Was my gift a strange one?

Spongbong

Hee hee I shall have to show this thread to my friend's husband and mine!:D

Yes the recipient absolutely loved them, at least she said she did .

thatgirlsam wrote: »

i wonder wether the other guy actually said it or maybe his wife was getting a sly dig in as she felt embarressed that she hadn't taken anything!

I'm certain that my other friend wasn't being snide and that it really was her hubby that made the comment because she's just not that kind of person. She's a very dear friend and she only told me because she was outraged that her husband didn't understand the meaning of the gift. She's asked me for some flowers too and she used to be a florist so they can't be that bad!

I think the only reason the other couple didn't take anything was because they've been guests at the house before whereas this was the first time I had been there. I don't think it was thoughtlessness.

Spongbong

kjmtidea wrote: »

I love love love your avatar by the way Spongbong.

Thank you! I adore Tim Minchin and went to see him at the Hay Festival recently; he was fantastic! He's a very talented guy...and a cutie too .

Steel_2

The only faux pas I think you made is spending time with these people. No way should your friends be even mentioning what their husbands thought of your gift or comments made when you were not in earshot. Surely they would know it would hurt you?

Next time you go to an event and they say something stupid say very loudly and very seriously: "I BEG your pardon??" and then look very hurt. They will soon feel like heels for being rude. Some people get away with being rude because no-one calls them on it. These people probably speak to their spouse like cr*ap and forget to drop the attitude and kick the manners into gear outside the home.

And if your husband was part of that, he needs a manners readjustment too. Point out if he does that again, you won't hesitate to make him feel crap in front of other people. He should be the first one defending you and making you feel good. You're a team.

piratefairy

Digressing ever so slightly, it always amazes me when I go somewhere and end up being the only one who thinks it's rude not to bring the host a gift.

I also agree with the posts on this thread that home-made and homegrown gifts are so much more thoughtful, and think it's sad that the general consumer perception is such that a home-made item is seen as cheaper / inferior when in fact i believe it should be the other way around. such is consumer-driven society!

clairehi

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

I think this demonstrates not that you made a mistake, but that they have bought so completely into our consumer culture that they can't see what gift giving is really about. After all, there are no adverts telling them that fresh flowers from the garden are a good gift.

Completely agree with this!

It is sad that so many people think that home-made is second best.
Unfortunately I think this is often misguided snobbery about "not being able to afford" to buy a present. For most of us these days, our time and thought is much a more rare and precious gift than a bunch of petrol station flowers or a bought cake.

Also cant believe the cheek of these blokes, wonder how often it would occur to them to organise a present for anyone.

look_after_the_pennies

I think you were very thoughtful in giving the wine and the flowers. Many people simply do not bother nowadays to take a gift when they go round someones for a meal.

JessicaFletcher

flippin36 wrote: »

No, not a faux pas. What is a faux pas, is to make rude comments about other peoples gifts.

I agree with this 100%. I think it is exceptionally bad manners to comment negatively on people's gifts.

I would be delighted to receive home-grown flowers! It would be a meaningful gift.

trixietoes

Home grown, hand made, home made... all the perfect gift as far as I am concerned, but then I go for sentiment rather than cost like the other posters. Your roses where far better and much much more thoughtful. I would love anything someone had spent their making/gathering for me.

SkintGypsy

I think it was a lovely gesture and would have been delighted to receive your flowers. I make people cakes. I hope I don't get slagged off for not buying them! Some people simply have no taste!

clairibel

Time, effort and thought counts for a lot in my book moreso than money on bought bouquets

I once made my mum some cookies for mothers day, they were nothing fancy, i just presented them nice in a little tin and she always said that was the best mothers day pressie she has ever had because i spent time and thought