3 weeks without observing proper procedures, and if the school did try to blackmail the family into withdrawing the allegation, then the school is totally in the wrong and should be held accountable

Chakani

chloe99 wrote: »

to those who are going on about the boys previous bad behaviour - so what?

maybe the boy is a total pain to teach - but if the teacher did grab him by the throat, if the school did suspend for 3 weeks without observing proper procedures, and if the school did try to blackmail the family into withdrawing the allegation, then the school is totally in the wrong and should be held accountable

Absolutely right, I totally agree with this, BUT, if a parent goes in all guns blazing without knowing or accepting the whole truth, it will significantly weaken their position.

We all have to accept that our little angels aren't always angels, and the OP needs to be clear about what her son did do or say that provoked this reaction - it's possible that all he did was answer back, or walk out of where he was supposed to be, neither of which warrants such an extreme reaction from the teacher. However, saying that he did nothing at all is probably wrong, and the OP does need this information to argue her case convincingly.

OP, I would suggest you look up ManOnTheMoon's thread about a similar (though not identical) situation for some ideas about how to deal with the situation calmly, assertively and effectively.

You obviously want to protect and defend your son, as any good parent would, but it is necessary to have good and honest communication, including what your son may have done that was out of order so that you can deal with the school, and so that you can help him improve his behaviour so that he doesn't get into confrontations with teachers in future, in this or another school.

Good luck.

Money_maker

Think the lad is her 15 year old rather than the 13 year old. Previous posts indicate he has had some problems in the past with various 'conditions' mentioned which OP said she took no notice of. Perhaps something has triggered the behaviour again, may be worth thinking about when it started again and seeing if there is a connection.

IMHO from OP's postings, teacher was out of order but I would respectfully suggest the full story has still to come to light.

greenval

I'm probably being dim but what is a 'vertical tutor'?

mrcow

greenval wrote: »

I'm probably being dim but what is a 'vertical tutor'?

Don't know.

What's a "naughty school"?

PicnicBasket_2

A vertical tutor (group) is a class of students from a variety of year groups put together (usually under a 'house' system) rather than students being registered with their same-aged peers only. They usually meet once or twice a day for 10-20mins. They have a pastoral tutor who in theory should have a bit of an overview of each student. It is used quite often these days, replacing the 'Year Group' structure in the hope that older students will support younger ones and a sort of friendly family feel will be engendered. Lots of students dislike it.

FWIW, I think the OP is being a bit destructive towards her child by totally believing he hasn't ever done anything wrong - schools as a rule don't struggle with the good kids the way they are clearly struggling with him. It won't help him sort himself out if she is encouraging him to relinquish all responsibility for his bit of what has happened.

However, it all sounds rather strange and needs getting to the bottom of somehow.

Savvy_Sue

A vertical tutor group is where you have pupils from several school years together, usually for registration, notices etc.

No idea about naughty school, however.

blabberwort

I guess the "naughty school" being reffered to is of the sort in which children with behaviour problems attend when a mainstream school is unable to manage the behaviour. Theres various reasons for the behaviour which do include conditions such as adhd etc. Nine times out of ten the children arent naughty because they want to be but usually an underlying problem.

This is different to a school for children with learning difficulties.

Savvy_Sue

But who called it a 'naughty school'? If the head did, it's very unprofessional, and if the head gave some other name it might be helpful if the OP used the same name.

Fang_3

kez1234 wrote: »

let me tell you what happened to straighten things out, my son went to school monday morning he went to vertical tutor and was sitting with all his friends, he was told to move to the group that was a year above him, he hadn't done nothing to warrant this, so my son refused

So your son refused to follow a perfectly reasonable request.

kez1234 wrote: »

and was sent out the classroom, the teacher came out and yold him to wait while this teacher walked over the other side of the school to get a teacher in solitary to collect him, myself and 5 others are questioning why this teacher didn't take my son there himself, the bell rang and my son then took himself off to his next lesson,

Your son was told to wait and he didn't. The second time he didn't follow a perfectly reasonable request.

kez1234 wrote: »

but this one teacher was following him, so he went a long way because he wanted to know if this teacher was following him, this teacher has threatened my son before, and my son was moved form 2 months ago because of him,

Bulltish! Your son went on a wandering tour and the teacher, quite rightly, followed him.

kez1234 wrote: »

my son then got to the top of the stairs to go to next lesson, and the teacher shouted at everyone to get into their class, he grabbed my son and said not you,

Wouldn't have happened if your son had followed instructions. Though I doubt it actually happened.

kez1234 wrote: »

he had my son in a corner and put his hand around his neck and said do you know what you have done?? my son grabbed his arm away and ran to reception to tell them and shouted back at the teacher do you know what you have done? my son asked if he could ring home and told the receptionist, then my son was taken to make a statement and the 3 children that saw it had to do the same, he was then bought home and i wasn't told anything,

This makes no sense. If he had your son in a corner then how did he 'escape'?

kez1234 wrote: »

i was advised to call the police which i did, i got a call from school to say they had suspended him for 22 days and now i have been told he can go back to normal education if we drop the allegation......

Who advised you to call the police?

I think that your son was messing about and told to move, he didn't and was sent outside, and was then told to wait. So your son acting like the big I am decides to push his luck and ignore the instructions and goes for a walkabout to try and show that he's big and clever. A teacher sees him and follows him, telling him to stop and get back along the way, which your son ignores. He then tries to run away and the teacher stops him, when your son hits the teacher and runs to reception scared of the possible consequences of hitting someone much bigger than him. He then concocts this story with the three kids who have only seen a small part of this event, and decides that he will lie to get himself out of trouble and the teacher in trouble.

You then don't act like a responsible parent, you act like the sort of person who would bring up such a brat. Surprise, bloody surprise.