Money Moral Dilemma: Should we stop splitting the bill?

bennett2kuk

They're having a laugh. Nobody would get away with this with me. I never ever just split a bill with somebody that way and would never even think of starting now.

If you are of a quiet nature I'd just speak to the staff and ask them to supply 2 bills, if you don't mind telling it how it is you tell them that you're dividing it fairly. In any case how dare they order 2 main meals? Who honestly orders 2 mains when eating out. Fat pigs.

awehla

Just go, "well here's the money for ours" and they'll just have to pay for their share. Don't be afraid of annoying them/hurting their feelings, they have to learn.

Fujiko

Just a thought - have they actually got a dog? Or is the food they take home for tomorrow's lunch? What strange so-called "friends" some people have!

JanetLG

Me and my husband had this a few years ago. Due to go out with *real* friends, two other *acquaintances* invited themselves. Needless to say, they ate their way through the menu, including several bottles of wine. Me and my husband are vegetarian, and teetotal. The restaurant the acquaintances chose wasn't the one the original four had wanted to go to, either. When it came to paying, they said 'let's split the bill', and I was asked for £25. I assumed that was FOR THE TWO OF US, and was amazed when one of my friends said 'Sorry, but that's EACH!' I barely had the money to pay - the last few pounds were in very small change, so it was obvious we weren't expecting to pay that much. The embarrassment was palpable!

Me and my husband moaned to ourselves all the way home in the car, but not to the acquaintances' faces (couldn't face it at the time - just wanted to get away)....but it has meant that ever since, we are absolutely determined never to end up in that kind iof situation again. It is deliberate, I'm sure, that greedy people set out to be like that. Tell them up front that you'll pay for your own food, and watch their choices shrink :-)

alex871uk

brokeinwales wrote: »

The easiest and least confrontational way around this is to choose a set meal type restaurant (like an all you can eat buffet or lunch-for-£7 type affair) - that way the bill will split itself fairly automatically. If drinks are included you can quite politely say when you first order "shall we just get our own drinks at the bar as we want them so we don't waste anything?"

Definately best to diffuse the conflict before the bill arrives. Or consider if the friends pay you back in other ways and you owe it to them, eg donating loads of money to your charity in the case of a previous commenter (claim it on expenses?). This dilemma is probably worst for poor people with rich friends.

Few others here seem to grasp that the idea is to resolve the issue amicably WITHOUT knocking over the table and stealing their doggy bag.

Mrs_OBBM

Just order more food than they do and take all your left-overs home in doggy bags. Tell your friends that you've taken a leaf out of their book and learnt this trick from them - "Such a brilliant idea!" you can say. You may end up paying a bit more at the end of the meal but you'll save on food at home and if the bill is still split 50:50, they will be subsidising you for a change. Perhaps they'll get the hint .......

TRT

I'd grab their sides as they arrive and pile half on our plates. If they say anything, just point out that as the bill is being split 50/50, so should the food. e.g. a cry of "Hey! If you wanted chips, you should've ordered your own!" can be met with "Sorry, I thought as we were sharing the bill, we were sharing the side orders."

They'll soon get the message. Anyway, it should open up the whole issue of who pays for what and with that discussion open, the bill sharing arrangements can be re-negotiated.

Either that or a few comments about them putting on some extra pounds... heh heh heh!

*EDIT*
TWO mains. TWO!!! That's so out of order that I mis-read the dilemma at first. I'd just bring the issue up straight off as soon as they'd placed the order. Ask them which of their mains was the one for sharing! I also like the alternate the bill idea, but that has dangers if they then break the regular cycle.

alnorris

In my experience, with good friends this should never be an issue. I usually drive so my contribution is always a little less than everyone elses which is fair.

You really need to nip this in the bud before it ruins your friendship. I'd be completely honest and tactful from the start and next time you're arranging to go out (ie., before you've even got to the restaurant), simply say that you're watching the pennies at the moment and would it be ok if, instead of splitting the bill, you all just pay for what you have. I hardly think they'll say no and by doing it beforehand, you'll avoid any embarrassment at the restaurant and can relax in each others company and enjoy your meal. Alternatively, you could suggest trying somewhere new where they do, say, a set menu for a set price.

If your friends are "funny" about these suggestions, then I honestly don't think they're friends at all really.:(

Hope it works out for you and you can all remain friends.

Dave_Montford

These are no friends they are leaches, or just plain bad mannered, either way they are not friends. Next time they suggest going out for a meal, tell them you are busy, and keep doing it until they get the message.

essay_2

Simple solution. Discreetly ask the waiter for separate bills.