Pregnancy's Best Kept Secrets

whatamess_2

The injection just as you are about to deliver!!! rammed into your leg.

The local given in the perinium if you need an episiotomy.

My midwife got a kick (reflex reaction) in the shoulder for that one.:eek: :rotfl:

Roll over let me check your stiches.

Quackers

whatamess wrote:

:eek: Nobody warned me about the after pains!!!:eek:
.

No-one mentioned those to me either. I thought I had another baby in there.

Why do they only happen after your second baby?

I told my sister about them when she got pregnant with her second but she thought I was winding her up. The day after giving birth she believed me :rotfl:

Coupon-mad

Four kids, one word: PILES! :eek:

whatamess_2

Coupon-mad wrote:

Four kids, one word: PILES! :eek:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

OUCH!!!!!!

bethom

That ya boobs would ache and leak even if it was another baby crying!! :eek:

My DD was silent round tesco and all I could hear was another newborn crying and it set me off good and proper. :eek:

Quickest shop I have ever done!! :rotfl:

looby75

3 words...internal ultrasound scans.:o

Ok so are about 10 weeks pg, you go to the loo and find you are spotting. You end up in the genecology clinic, because this isn't the first time this has happened. You are busting for a wee, due to the fact that have been given a gallon of water to drink so they can get a clear pic of your womb through the "window a full bladder provides". You lie on the bed while they smear ice cold jelly on your flabby bits, then repeatedly press a glorified barcode scanner directly into your massively over-inflated bladder. After what feels like an eternity, and at least one small leak, you are told that the u/s nurse can't get a clear pic due to "maternal fat" (i.e. the fact you aren't a stick insect) You are asked to consent to an internal u/s scan "just to make sure everything is ok"

You are sent to the loo to empty the bladder you have spent the last 2+ hours filling to the max and return to scene that wouldn't be out of place in any fetish/bondage movie :eek: . A latex gloved nurse is rolling a condom onto the biggest phallic "probe" you have ever seen in polite company. You are instructed to lie on the bed, and told to place you backside on some pillows carefully arranged [STRIKE]for maximum exposure so[/STRIKE] in the best position to be scanned!

I'll let everyones imagination fill in the next part! _pale_

Any way, After you've gone through all that you are then told that everything is ok (hopefully) and that it is actually quite common for some women to experience a small amount of bleeding when their period would have normally been due for the first 3-4 months of pg!

Happy days, and all part of being a woman :rolleyes:

Jummy

Sorry to say i did a little poo as well.
The midwife was very discreet and didn't say anything she just got a tissue and cleaned me up bless her.
I had stitches as well which became infected.
Breasfeeding only lasted 2 weeks as i got so sore i couldn't bear it any longer.
Apart from that everything else was a doddle.

Christmasshopper

That you won't just get bigger around your tummy like the pregnant Barbie doll. You will get enormous ankles, a double chin, swollen fingers, bleeding gums, and huge breasts. You will have heartburn everytime you lie down, and bags under your eyes from lack of sleep. :eek: At this point your female friends and relatives will tell you that you look radiant and male friends and relatives will look puzzled and keep quiet!:rotfl:
If toy shops sold realistic pregnant Barbies it would probably do more to cut down pregnacy rates in young girls than any amount of sex education. They could perhaps have a little pull-cord that when the little girl pulls it Barbie would speak. She could scream at Ken and use phrases like "if you ever come near me again i'll...!:mad:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

whatamess_2

Had forgotten the heart burn:eek:
Had it really bad with all three of mine.:eek:

CGG

I knew the baby growing inside me had to come out sometime. But put off thinking about that, and secretly hoped it'd be by C-Section, (as this would be the easy option...!)
At 34 weeks I was hospitalised with pre-eclampsia and told I wouldn't be going home until after baby was born. One week dragged by. Two weeks d-r-a-g-g-e-d by - and then the decision was made I needed to have emergency C-Section.
All went swimmingly. But no-one told me it would be murder for the following few days when trying to sit up in bed, and as for getting off the bed - well I had to psyche myself up for an hour before I could brace myself to get out...
But the other shock was finding out I had to inject my 'belly-area' with a syringe of something called Heparin, an anti-blood clotting agent - every day for 42 days. I cried. And cried. There was no way I could inject myself...!
I should've been pre-warned. When I was discharged from hospital, almost 3 weeks after going in initially with pre-eclampsia, at injection-time, I'd stand pinned against the bathroom wall as OH literally aimed the syringe at my belly and just went for it, plunging that needle in like I was a dart board. Oh, how I sobbed.