Need advice

Kate78

It sounds like you have decided what to do. I hope it all goes well. Relax and take your time, don't pressure yourself.

Radjo's advice is good, you can show him where his room is so that he can leave his things there straightaway and it just makes things easier.

Men can be insecure too you know, it may be that he will feel more comfortable once it's spelt out to him that it's a friends only arrangement (this time at least...).

BitterAndTwisted

It isn't difficult to "turn him down nicely" at all, especially if you've got the bed in the spare-room made up, you direct him there on arrival to put his things and don't give off any ambiguous signals from the start. Any sensible adult should be able to understand that being a guest in someone's home for the first time does not automatically signify that there's anything else on offer. If he assumes that, then he's the wrong bloke.

ema_o

Go for it :0)
I agree with advice about showing him his room. I also like the sound of him, like that he is staying at hotel on the Friday and that he has said he will stay at yours Sat anyhow and that you will go out.
If ex is likely to call in unannounced it might be worth mentioning it to this chap in advance. The fact that ex has asked you out on the same night does make me wonder if he thinks you have met someone, so would be worth being prepared at least a bit. None of his business, but maybe say to him "please take everything you need for the kids when you pick them up as I am going to be out most of the day and in the evening". Appreciate that might make him more likely to snoop but would depend what he is like, and at least you would have warned him (and you can safely say a friend with spare bed made up )

burnoutbabe

January20 wrote: »

Goodness! You are making it sound like all men are sexual predators and you can't trust them to use the guest room and remain in there! How unfair!

OP, you just have to make it clear that he will be staying in the spare room, he already knows you just want to be friends and as long as you don't flirt with him or lead him on in any way, if he is a decent guy (and yes there are some out there!) why should there be a problem?

its very unclear if this is a DATE, or 2 platonic friends meeting? it sounded like a date to me from the OP. So you'd spend the evening being flirty/drinking wine/maybe some snogging, then its going to be awkward to say "go to your room". having a date in public would avoid all these complications.

GEEGEE8

I would go for it..
If he is anything like my BF then sex on the first 'date' isn't the best first impression anyhow, we left it 3 weeks!! Altho lots of kissing is nice if you do hit it off.
You don't want him to come up, hit it off, have sex and then feel awkward when he goes back to London.
If you do hit it off then there is no reason why you can't snuggle in bed together, but make it clear that you don't want to get too involved just yet.

I think it'll be a right laugh and you prob could do with a bit of fun and change!

louise3965

burnoutbabe wrote: »

its still asking for trouble. you will be spending the night feeling like a school marm going "no, don;t want to, please go to your bedroom" which will spoil any intended romance.

if you just want a booty call, then fair enough, if you want to date this man, don't have him in your house on the first date, he will try and sleep with you, you will have to turn him down nicely which is very awkward to do.

Not all blokes act like sex starved wild animals you know, he might be lonely and fed up too.

woody01

You are making it sound like all men are sexual predators

We are........well most of us.
Let's be honest here for a second. The slightest hint of a 'promise' and we more often than not go for it.

mackemdave

burnoutbabe wrote: »

its still asking for trouble. you will be spending the night feeling like a school marm going "no, don;t want to, please go to your bedroom" which will spoil any intended romance.

if you just want a booty call, then fair enough, if you want to date this man, don't have him in your house on the first date, he will try and sleep with you, you will have to turn him down nicely which is very awkward to do.

Bitter,jealous or both??????

burnoutbabe

mackemdave wrote: »

Bitter,jealous or both??????

neither

i'm just a realist, having a date at your own house is just asking for trouble and probably means you will sleep with him before you are ready.

Now if you want a ONS, thats fair enough. go for it.

if you want to just be mates without any dating action, then thats easy, its made clear that he stays in the spair room and there is no encoyragement at all for anything more.

if its a date and you are flirting/drinking some wine/getting touchy feely then chances are you will sleep with him as it gets awkward to say "oh no, i only go to base 2 on this date, off you go to your room".

so you share the bed "for a cuddle". and we all know what happens next.

but if your happy for a one off, then thats fair enough.

And yes, he could be a perfect gentleman. he is still a stranger though who you don;t know how well he will take no for an answer and not try and "press his luck as far as he can"

tell him you are on the blob that would put off most chaps who get over amourous.

Steel_2

Mutter wrote: »

Would love to know the !!!!!!!!, have no idea. Maybe a "Free loader? " Though why censored have no idea. Possibly am too innocent to understand.

Now you've got me counting the exclamation marks and jotting down possibles...I reckon it's bullsh*tter.

OP - sounds like his head might be screwed on as he intends to stay in a hotel for most of the visit. It sounds like he's taking his preparation seriously.

Don't be a consolation prize though if he stays with you on the Saturday night because he's been eliminated.

And don't get too bladdered in front of him, if only for the pure embarrassment factor to live through if you do something daft in front of him because you fancy him...:D

I know this all sounds draconian, but I've never forgotten a story someone told me about a guy she had met at a party. They talked on the mobile every now and then for a few month, he ended up coming to see her for a date while he was in the area for a business conference. Two shags later he's out the door telling her can't stop by again because he's married. She was so upset. Horrible !!!!!!!. I've never forgotten that. I felt like shoving his mobile up his !!!!.