Money Moral Dilemma: Should we stop splitting the bill?

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Former_MSE_Lee
Former_MSE_Lee Posts: 343 Forumite
edited 15 June 2010 at 7:14PM in MoneySaving polls
This is a real life MMD so please bear in mind the MoneySaver in question will read your responses:
Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...
Should we stop splitting the bill?

We regularly eat out with another couple and split the bill. While my wife and I stick to one main each, they order two each and enough sides to feed an extra table adding £30 to the tab. Yet they never eat it all and always ask for a doggy bag for leftovers. I feel like I'm subsidising their food shop.

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  • Robothell
    Robothell Posts: 494 Forumite
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    The friends are, perhaps without realising, being unreasonable with this. I think you should tactfully address the issue and pay for what you order - either that or ask your friends to order only what they intend to eat there and then.
    Life in this world is, as it were, a sojourn in a cave. What can we know of reality? For all we can see of the true nature of existence is, shall we say, no more than bewildering and amusing shadows cast upon the inner wall of the cave by the unseen blinding light of absolute truth, from which we may or may not deduce some glimmer of veracity, and we as troglodyte seekers of wisdom can only lift our voices to the unseen and say humbly "Go on, do deformed rabbit again.....it's my favourite". © Terry Pratchett in "Small Gods"

    Founder member of the Barry Scott Appreciation Society
  • pooh_bear17
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    I agree with the comment above - you need to address this or you're going to find yourself resenting your friends and spoiling the friendship. This is one of my pet hates - I usually get around it by totalling up what I've had and putting cash for roughly the right amount into the middle of the table rather than making an issue of it. Most people usually volunteer to add extra money if they know they've had more. I wouldn't split hairs and total up to the exact penny but its totally unfair to split the bill evenly if someone has an extra course, or if they add expensive drinks to the bill while you've paid for yours at the bar or are on soft drinks, no-one has money to subsidise others!

    Failing that perhaps you should suggest you go to one of those all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets instead next time!
  • 1ipstick
    1ipstick Posts: 87 Forumite
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    This happens to me all the time yet I've not worked out a way of being tactful about it (and I'm shy!). Two mains sounds a bit ridiculous though, and in my experience people ordering a whole extra dish will usually offer to make up the difference (less common with drinks, which is my main bugbear as I'm usually on soft drinks while friends can down several cocktails).

    Maybe one week say you are on a tight budget (beforehand) so can't chip in more than X amount. See if this affects what they order...
  • 2giraffes
    2giraffes Posts: 40 Forumite
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    Absolutely you should! I agree with the above post, you'll start to resent your friends so talk to them about it now so you can enjoy your next meal out! Either that, or order the same as them and ask for doggy bags too and see what reaction it gets, though that is not the money saving way to sort it out!
  • flossy_splodge
    flossy_splodge Posts: 2,533 Forumite
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    edited 24 June 2010 at 11:38AM
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    1ipstick wrote: »
    This happens to me all the time yet I've not worked out a way of being tactful about it (and I'm shy!). Two mains sounds a bit ridiculous though, and in my experience people ordering a whole extra dish will usually offer to make up the difference (less common with drinks, which is my main bugbear as I'm usually on soft drinks while friends can down several cocktails).

    Maybe one week say you are on a tight budget (beforehand) so can't chip in more than X amount. See if this affects what they order...
    This happened to my poor DD at the weekend.
    She went down to the smoke to visit her DS as she is leaving to live abroad shortly.
    She was included in a group with a particular person who is oblivious to the fact that not everyone has the money they have or wants to drink to the extent they do.

    Anyway the outcome was my poor DD ended up spending about £60-£80 as her 'contribution' to an assortment of bills all because she didn't want to upset her sister by speaking up.(This was on top of a cost of about £60 for fuel to get there!).:eek:

    The person who caused the problems was utterly oblivious to anyone not being comfortable with his grand gestures (oh lets get some more Champagne)etc etc and then he stated how much all should pay to cover what were basically HIS choices.

    So definitely speak up as these sorts of selfish unthinking people would benefit from a lesson in reality.
  • rcherryuk
    rcherryuk Posts: 17 Forumite
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    Yes, And you should have done this the 1st time!
  • tallgirld
    tallgirld Posts: 484 Forumite
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    If I was in that position I would.....
    a) stop splitting the bill
    b) stop eating out with the gluttons!!

    Alternatively take your calculator out next time you eat with them and pay for what you had.
    The cheek of it is they are taking home left overs. LOLLLLLL

    THEY ARE TAKING THE MICK!!
  • pineapple
    pineapple Posts: 6,931 Forumite
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    I honestly can't see any way out other than to say you are on a budget and can you get your own. Frankly it's a bit thoughtless of them. Some of us do think to put in more if we've had more expensive options.
    But I've had similar problems when out for a drink with friends, when it's customary to buy rounds. I'm sitting there nursing a half of something and my mates are downing shorts! You look like a scrooge if you don't join in.
  • gailsmum
    gailsmum Posts: 9 Forumite
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    Of course you should stop splitting ALL the bill, just split the cost of the mains, the rest is up to them!
    :)
  • secgirl
    secgirl Posts: 17 Forumite
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    Taking the mick just a wee bit methinks! I would say cannot afford to do this any more and will pay for our own food/ drinks and they can do likewise. No dilemma. And if they do not take it well, then perhaps they are not the friends you thought they were!?!
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