meet the parents (not)

missprice

ok i have posted on here before that i dont care about meeting OHs parents.

well its a lie sorta

have been together over 2 years now, and in the first year i was hurt by not meeting the parents, or any other family in fact
but i realised that ok its a long time but maybe he doesnt see it that way.leave him to it.

then late last year i lost my rag about it (have mentioned it before but led to rows) and demanded he fix the situation
so around oct/nov i met the 2 sisters. fine and dandy but we women want to meet the parents:p

so after waiting what seemed ages i get invited to the family xmas thing to 'meet the parents'
well at these things you dont want to be intoduced to loads of people you will never remember the names of and of course no excape from it if you end up hating them.
so i declined
the parents promptly went off on a 3 month hol so no chance to meet them
now i have been invited to a parents party (not know what b.day or summat) and again i declined because i will be stuck there for hours or demand OH takes me home which would make me look petty.

I now am fed up of the whole thing and simply dont want to meet them at all. (i was like this last yearabout whole familyl tbh)
yes i have told OH many many many many times that if we really have to meet it nust be a cafe or summat so that the whole thing wont/cant take too long.
i have told him to tell them my name not my nickname
i have told him to tell the parents we planning to move out of the country
none of this has happened
an i being really petty

should i just grit my teeth and meet them (i am not backwards about coming forwards so it'll be hard to say nothing)

i need a way to be able to talk about his family and not let my blood pressure skyrocket

kindofagilr

Yes you are being petty

You went on and on and on at OH to arrange for you to meet the parents and then when he does you decline the invitation many times?

So what if its at a party and you would have to stay there a few hours, thats what happens at parties, you wanted to meet them, so meet them.

ETA woah you are a guy lol, sorry didnt expect a guy to act like this

thatgirlsam

to be fair you have had a couple of chances to meet them but declined

maybe his family feel you don't want to know them and are a bit funny about meeting you now?

is OH close to his family?

*Chattie*

what on earth do you want? ask them for dinner yourself if you dont want to go to a party but if I were the parents Id be thinking there was something wrong with you now.

ClareEmily

I agree sorry you are being petty, go to the party and enjoy yourself.

Why if you meet in a cafe can't it last very long?

I have told him to...tell his parents this and the other, you sound really demanding

Fuzzy_Duck

To be honest I would have gone to the xmas party- you could have always made an excuse if you didn't like it and wanted to go home. I think they might think it a bit strange that you refused to come to both the xmas and birthday party- they are very family orientated events after all, so the fact you were invited suggests they wanted to meet you and include you in their lives. Anyway, I do think you're cutting off your nose to spite your face in no longer wanting to meet them. Ignore your OH and organise something yourself and invite them- that way you can do what you want to do and meet them on your terms.

nearlyrich

I agree you sound like a Diva I was shocked that guys behave like this!

GEEGEE8

Is this a gay relationship? Do his parents know he is gay? and how do they feel about it?

Sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick!

euronorris

Are you serious?

My OH isn't a fan of big social gatherings with loads of people he doesn't know. He hates them in fact! Make him very nervous and uncomfortable.

But.....due to the fact that we had a lon distance relationship at first, the opportunities to meet the family were far fewer than normal. And you know what, he met most of them for the first time at my sister's wedding. And had to sit on a table with people he'd only just met, without me, as I was on the head table (bridesmaid).

It was a really hard thing for him to do, but he did it anyway because a) it was important to me and b) he wanted to meet them.

It seems as if you want everything your own way, on your terms, ALL the time. Life doesn't work that way I'm afraid, so you need to get over it and make the effort to meet them.

belfastgirl23

Have YOU invited them round instead since you have such clear views about how such a meeting might take place?

From their point of view you've already declined two opportunities to meet them so in their shoes I'd guess that you didn't want to be involved in the family at all.

Why do people think you're a guy by the way? Didn't you say we girls want to meet the families? (missing the confused icon right now)

PS you do also come across as very bossy, but maybe that's just how you're writing things.

ClareEmily

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Have YOU invited them round instead since you have such clear views about how such a meeting might take place?

From their point of view you've already declined two opportunities to meet them so in their shoes I'd guess that you didn't want to be involved in the family at all.

Why do people think you're a guy by the way? Didn't you say we girls want to meet the families? (missing the confused icon right now)

Cos he's post ends in regards Mark