Money Moral Dilemma: Should we stop splitting the bill?

*Louise*

Come ON!!! Who goes out for a meal and orders TWO main courses??? Never mind splitting the bill, I would be embarrassed being out with such gluttons...it would take them ages to finish and I would have to wait for my own pudding :rotfl:

I love reading threads like these though, it never ceases to amaze me how inconsiderate some people can be. I will quite happily round up a £17 meal to £20 (for example) but there's no chance I would sit by and watch someone scoffing down two mains or ordering umpteen bottles of wine while I sit with a coke...and then pay them or the priviledge? Notta chance.:p

jasperneedlework

Hi In a way yes to stop splitting the bill and just pay for whay you order as it's unfair and could ruin things. Maybe there's a tactful way of saying that's for our meals and they can put the rest. I've been in a similar situation and it's unfair. I don't have much and fair enough I have to pay for myself but when someone else has had something more expensive and the price gets shared evenly why should I pay for someone elses meal?. Because of it I don't go for a lot of bit meals and especially after a family berevement I was charged £10 over the odds for a chinese banquet. In a way it's taking advantage of someone and if I say something I end up not being liked for it but why should someone else sit back and get their meal part paid for by me who has not had as much or had expensive drinks/dishes. Maybe you could do something else like dine in and get M & S dine for two promo £10 x 2 for the four of you and suggest that as an alternative. Maybe say £5 extra to get starters and dine at home with two bottles of wine - take it in turns. If you wish to do it tactfully and be friendly maybe say something like that.
When going out you do want to have a nice time and I'm just not talking about a couple of quid here and there it's when it's nearly £10. The person I have in mind is all to willing to take the hand out on the meal but when roles are reveres squeels like anything in return when done to them. I don't wish to talk about anyone but what I'm talking about is being willingly taken advantage of for meals as not everyone is fortunate to have lots of money to say pay the bill doesn't matter what it costs. As the saying goes a fool and his money are easily parted but neither am I a skinflint either just realistic at not being taken for a right ole mug!

robpw2

I always feel really awkward in splitting the bill situations and often feel like i have come back shortchanged so i tend to avoid them at all costs and is why i like weathrspoons because you pay when you order avoids all issues

elvis86

robpw2 wrote: »

I always feel really awkward in splitting the bill situations and often feel like i have come back shortchanged so i tend to avoid them at all costs and is why i like weathrspoons because you pay when you order avoids all issues

You wouldn't go to Wethespoons for a special occasion though would you?:D

Anywhere half decent, everything is going to go on a tab and the bill is going to come at the end.

robpw2

Depends who i am going with lol - most of the people i know are skint students lol

lidlest

I'm a bit of a drinker (sheesh that sounds bad lol), what I mean is if i go out for a meal I like to have some nice wine with it. Overall I drink more than most of my friends, so I always chip in extra before the bill is split. There are some decent people out there

I have friends though that do drink as much as me, if not more and they NEVER contribute the extra, so I know how frustrating it is. I think people should just be a little more aware of prices.

In some cases however, 4 cokes can cost the same as a bottle of wine... but people presume because they haven't drunk alcohol they don't have to pay as much.

awareness all round would be best!

millerose

lidlest wrote: »

In some cases however, 4 cokes can cost the same as a bottle of wine... but people presume because they haven't drunk alcohol they don't have to pay as much.

awareness all round would be best!

I totally agree with this post! :j

I went to a chinese buffet restaurant with friends for someones birthday. A glass of coca cola cost £2.50. I had 4 glasses and drinks alone cost me £10 yet a bottle of wine cost £12. 2 friends shared the wine at £6 each. I spent more on NON ALCOHOL. its now more expensive to drink pop!:mad:

Avalon_Adam

In Australia its normal at teh end of every meal out to see a frantic grab of napkins and pens and everyone works out there share.
Would you let friends come round to your house and open your fridge and say' Oh I havnt been shopping this week, can i help myself to food you paid for?'
Well off or not , friends or work colleagues, we always pay for our share and tip genourously if it was good service and allow the other party to do the same.
I dont think the couple have to say anything, thety should just grab the menu at teh end of teh meal and bring out a pen. the other couple will soon get the hint.

abbi

Personally I doubt they're doing it deliberately (you can reasonably work under that assumption, anyway), and just being upfront about the fact you'd prefer to simply pay for what you eat shouldn't be an issue. If it is they're not real friends. And if they're a bit sniffy when it's first raised, they'll soon see your point when their real share costs twice as much as usual. Even if they then change their ordering habits, give them the benefit of the doubt - they may just not have thought much about what they were spending before.

I hate the bill splitting thing, but for the opposite reason. I like sides almost as much as the mains, and I like expensive food like lobster. Sometimes I even fancy a cocktail. Back BD (before divorce) when I could spend money without thinking, I would often have to choose less food than I'd ideally want, or choose cheaper dishes, because I knew that particular groups of friends had less money but would vehemently refuse my attempts to pay extra for my very significantly more expensive food, and it made me feel uncomfortable if I ate food I knew they'd never order themselves because of the cost. I routinely point out if my choices cost way more than the general average and at least try to pay mine so the rest can be split. I don't mind bill splitting if everyone has had roughly the same, but I especially hate it when I can see that one person has eaten and drunk virtually nothing.

I was in an excruciatingly awkward position at a group dinner for my birthday, when one couple arrived separately. The wife arrived first by a wide margin and sat next to me. She told me (the two other people already there didn't hear) that they were having serious money worries and her husband's job was in imminent danger and that she'd come along to be sociable but she'd just nibble some of his meal (most of us were having a set price thing) and eat a starter as a main. She was drinking tap water. The table then filled up, much wine was drunk and many, many beers casually ordered. Her husband arrived in time for a couple of drinks with the food, but then when the bill came they were all (husband included) insisting on splitting it - thankfully my sister dove in and forcibly commandeered paying my share as someone started making noises about splitting that too - I was mortified and trying to explain that the wife didn't count as a participant for bill-splitting purposes, but they all clearly felt I was being petty. The husband most of all. I felt totally trapped between the wife who had quietly and politely asked for my help keeping costs down (then sat out my attempt to ensure that they didn't end up paying £40 for food and drinks she hadn't consumed), and her husband who clearly wanted to split bills as they perhaps usually would. No doubt a more socially adept person than I would have handled it perfectly, but I just made rather a tit of myself

Lorac29_2

I read this forum with interest, some of the stories are beyond belief!

There are some restaurants around now (not sure if I can name names here....??) which issue a kind of credit card to each person on the way in, then everyone pays for what they put on their card on the way out. I def use this restaurant for certain friends! Is that something that is a possibility?

I know this is an akward situation but it might only have to be something you do once. I dont agree with giving an excuse to your friends as then will have to give one every time, but just say at the start of the meal when looking at the menu, that you would prefer it you paid for your share if they were in agreement.....they hardly have a basis to disagree.
To put it the other way round, I would be totally horrified if one of my friends thought I was taking advantage of them by splitting the bill evenly and would much much rather have 1 akward moment in a fun night and I am sure your friends are the same.