Need advice

Stephb1986_2

has anyone heard from the OP I'm getting a bit worried about her, she did say call the police if we hadn't seen her before this morning

Steph xx

newlifeahead

Hi everyone, I'm back and still alive:D

Thanks for all your concerns. I have had a great weekend.

Yes, he did stay over on Saturday night. He didn't get through to the finals on the Sunday so we spent the day together as friends.

I used the good advice I got from here. Showed him straight to the spare room and said that is where he would sleep (ALONE). He did try it on a few times and said my room would have been much better to sleep in.

We didn't get back to my place until after 8pm so didn't get to go out. We did have a chat and a laugh until the early hours of the next morning. It has been a while since I have laughed and talked so much.

I had arranged for my sister to call on the Saturday evening and we had come up with some kind of code I would say if I was in trouble and a code if everything was ok. My sister had gone out and forgot to ring at the time she said. When she did ring it was really late and we both forgot what the code was:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:.

I think he thought I was mental listening to a very strange conversation. I couldn't stop laughing to myself after that.

Anyway had a good time and dropped him back at the train station after the England match.

My ex found out about it and I can't belive how upset he was. After all this time he has now declared how much he wants us to get back together. He has been so nice it makes me wonder.

Even though I would not want to take it any further with the guy friend who stayed over, I am glad I did what I did. I know it wouldn't be ideal for everyone and there are some nutters out there, but this time it worked out fine.

So I am safe and sound. I hope no one called the police I am still alive and smiling.

***_Laura_***_2

Glad you had a good, safe weekend

Stephb1986_2

Phew thank god you are ok! I was getting worried about you your a day late!!!! Good job I didn't phone the police they would of thought I was a nutter lol

Steph xx

euronorris

burnoutbabe wrote: »

neither

i'm just a realist, having a date at your own house is just asking for trouble and probably means you will sleep with him before you are ready.

Now if you want a ONS, thats fair enough. go for it.

if you want to just be mates without any dating action, then thats easy, its made clear that he stays in the spair room and there is no encoyragement at all for anything more.

if its a date and you are flirting/drinking some wine/getting touchy feely then chances are you will sleep with him as it gets awkward to say "oh no, i only go to base 2 on this date, off you go to your room".

so you share the bed "for a cuddle". and we all know what happens next.

Rubbish. There are plenty of decent guys out there.

My first date with my OH was a weekend stay at his as he was in Belgium at the time and I was in the UK.

No nookie and no problem.

You shouldn't tar all guys with the same brush.

Steel_2

Glad you had a good safe weekend.

newlifeahead wrote: »

I used the good advice I got from here. Showed him straight to the spare room and said that is where he would sleep (ALONE). He did try it on a few times and said my room would have been much better to sleep in.

Now there's a surprise. Couldn't have predicted that :rotfl:

newlifeahead wrote: »

My ex found out about it and I can't belive how upset he was. After all this time he has now declared how much he wants us to get back together. He has been so nice it makes me wonder.

Or that :rotfl:

I trust you did not enlighten him as to what went on after dark. Let him stew. Some men can be so predictable, they don't want to stay in a relationship with you, but they don't want anyone else to either or for you to move on. Bleurch.

Steel_2

euronorris wrote: »

Rubbish. There are plenty of decent guys out there.

My first date with my OH was a weekend stay at his as he was in Belgium at the time and I was in the UK.

No nookie and no problem.

You shouldn't tar all guys with the same brush.

It would still have crossed his mind he might get sex at some point from you.

Look, it's no good people getting huffy about this. Men think about sex. Decent ones and not so decent ones. A lot of the time probably. You stay at their house or you stay at theirs, they think/hope sex will be in the deal. There's nothing wrong with that. I'd be offended if I was with a bloke and he didn't find me attractive enough that it would cross his mind.

Some quiet men like my hubby would never breathe a word about their hopes when they first started dating (even though he's told me since he wanted to sleep with me from the word go. When I asked how soon was 'go' he said when I walked into the bar and about every five minutes after that until he did many weeks later), other men like the OP's male friend make their feelings clear by commenting the OP's room would be better for them to 'sleep' in.

But it's not them that worry me - it's the men who won't just comment on it, they will act on it and insist on taking it further. That's why all strange men always have been and always will be directed to hotel with me. if I go somewhere, I go to a hotel so I don't lie there wondering if someone is going to climb into bed with me at 3am. I don't appreciate being woken up in the wee small hours to duff up some twit who has well overstepped the mark.

I just don't know them well enough. And people I don't know very well I don't trust to look out for me.

Unless you start dating someone you have known as a friend for many years, you are none the wiser about how they will behave behind closed doors and to try and pretend otherwise is daft. It probably will be ok, but there are plenty of woman out there who can tell you it wasn't for them.

Fang_3

Steel wrote: »

It would still have crossed his mind he might get sex at some point from you.

Look, it's no good people getting huffy about this. Men think about sex. Decent ones and not so decent ones. A lot of the time probably. You stay at their house or you stay at theirs, they think/hope sex will be in the deal. There's nothing wrong with that. I'd be offended if I was with a bloke and he didn't find me attractive enough that it would cross his mind.

Some quiet men like my hubby would never breathe a word about their hopes when they first started dating (even though he's told me since he wanted to sleep with me from the word go. When I asked how soon was 'go' he said when I walked into the bar and about every five minutes after that until he did many weeks later), other men like the OP's male friend make their feelings clear by commenting the OP's room would be better for them to 'sleep' in.

But it's not them that worry me - it's the men who won't just comment on it, they will act on it and insist on taking it further. That's why all strange men always have been and always will be directed to hotel with me. if I go somewhere, I go to a hotel so I don't lie there wondering if someone is going to climb into bed with me at 3am. I don't appreciate being woken up in the wee small hours to duff up some twit who has well overstepped the mark.

I just don't know them well enough. And people I don't know very well I don't trust to look out for me.

Unless you start dating someone you have known as a friend for many years, you are none the wiser about how they will behave behind closed doors and to try and pretend otherwise is daft. It probably will be ok, but there are plenty of woman out there who can tell you it wasn't for them.

And women never think about sex. They sit in their father's compound, pure in thought and deed until one day, a nice man from the village buys them and they live happily ever after. With sheets with a hole cut out of it for that sinful business, which is never thought of.

The only reason women don't seem to think about sex as much as men is because they multi-task better. And, with the aid of Tena Lady deluxe, can hide it better.

meg72

So pleased that this worked out safe for you best wishes Meg

meritaten

scuse me? you 'met' this guy once for a few hours and he has rang up and asked if he can stay with you? would you do that with a guy you met in the pub? just because he was at a family wedding does NOT make him harmless!
If you were raped by him while he was staying with you - the defence would have a field day! you invited him to stay overnight - ok I know by law no means no - but juries are influenced by such matters.
hun - you DONT know him and to let him stay overnight???????????? I wouldnt.