Pregnancy's Best Kept Secrets

Lillibet_2

That your gums become so sensitve & toothpaste makes you projectile vomit your morning sickness so much that you give up cleaning your teeth all together & just swill the tiniest amount of listerine around your mouth & to hell with the cavities you will get.

That breast feeding hurts more than labour for the first 3 weeks. I didn't scream, cry,swear or sob during labour, I did copious amounts of all 3 during early BF.

That all the weight you lost during BF will pile back on within HOURS of when you stop BF.

That sex never feels quite the same after a epis....epsio.....oh, a fannyectomy. You know what I mean. And we all know that sex during the first year afterwards is non-existant right? Or is that just us?:o

oldMcDonald

Coupon-mad wrote:

Four kids, one word: PILES! :eek:

OMG, yes!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

and to add....

5 kids, seven words: crappy bladder control when coughing, laughing, sneezing!!!



I wish I had been told to believe how very, very important pelvic floor exercises were!

Lisa

oldMcDonald

.......stitches can bloody hurt and you may have to have them taken out and done again the day after giving birth if you agreed to the student midwife stitching you up.

hex2

Just how fast one can come out!!!!!!! As in too fast for medical staff to keep up with both times.

'normous 'nockers as in bloody great water melons, and just how much breast feeding for the first time hurts, and carries on hurting every time he latches on for a few weeks

Cat trying to latch on when I was leaking - this happened to a friend too so I know I am not the only one.

People thinking that because you are pregnant that they have the right to touch you

How stupid you get - combination of tiredness and hormones is not good

and on the flip side, how nice a home birth is!
how helpful and kind other people can be

suekjw

How many people would have to examine my more 'intimate' area. I went in to be induced, that failed. So, with 3 attempts at that, all the examinations to say I hadn't progressed, I must have had 15 lots of hands up there! I felt like selling tickets! "Roll up, Roll up, see the unsoftened cervix for yourself..."

Ended up with a CS too, so the 'how much you'd bleed' I'd agree with too. Thought it would all be done and dusted, how wrong I was!

lisa_75

After you have given birth "down below" looks like it has gone 10 rounds with Frank Bruno

Breastfeeding does not "just happen". Some of us can't manage it and are made to feel like a faliure by midwives.

Piles

suekjw

lisa_75 wrote:

Breastfeeding does not "just happen". Some of us can't manage it and are made to feel like a faliure by midwives.

Not sure how but I forgot that one!

After birth, whatever you do someone will try make you feel guilty in some way for the decisions you make. You do learn to ignore this, but it can take time to learn to mentallt stick the V's up at people as they lecture you!

Becles

all the above,

and if you've got cuts or tears down below, how much does it sting when you have a wee - oooooowwwwwww :eek:

If you have a rhesus negative blood group, you have to have an anti-D injection following the birth. This is a big needle that gets hammered into your bum muscle. It hurts like hell, and you can't sit on that bum cheek for the rest of the day :eek:

It was the bleeding that scared me. Midwife "oh just your normal sanitary pads will be fine". Had a nap and woke up to find the front of my nightie was soaked in blood :eek: Emergency call to Mam - help! Please get some proper thick maternity pads

tranmererovers

I've just been laughing throught this thread nodding my head at all the posts - how very true they all are.

My first had to be induced which took 3 days and lots of prodding and internals.

My second was 10 days late and although labour was spontaneous it all slowed down when baby dis engaged his head and turned around.

My waters wouldn't break and I had Midwife try, then senior Midwife, then midwife specialist then registrar and still no joy at which point I was shouting - 'anyone not had a go yet - who's next' - dh was mortified!!

Becles

Posted this elsewhere the other day:

Picture the scene after you've just had baby and you are lying in a hospital bed. Your belly looks like a burst balloon, your boobs are heavy and uncomfortable with milk, you're bleeding heavily down below, and delicate areas down there are all scratched and torn. You are completely knackered and just want to sleep, and a nurse plonks herself on the bed to do a post natal check and asks "now have you thought about contraception?"

How many people are actually thinking about contraception at that time?