meet the parents (not)

missprice

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

To be honest I would have gone to the xmas party- you could have always made an excuse if you didn't like it and wanted to go home. I think they might think it a bit strange that you refused to come to both the xmas and birthday party- they are very family orientated events after all, so the fact you were invited suggests they wanted to meet you and include you in their lives. Anyway, I do think you're cutting off your nose to spite your face in no longer wanting to meet them. Ignore your OH and organise something yourself and invite them- that way you can do what you want to do and meet them on your terms.

agreed this is a good idea
i declined the invite because it was xmas
i have some (3) family too
i didnt want them to think they had to put up with the interloper (me)
plus only i was invited not my kids, i kinda come as a package:)

missprice

sp1987 wrote: »

I think it has been so long it has built up into an issue that isn't really an issue.

Do you want to meet them or not, does he want you to meet them or not?

If you both get a ''yes'' then invite them over to you, or you go to them....so if you do get fed up of them, you can pretend there is a family emergency and run away.

I'm sure they are wondering why you are declining invitations to go to family gatherings, and probably feel that you don't think they are good enough to visit. You should appreciate someone has invited you to their family party as technically you aren't their relative, you are a +1 of someone who is.

Go and visit them, the worst that can happen is they are complete fools like some in laws are.

yep it is an issue now and should not be.
my thinking for simply not meeting them is that they can blame me all they like for being stand offish
i wont care cos i wont hear it:)
and it would hopefully no longer be an issue
he now does want me to meet them
i am very undecided

missprice

euronorris wrote: »

Are you serious?

My OH isn't a fan of big social gatherings with loads of people he doesn't know. He hates them in fact! Make him very nervous and uncomfortable.

But.....due to the fact that we had a lon distance relationship at first, the opportunities to meet the family were far fewer than normal. And you know what, he met most of them for the first time at my sister's wedding. And had to sit on a table with people he'd only just met, without me, as I was on the head table (bridesmaid).

It was a really hard thing for him to do, but he did it anyway because a) it was important to me and b) he wanted to meet them.

It seems as if you want everything your own way, on your terms, ALL the time. Life doesn't work that way I'm afraid, so you need to get over it and make the effort to meet them.

possibly you actually wanted your partner to meet your family???
maybe you invited him without him having to mention it
maybe its automatic in your family to just invite OHs along as soon as something comes up
it seems to not be that way with my OHs family hence a 2 year wait to be invited
despite at least 3 gatherings

JimmyTheWig

Hold on a minute...

Miss Price...
Prima Donna...
An old nickname that the OP hasn't used since years before meeting partner that would be used at a family gathering of people she's never met...

Is the OP Jordan?

gordikin

TBH you are sounding very very childish.

mackemdave

missprice wrote: »

yep it is an issue now and should not be.
my thinking for simply not meeting them is that they can blame me all they like for being stand offish
i wont care cos i wont hear it:)
and it would hopefully no longer be an issue
he now does want me to meet them
i am very undecided

The longer you put it off for the worse it gets.......cant you call in on them en route to another appointment then you have got an excuse to leave after an hour or so...if youve enjoyed it the you can go back for longer.........No going though is causing you anxiety and issues which need not be there

DKLS

Am so surprised the Op is female as this sound like a classic "big gay hissy fit"

jackieglasgow

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Hold on a minute...

Miss Price...
Prima Donna...
An old nickname that the OP hasn't used since years before meeting partner that would be used at a family gathering of people she's never met...

Is the OP Jordan?

Fantastic!!!!!!!!! Are you a Troll, OP?:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

missprice

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Have YOU invited them round instead since you have such clear views about how such a meeting might take place?

From their point of view you've already declined two opportunities to meet them so in their shoes I'd guess that you didn't want to be involved in the family at all.

Why do people think you're a guy by the way? Didn't you say we girls want to meet the families? (missing the confused icon right now)

PS you do also come across as very bossy, but maybe that's just how you're writing things.

lol no am not bossy
just didnt want to drop OH in it if i said summat like 'when we live in canada'
so it made sense to tell his parents first, he still hasnt btw.
siggy at the bottom of posts says regards mark, cant remember how to change it
not invited them yet, but it is a possibility, i am thinking about that.

mancitychick

Personally I think meeting at the party is great idea as there will be plenty of people to talk to and you'll get to meet his parents in an informal sistuation and will only have to make small talk as they will have all there other guest to talk to aswell. Whereas in a cafe it could end up forced and stilted conversation. Good luck.

Besides its one night, if you don't get on you don't have to see them again and if you don't like them who cares what they think of you!

good luck