working children paying keep - how much?

poohbear59

I am struggling finacially at the moment and have asked my two sons who are working to pay a contribution towards their keep. Because they have an older brother who is a student and not paying for his keep they won't either. Apart from the cost of living rising, they also use much more electricity now that they have bought new equipment with their pay. Also I have now lost out on CTC and CB and am over £300 a month down on money coming in. I am at my wits end struggling to manage the finances. I don't know how much they earn to even ask for a third towards living costs. My DD paid us £120 per month when she was working 3 days a week and also bought shopping too. I have just remorgaged to do house extension and I don't want that to disappear on groceries and fuel bills.

Sorry, as I seem to be moaning a lot but just needed to tell someone as DH just buries his head in the sand.

Smashing

poohbear59 wrote: »

I am struggling finacially at the moment and have asked my two sons who are working to pay a contribution towards their keep. Because they have an older brother who is a student and not paying for his keep they won't either.

In which case I would put my foot down and show them where the door is. You don't pay, you don't stay.

floss2

poohbear59 wrote: »

I am struggling finacially at the moment and have asked my two sons who are working to pay a contribution towards their keep. Because they have an older brother who is a student and not paying for his keep they won't either......

Maybe you could do the following & spend a bit of time preparing a document to state the facts as you've said above......

electricity usage (state each item, usage & cost per 10 minute block - should state this on the equipment)
food
rental charge (look in local paper for ideas)

Then offset the costs against the "contribution" that your student son makes by having a lower loan/grant figure because he lives at home - this is easily available on the student finance website.

Then write the equivalent cost in big bold black letters for the working sons to read - along with a letter giving 4 weeks notice. They will probably find that paying a sum at home will be cheaper than paying commerical rent & bils.

Idiophreak

poohbear59 wrote: »

Because they have an older brother who is a student and not paying for his keep they won't either.

Just tell them that it's the same rules for everyone, if they wanna go to study more, they won't have to pay, but while they're earning you want something toward their keep...Ask them how much they think is fair to pay and take it from their. "Won't" isn't an option.

JimmyTheWig

CB1979 wrote: »

as i've said before I'll be charging my kids "tax" on their "earnings" from birthday/xmas money, etc 22% taken off from about the age of 6 and put in a savings account without them knowing.

But won't they get a "tax-free" allowance?

poohbear59

Thanks, floss2, smashing and Idiophreak, I know how much the current rate is for rent as DD is renting locally, I did query whether a new HD flat screen TV used more power than a standard TV and DS2 is looking into this. I forgot to say that I own and pay insurance on a car for them which I was happy to do while they were studying, but not now, so I will need to figure that amount in too. They do housework for me and drive me places so I don't want to charge them too much but I need to work out how much they are costing me extra and then figure out a reasonable amount.

floss2

They probably feel hard-done-to because their brother isn't seen to be paying, they may not realise that he will get less in his loan/grant because he is living at home!

Don't forget things like phone charges / iPods / PC / laptop / hifi / printer all use power when on standby or even just plugged in if a charger. Maybe you could do an experiment with the meter to see how much the useage goes up or down room by room? It's fiddly, I know, but it may make them realise that electricity doesn't grow on trees!

Also, cost in things that you wouldn't buy if they weren't there - whether it be pizzas, posh comfy-bum toilet paper, branded goods......it all adds up.

wttgill

my first job was a YTS which didnt pay much at all, but i still had to pay 'board' (jokes about how boring it was paying everyweek lol) i seem to remember it was about 10 pounds as that was a third.. i didnt save any though... took that down the pub !!

my brother on the other hand was still paying 25 pounds a week untill he left home a couple of years ago and i have a feeling he was earning slightly more than 75 pounds a week

Pssst

I'd say 25% of take home pay as a minimum. Some parents think they are doing their children a favour by charging them nothing or very little. Infact this is a big mistake. as adults we must all pay our way...

HC_2

poohbear59 wrote: »

I am struggling finacially at the moment and have asked my two sons who are working to pay a contribution towards their keep. Because they have an older brother who is a student and not paying for his keep they won't either. Apart from the cost of living rising, they also use much more electricity now that they have bought new equipment with their pay. Also I have now lost out on CTC and CB and am over £300 a month down on money coming in. I am at my wits end struggling to manage the finances. I don't know how much they earn to even ask for a third towards living costs. My DD paid us £120 per month when she was working 3 days a week and also bought shopping too. I have just remorgaged to do house extension and I don't want that to disappear on groceries and fuel bills.

Sorry, as I seem to be moaning a lot but just needed to tell someone as DH just buries his head in the sand.

Pooh, I agree with the other posters about laying it on the line.

However, it's hard to say 'pay up or out!'

I would suggest withdrawing essential services.

Do you do their washing? Dry it and fold it neatly? I bet you do. Stop!

I'll guess also that when you're shopping you buy their favourite treats for the fridge or cupboard.

My view is that either they're adults who make a contribution (financial and otherwise) to the home, or they're not.

If they're not, then you have jurisdiction over what time they come in at night, and other aspects of their lives.

If they are, then they should contribute in the way you see fit.