working children paying keep - how much?

FZwanab

My Mum always told me that in life you never get to keep 100% of your income, percentages of it have to be spent on accomodation, food, and other bills. By taking board from me it was teaching me a very valuable lesson, you deduct what must be paid first, then put aside money for savings and then spend the rest.

Even on a little part time job my Mum decided 1/3 save, 1/3 spend, 1/3 Mum and Dad, but it was so little we changed it to 1/4. Its good to feel like you are giving something back to your family, that you are grown up now.

Nowadays with my own family, I do our family budget every month and the same rules apply, pay all the bills first and keep the money for food and petrol ready to withdraw, put money into our savings and then give myself and hubbie our spending money, so it is a good thing to do for your children as it will ultimately help them in the long run.

Timmne

This subject always gets people talking!

Sorry I haven't read all of it but wanted to put my bit in.

Parents who don't charge their kids (or charge them a peppercorn amount) are doing them more harm than good. It's very nice being the cute parent who loves their kid and would never dream of charging them to live in their family home, but it's doing nothing for their growing up.

I bought a flat 3 years ago and had no hand outs from my parents (sorry for this sounding a bit soap-boxey but bear with me please!), which made me work extra hard at a couple of jobs to 'make ends meet'.

Kids who live with their parents rent free have no idea what it's like to be an adult and slip into a habit of spending all of their salary on 'stuff'. When the real world slaps them in the @ss and they realise they need to move out, they'll be shocked to realise they can't afford it.

Charging them rent is necessary, even if it isn't needed for the parents' own pockets. The amount (IMO) should be at least 1/2 of their salary once they hit 20 years old. This ensures that they will be more pushed into getting somewhere of their own as they'll already be paying market rate.

Too many of my friends still live with their parents and despite reasonable earnings, they still "can't afford" to move out as everywhere they look costs more than the £200 they pay each month.

Do your kids a favour and charge them properly!

joanie

like the idea of a third to housekeeping/saving/spends sounds really neat way but when i was a teenager saving a third would have felt an enormous amount! not too bad if you are saving for something - house / car etc. but huge amount if it is just rainy day savings....(only my opinion):-)

Just to add my experience.... when I first started working I paid a quarter of my take home pay to mum and dad (won't mention that I always had to borrow off dad in the last week of the month-LOL- but it was always paid back at the next payday!) This was 30 years ago. but mum and dad knew I would save for a rainy day so were happy with this amount - plus i did ironing washing up and cleaning around the home to help and baby sitting for younger brother.
When my brother started work 12 years later - he wasn't a saver so mum reached an agreement with him... he could pay a quarter but he had to make regular savings - she knew his mates were going on holiday and he would want to go too(crafty!) but if he was just "wasting" all his income then she wanted a third off him! She figured why subsidise his "beer" money.

This worked for us - but obviously every family is different and each to their own :-)

laurajayne

Timmne wrote: »

This subject always gets people talking!

Too many of my friends still live with their parents and despite reasonable earnings, they still "can't afford" to move out as everywhere they look costs more than the £200 they pay each month.

Do your kids a favour and charge them properly!

To be fair, that's not always how it works - I'd love to move out, but I seriously can't afford it...my whole family has sat down to try and work out how I could afford to live on my own on my salary, and it just can't be done. I don't have a problem with not having the amount of disposable income I do now etc, but it would be close - too close for comfort. With all the price hikes, I could just about scrape an existance. If I had a bad month for whatever reason, it'd mess me up big time

So I'm waiting and I'm saving....if I met someone who I wanted to move in with, that would be different, but for now, it's not a good time.

robpw2

i THINKS charging your children rent is a great idea as they get to see what its like liveing in the real world

poohbear59

HC wrote: »

Pooh, I agree with the other posters about laying it on the line.

However, it's hard to say 'pay up or out!'

I would suggest withdrawing essential services.

Do you do their washing? Dry it and fold it neatly? I bet you do. Stop!

I'll guess also that when you're shopping you buy their favourite treats for the fridge or cupboard.

My view is that either they're adults who make a contribution (financial and otherwise) to the home, or they're not.

If they're not, then you have jurisdiction over what time they come in at night, and other aspects of their lives.

If they are, then they should contribute in the way you see fit.

Yep, I do loads for them. I decide to stop doing their washing drying folding etc for them as the amount of it was totally unreasonable. A mountain, 3 loads every day and I am disabled. Since I stopped DH has started doing it for them as he says he can't stand to see piles of dirty laundry everyhere.

I also buy all sorts of things that DH and I don't eat, noodles, yoghurts etc. I make my own yoghurt to be frugal. It is time to lay down the law.

I need to get them together to explain how it is now but I also need DH on side. He was a great disiplinarian (sp?) when they were little but now he disappears when there is any conflict.

chickalittle

Marker wrote: »

See, thats just laying your dramas on your children, its not their fault you were a single mum, why burden your children financially with it.

Idiophreck - Of course your parents should of done alot for you while you were younger, you are their child, why have children if you are not going to look after them, really confuddles me that. Im not for one second saying you should hand everything to your child on a plate, I hate spoilt kids, I hate them, but they didnt choose to be born and they dont choose what family they are born into, it is up to us as parents to ensure they get the best start in life, and learn about respect, morals and values.

You don't have to take their hard earned cash from them to learn that. I work hard for them, it doesnt just stop when they get a job. I work hard for them, when they have kids, they will work hard for them, etc etc.

Lol – where does the idea that I’ve “laid my dramas on my kids” come from?! And how am I burdening my kids financially because of it?
Whilst I agree that as parents we have a responsibility to give our children the best possible start in life- we are talking about young people and adults here who are out earning a living. They have a choice, move out and take on board all the costs associated with independent living or continue to live at home and where asked to - contribute towards their upkeep whilst hopefully being in a better position to save money for their future plans.
I'm not out to fleece my kids, they contribute just under a 1/4 of their net take home pay and they are still expected to do their bit helping round the house. However, they both use my car so on top of that they have to cover the additional insurance it costs to have them on my policy as well as contribute to the maintenance & upkeep of the car - they use it far more than me. That has given them some sense of the cost of running a car - and that it's not cheap!
I see later in the thread you make a point of mentioning how you scrimp and save - well, welcome to the club!

Timmne

laurajayne wrote: »

To be fair, that's not always how it works - I'd love to move out, but I seriously can't afford it...my whole family has sat down to try and work out how I could afford to live on my own on my salary, and it just can't be done. I don't have a problem with not having the amount of disposable income I do now etc, but it would be close - too close for comfort. With all the price hikes, I could just about scrape an existance. If I had a bad month for whatever reason, it'd mess me up big time

So I'm waiting and I'm saving....if I met someone who I wanted to move in with, that would be different, but for now, it's not a good time.

I disagree - there are always shared houses to move in to and if you're earning anything in excess of £1k per month, I can't see why anybody couldn't afford this.

You say you seriously can't afford it but as I say above, if you earn £1k per month you can. Your comment "I don't have a problem with not having the amount of disposable income I do now etc, but it would be close - too close for comfort." tells me the same story that my friends tend to tell- they could afford it, but they'd rather not risk it.

Our boiler broke a couple of months ago and that cost a few hundred quid to fix - we found the money for it even though we wouldn't have thought we could.

Parents need to be able to cut the umbilical cord when their kids grow up. It's not their problem that the kids want to be able to afford a nice cute comfortable apartment before they'll move out; remember people of my parents' generation were stretched in all directions too but they managed!

Marker_2

chickalittle wrote: »

Lol – where does the idea that I’ve “laid my dramas on my kids” come from?! And how am I burdening my kids financially because of it?
Whilst I agree that as parents we have a responsibility to give our children the best possible start in life- we are talking about young people and adults here who are out earning a living. They have a choice, move out and take on board all the costs associated with independent living or continue to live at home and where asked to - contribute towards their upkeep whilst hopefully being in a better position to save money for their future plans.
I'm not out to fleece my kids, they contribute just under a 1/4 of their net take home pay and they are still expected to do their bit helping round the house. However, they both use my car so on top of that they have to cover the additional insurance it costs to have them on my policy as well as contribute to the maintenance & upkeep of the car - they use it far more than me. That has given them some sense of the cost of running a car - and that it's not cheap!
I see later in the thread you make a point of mentioning how you scrimp and save - well, welcome to the club!

You mentioned your dramas, not me!

JimmyTheWig

What hasn't been mentioned is paying off student debts.
If I had paid my parents a third of my take home pay as board when I came home from University I never would have cleared my overdraft, credit card bills and money I owed them in the time that I did.

My sister and I paid £100 a month each in the late 90s (and I paid an extra tenner for ironing!). A year after I moved back there I started the process of buying my own flat - I wasn't paying much with parents, but didn't get stuck in the "easy life".