meet the parents (not)

Apricot

Seems like you only want to meet the parents on your terms. Maybe the parents don't feel that there needs to be a "royal visit" where they can concentrate solely on you and a relaxed informal party is a great way of meeting people without being put under pressure to make inane conversation.

Seriously, have a think about it - you are being petty.

mackemdave

No wonder so many relationships split up if people have your attitude...it stinks.....Ive been seeing someone for 8mths and all her family live in the US...in March we went across and met them....loved every minute of meeting them....I didnt go across with the attitude of lets get this over and done with...

belfastgirl23

ClareEmily wrote: »

Cos he's post ends in regards Mark

Fair enough, albeit a bit bizarre

brians_daughter

OP send post with regards Mark, but does state
"so around oct/nov i met the 2 sisters. fine and dandy but we women want to meet the parents:p"

so not too sure if op is male/female. anyway - op yeah you are being unreasonable. You ahve been invited to key family occassions and refused. TBH if any of my families oh refused like you have without good reason i wouldnt give them the time of day! You arent coming across as having a good reason,more selfish and along the lines of 'i may not lkke them so want to keep it short and sweet then i am not stuck there with them' (which is how you come across)

dotstar24

missprice wrote: »

t it nust be a cafe or summat so that the whole thing wont/cant take too long.

and your wondering why you've not met them sooner?? if my oh was as demanding / high maintenance as you, i'd put it off aswell!! grow up and go to the party. there will be loads of people there and it wont be as high pressured as meeting just the two of them in a cafe.

you cant control every aspect of your life

missprice

kindofagilr wrote: »

Yes you are being petty

You went on and on and on at OH to arrange for you to meet the parents and then when he does you decline the invitation many times?

So what if its at a party and you would have to stay there a few hours, thats what happens at parties, you wanted to meet them, so meet them.

ETA woah you are a guy lol, sorry didnt expect a guy to act like this

no not a guy cant remember how to change the thing at the bottom
did not make any fuss for the first year
and was not invited to anything
second year i mentioned it i think 3 or 4 times and it ended in a row
am bit shy and not great at parties, and it would not be a few hours
from the ones he has been to without me they appear to last all day
its the way i have written it i think, cos its a bit raw with me that they ignored the fact i existed for over a year and NOW its ok

missprice

thatgirlsam wrote: »

to be fair you have had a couple of chances to meet them but declined

maybe his family feel you don't want to know them and are a bit funny about meeting you now?

is OH close to his family?

he not so close that they talk every day but they not distant

his family may well feel that way but so do i having waited a loooong time to be invited.
i was not a secret, yet i was not invited to anything until i made a fuss
the party has yet to happen i can be a girl and change my mind and go:)
however if i do this i feel i will have to keep quiet about stuff and respond to my old nickname that has not been used for 15 years or more
not impossible i grant you

missprice

*Chattie* wrote: »

what on earth do you want? ask them for dinner yourself if you dont want to go to a party but if I were the parents Id be thinking there was something wrong with you now.

yes thank you not a bad idea.

missprice

ClareEmily wrote: »

I agree sorry you are being petty, go to the party and enjoy yourself.

Why if you meet in a cafe can't it last very long?

I have told him to...tell his parents this and the other, you sound really demanding

true i have told him to tell his parents stuff
i personally think leaving the country forever (as planned) is a big step
one would have thought his family would know
then if i did say something it wouldnt drop like a lead balloon

the cafe is surely better than mine or theirs
its neutral ground i was after by suggesting it
plus ya can always get another coffee and make it last longer or not get another coffee if its not going well

sp1987

missprice wrote: »

no not a guy cant remember how to change the thing at the bottom
did not make any fuss for the first year
and was not invited to anything
second year i mentioned it i think 3 or 4 times and it ended in a row
am bit shy and not great at parties, and it would not be a few hours
from the ones he has been to without me they appear to last all day
its the way i have written it i think, cos its a bit raw with me that they ignored the fact i existed for over a year and NOW its ok

I think it has been so long it has built up into an issue that isn't really an issue.

Do you want to meet them or not, does he want you to meet them or not?

If you both get a ''yes'' then invite them over to you, or you go to them....so if you do get fed up of them, you can pretend there is a family emergency and run away.

I'm sure they are wondering why you are declining invitations to go to family gatherings, and probably feel that you don't think they are good enough to visit. You should appreciate someone has invited you to their family party as technically you aren't their relative, you are a +1 of someone who is.

Go and visit them, the worst that can happen is they are complete fools like some in laws are.