Pregnancy's Best Kept Secrets

deaththecat

Triker wrote:

deaththecat, what a unusual name, I'm intrigued, anyway don't be put off, ignore me, it all happened 13 years ago ............and yet...........despite the propaganda by the soft focus Mothercare catalogues......I haven't forgotton that fateful day when my body transformed into non functioning, incontinence suffering, large busommed, strrrrrreeeeettttttccccchhhhhhhhheeeeeeddd marked, big lady mother.

In my head I'm a supermodel.:rotfl:

Thanks, named in memory of our late cat (always great fun having that called out at the vets!)
The funniest thing about your post is that i actually had my first spawn about 17 months ago, so all the memories are still pretty fresh but your post was just so spot on.

ooobedoo

I have been sitting here laughing my head off, I remember laying on the bed in the OT, reaching down and felt something hard either side of my stomach.....shouting to my husband....what are these???????? YOUR RIBS YOU STUPID COW...it OT was full of a consultant, at least 3 nurses/midwives, and at least 4 other people....they were all laughing their heads off at me.

Then the nurse tells me, that the most effective way of pain relief is a horse tablet up my bottom......wasn't happy, but hey, I couldn't feel a bloody thing anyway!!!!!

ailuro2

you DO forget the level of pain though. We all moan but it can only ever last three days at most...:p

Oh, and yes,the physical movement of the baby down the birth canal pushes out any poo that is in your back passage which is why....

the runs are often a precursor of labour.

If you have the runs it's time to get someone to shave your legs and give you a trim "you know where" because for some strange reason you want to look your best, and hate the thought of anyone touching your stubbly legs if they have to hold up your legs.

Scottish-Diva

Funny stuff ladies:rotfl: :rotfl:
Just put a smile on my face when I have been miserable about our debt problems.....

My memories of giving birth:eek:
36 hour labour, severe swollen ankles, an epidural which didnt work:eek:
Bleeding so heavy that I felt sick when I looked in my pants:o
Scared to go to the toilet afterwards, in fact make that blooming terrified:rotfl:
Swollen boobies which I had to place cabbage leaves in my bra:p

The worse thing about giving birth is something I didnt know about....
No one told me about the afterpains, seriously such painfull contractions, made me sick, 3-5 days after my births, I was on the phone to my mum and aunty, both of whom have 5 kids between them and 'apparently' they couldnt remember this:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I was only a teenage when I had my first, so this was made worse by the horrible midwife I had, why do midwifes normally laways not have kids of their own and then offer 'advice' which is questionable????

Scottish-Diva

Forgot to add, I would LOVE another baby:j
What you go through is forgotten about when you see your little bundle

ailuro2

I'd love another also.

They don't tell you that another one doesn't automatically appear a year after the first one you made without even trying too hard.:sad:

Scottish-Diva

^^^
Happened here too:j
surprise...more like total shock:rotfl:

ooobedoo

I have 16 week to go till my daughter is born, have a 4yr old. I remember sitting on the toilet wondering why it takes so many muscles to poo.....and having to hold my stomach whenever I laugh, cough or sneeze. Have to remember not to watch the Friday night project..........

Scottish-Diva

Im worried about having another baby mind you, my last birth was awful, worse than the first, and the afterpains were horrific.
Does anyone know whether these pains will come with a 3rd or is it anyones guess:eek:

Scottish-Diva

I have just remember about my sense of smell during pregnancy:rolleyes:
Hated the smell of cooking, lard, dog food:rolleyes: and for some weird reason I couldnt put petrol in the car, becuase the smell made me ill......